Avenging April: 5 Super Stupid Supervillians
It’s April and here at All Geek To Me, we are VERY excited about a certain superhero film that drops at the end of the month. So, in celebration of the upcoming The Avengers, during a recent production meeting, Geeky Gem and I have decided that this month shall forever more be known as Avenging April. With us so far? Good. Now what does Avenging April actually mean? Well basically, we are trying to ride The Avengers bandwagon by writing a series of articles based on superheroes, to try to alleviate our growing excitement, and to make sure you all go and see what is sure to be in the top three biggest films this year. Now All Geek To Me’s staff don’t claim to know everything about superheroes or comic characters, but we know what we like, or don’t like, and thus, consider this fare warning…over the next month, superheroes will very much be taking centre stage, although there will be other articles for those who aren’t cape fanatics. So, without further ado, lets kick off Avenging April with a look at the 5 Super Stupid Supervillians…
I don’t feel like this pick needs too much explanation. Just look at the picture. Vincent Price with a huge egg shaped bald head. Egghead was created especially for the 1960’s Batman TV show, and was suitably camp and rubbishy. I’m not down on the Batman TV show, I like it, but it is a work of campy genius. Egghead is one of the stupidest, and therefore best villains on the show. He is described thusly; ‘A super smart villain who’s brain is too big for his head. He has a soft spot in his cold heart for anything that has the word egg in it‘. I love that corner of The Bats Rogues Gallery that is populated by villains who are fixated on ridiculous things. He even had a Moll called Miss Bacon. Just look again at the picture Egghead is stupid, and incredibly awesome. How about Egghead and King Tut for a Batman reboot?
My God that name is stupid. Granny. Goodness. Ridiculous. What is even more stupid is that Granny Goodness is associated with Darkseid. She runs the training facility for his elite soldiers, using torture and brainwashing techniques in her warped childcare system, in order to train elite fanatical warriors, who will die for Darkseid. Her powers include superhuman strength, speed and durability. She is also adept at using Apokoliptian technology. She is a formidable opponent, but she is called Granny Goodness. God damn it.
Our next three villains fall into the category of ‘not everything sounds sinister and scary’. Especially in this case, Quilts. Crazy Quilt was once Paul Dekker, an ex-painter who has turned master thief. Blinded during a botched robbery by a gun shot, he was taken to prison. Whilst inside, he volunteered for a medical procedure that would restore his vision. It worked, sort of. He can now only see blinding, disorienting colours. He obviously then went insane, and started to dress like a complete idiot, oh and calling himself Crazy Quilt, and he is now able to control peoples minds, with a mind-controlling helmet.
Dear God. Frank Oliver studied kangaroo’s in his native Australia, so hard he developed a jumping ability to rival the marsupials. Obviously, he decided the best way to exploit this new ability was to become a champion boxer, well you would wouldn’t you? After accidentally kicking an opponent in the face, and right into the hospital, Frank jumped ship to America to evade justice. Escaping from deportation, Frank decide a life of crime was for him. Having been defeated by Spider-man easily first time off, he escaped but had wounded pride. He then met Dr. Jonas Harrow, who offered to superhuman The Kangaroo up. An operation later, and The Kangaroo was now jet powered, able to leap 100ft. and be super strong. The story doesn’t exactly end well, but no spoilers. He hates Spider-man though, loads.
Look comic creators, not everything in the world should be turned into a cool superpower. However lame The Calculator seems, and he seems really stupid, he is actually quite a tough opponent. He started off by losing to every member of the Justice League. However, in reality he was assessing his opponents strengths and weaknesses with his calculator suit, which after pressing a special button, he could make sure they could never beat him again. He became immune from defeat by any hero he had analysed, and could only be defeated by a new hero each time, or by turning his powers against him. In fact The Calculator is quite cool, he just looks really stupid.