All Geek To Me

Pure Geekness

Month of Movies Round Up: February

BY HMSBEEFNUTS

Let me start this piece off by stating that I did not see The Muppets. I hate The Muppets. I can see nothing in them to like, I would have seen the film thanks to Amy Adams and Jason Segel, however, my local cinemas insistence on showing the trailer, numerous adverts and the bloody Orange advert, at every screening, drove me crazy and I could not make myself go. People have called me soulless for not liking Muppets, but I don’t care, guess what, I don’t like Toy Story either, and I fell asleep during the third one. I didn’t like Where the Wild Things Are, or Fantastic Mr. Fox. Also, I am aware that The Phantom Menace was re-released, I do not hate this film, the light-sabre battle is one of the best, but I’m not going to watch it in 3D, what a waste of time. So now we know what a heartless bastard I am, we can continue looking into what films I saw this month.

Ghost Rider

I’m unsure of my feelings for my pick for Movie of the Month. I wouldn’t say I loved it, nor would I say I hated it, and I didn’t think it was just OK. Any movie directed by Neveltine and Taylor, and starring Nic Cage, Idris Elba and Cirian Hinds, can’t just be OK. I just don’t know. I can tell you I laughed all the way through it, that I loved every second that Nic Cage was on screen, but weirdly, the movie wasn’t quite as enjoyable when the Ghost Rider himself was present. Cage played the rider in this one, and you could tell, he was doing some weird shit in it, swaying back and forth and screaming at people. It was all very Nic Cage, but I just didn’t click with it. Saying that, the effects were great, the actual direction was pretty stunning, N & T move a movie camera in very unique ways, but there were periods of inaction, and from the guys who directed the Crank movies, this just felt odd.

If any of you guys have seen the excellent Drive Angry, this movie is kind of a remake of that, but not as crazy. The 3D was a real pain in the arse too. It did nothing for the film, and worsened the experience for me as it made the picture very dull. Stop using 3D Hollywood, unless it’s in IMAX, because it is a steaming pile of worthless shit, that’s right, you could not sell the shit, it is that bad. Would I recommend this film? Umm maybe, if you liked Crank, and love Nic Cage, and aren’t too picky about the films you see, it’s a B movie at the end of the day, and will provide fun on DVD with a few friends, a few pizzas, and more than a few beers.

The Woman in Black

I LOVE Hammer Horror Movies, love them. They are my favourite British movies, and so many of them are worth watching. When it was announced a few years ago that they were back, I was quite excited, I knew they were probably not going to dive into their classic franchises, but Gods know we could use a bit of Hammer sexiness in Gothic horror at the moment, but I was fascinated by what they would do. The only one I’ve seen is Wakewood. A story about a couple who lose their daughter, and a weird village population helps bring her back, not 100% successfully. It was creepy and most importantly good, check it out if you can. Then I heard Harry Potter had been cast in The Woman in Black and I was a bit perturbed that they had cast too young. I needn’t have worried. The Woman in Black is Gothic Horror, without the sexiness that Hammer used in the past, but in this case, would have been weird. The film is bleak, scary and tense, and Mr. Radcliff, whilst still young, does a good job as the lawyer, sent to a spooky house to sort out a dead woman’s estate. The cast is good, the scares tense, and the mood dark and depressing, but this is a ghost story, so what do you expect?

Geeky Gem picked this as her Movie of the Month, and she would have been right, in my opinion, if it wasn’t for one film I completely forgot about, more later. I would recommend this film to fans of horror, but don’t let your kids watch it. Just because it’s a 12A doesn’t mean children should watch this film. It is an adult film about adult subjects, let them watch Journey 2 instead, they will thank you.

Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

I love The Rock, have done since I first saw him in WWE. He is that rare kind of person that exudes charm and personality, I don’t think anyone hates Dwayne Johnson. I’ve seen all his films, and admittedly, not all of them are great, but he always makes them worthwhile. Journey 2, is the sequel to the Brendan Fraser starer, Journey to the Center of the Earth, and it is much better. The Rock plays a Step-Dad, who accompanies his would be son on a journey to find his Grandfather (Michael Cain!!) who has sent a distress signal from an island that shouldn’t exist. Along the way they pick up Louis Guzman and Vanessa Hudgens, and crash land on an island. Mix in Cpt. Nemo, Atlantis, tiny elephants, massive lizards and bees, and the peck pop of love, and this film is a good time at the cinema. Can’t wait for G.I. Joe!

Chronicle

The Age of the found footage film comes right up to date with Max Landis’ Chronicle. Three high school boys, the popular Jock, the middle of the road normal dude, and his cousin, the down trodden bullied geek, find…something in an under ground cavern, something glowing, that grants them super powers. The geeky kid feels more comfortable looking at life behind the lens of a camera, so we see the story from his camera and various other sources of footage. This film was much better than I thought it was going to be, and to be honest, this film is kind of fantastic. It’s good to know that the superhero genre is now established enough that we can get interesting takes on it. I recommend this film, which has great special effects, a compelling story and fine acting. My only complaint is that, if you or I were given superpowers, the first thing we would probably do is work on a name, quickly followed by a costume, these guys don’t seem to care about the basics. The superpowers enable the camera work to be much more impressive than in your typical found footage film, this is the best one since Troll Hunter. When is my Bigfoot found footage film coming?

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2 thoughts on “Month of Movies Round Up: February

  1. Cage is too old to play johnny Blaze.

    Agree about the Rock. Ive started watching WWE again because he is back to lay the smackdown on John Cenas candy arse. If you smell what the Rock is cooking!

    • I’ve been watching since Survivor Series, I’m quite into it again now. I’m excited about Wrestlemania, I think it will be genuinly good, and I thought the promo Cena cut on Raw on Monday was quite good for him.

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