UNITED GEEK HEROES: TEAM 2
By Kirkie Chick and Geeky Gem
You may have already read Hmsbeefnuts earlier piece on his United Geek Heroes. Well Kirkie Chick and I, reckon we can take him on. So we have come up with our own United Geek Heroes. Now, whether we could take on Hmsbeefnuts’ team, is something that we will find out at a later point, if this goes well. Below are our picks, please note, we do however have two extra team members than Hmsbeefnuts, but don’t forget we’re girls we need more help.
Leader – King Leonidas (300)
Now much for the same reason the Hmsbeefnuts picked Alexander the Great, we have gone for Leonidas. Come on people, he and his fellow Spartans fought off loads of Persians and their creepy friends. Plus, who wouldn’t want this guy on their team, did you see how he kicked that guy into a pit.
He would get the job done or die trying….oh wait he did that already. Well he’d give it his best, that’s for sure.
Brains – Colonel John ‘Hannibal’ Smith (The A-Team)
No we know what you’re thinking, ‘right why is Hannibal not our leader?’. Well I am not really sure, we just thought we needed more muscle up front, and that Hannibal always has a plan. We also thought that, should we need to build anything, then Hannibal was going to have more of an idea on how to do that, than Leonidas.
Money – Patrick Bateman (American Psycho)
Well we didn’t want ALL good guys on our team. Patrick Bateman has the money even if he does have psychotic tendencies. We couldn’t pass by the opportunity to have him kill someone, whilst listening to Huey Lewis and The News. Plus, we need his money to build the things that Hannibal will no doubt come up with, and they are never cheap. We would just have to make sure he doesn’t kill any of the team. That may be tricky.
Transport – Dominic Toreetto (The Fast and Furious Series)
So Dom may not be able to fly a tank, but he can make a car go pretty fast, and drag a safe behind it with no trouble. So our wheel man is fast, and that’s what you need, speed. He will have to stay away from train tracks mind, he doesn’t seem to have much luck in that area. So if Bateman can buy any car, Dom can drive any car. Sorted.
Comic Relief – Johnny English (Johnny English)
Yes OK, we picked the funny version of Bond. But hey it’s better than the original choice of Kermit the Frog, which I pointed out to Kirkie Chick would be hopeless in an explosion, as he’s made of felt. Plus, he needs one person to operate him. Anyway back to Johnny English, he has access to a lot of gadgets, and some cool cars that can do some awesome stuff. Need I say more?
Weapons Expert – Tony Stark (Iron Man)
Now I know, technically, we could have used Stark for the money as well, but we really wanted Bateman on this list. So we picked Stark as the weapons guy. Yes, I know he stopped making weapons to be used in war, but it doesn’t mean we couldn’t talk him into building things to save the planet. Plus, he can be our back up plan for the money. Besides, having Stark on-board means we can use his garage, and labs as a hideout.
Supernatural/Occult Expert – Hellboy (Hellboy)
Yes, we picked the Demon that Hmsbeefnuts described as a ‘big red Indy’. But I don’t care, because Hellboy is awesome. As he works at the BPRD, he has access to a lot of books and talismans in order to ward off evil. He may even know a spell or two, to keep Bateman in check. Plus some people are scared of him, and they may just run away.
Medic – Jean Grey (X-Men)
You may have noticed so far there are no women on our team. Well her she is, Jean Grey, not only can she move things with her mind, she’s a pretty good Doctor. When she’s not flipping out, and killing people as her alter ego Phoenix. Maybe Hellboy can fix that too.
Team Badass – Hit Girl (Kick Ass)
Okay we know she’s young, but the girl can fight with a sword for crying out loud. She’s also handy with a few other weapons. Guns and knives come to mind. Now we have to give her someone to mentor her, as she really can kick some butt, but still needs a bit of training. Normally this is where Batman would step in, but he’s on the other team so that’s a no go. Hit Girl also has a few gadgets, and the brains to make more, so she is an awesome addition to the team.
Pet/Mascot – Pan (The Golden Compass)
Pan is a shape-shifting daemon from the world of His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman. Now here comes the tricky part, as Pan is attached to Lyra. So Hellboy steps in with a very special spell, and separates Pan from Lyra, without hurting either of them, and Pan joins the team for the long haul. However one day, he will return to Lyra.
So that’s it. These are our picks. What do you think? Which team has the better chance of kicking some ass and which team needs to go home now, and not bother turning up.