Re-make – Jason and the Argonauts
Hello, once again you find me pondering a film that probably should never ever be remade, but that I have decided it might be fun to recast in my head. Unlike Ghostbusters or JAWS, I would not wholeheartedly mind a remake of Jason and the Argonauts, as long as it was nothing like the awful Clash, and Wrath of the Titans. May I also suggest that although obviously Ray Harryhausen’s amazing stop motion work wouldn’t be featured, perhaps he could be part of the design team, and show the young whipper-snappers how monsters should really look and act. I think that the structure of the original movie is pretty perfect, however, perhaps we can shake up the crew of the Argo a bit, dip back into the original myth and feature a few more of the Argonauts.
I’m also going to split this into Immortals and Mortals, and The Gods get to go first…
ZEUS – Anthony Hopkins
You can’t really argue with Hopkins. He brings gravitas to every role. He was great as Odin in Thor, and I think it only correct that he gets to play another King of the Gods. Zeus is a little unstable, Hopkins does crazy well. Match made on Olympus?
POSIEDON – Brendan Gleeson
Ah Brendan Gleeson. One of my favourite older actors. Has done similar work before in Troy, but lets give him the chance to sink his teeth, or trident, into the murky depths of the wine dark sea. The God of the Ocean needs a fine beard, Gleeson fits the bill.
HERA – Helen Mirren
A very beautiful older lady, and a fine actress, who else could play the wife of Zeus, and Jason’s guardian angel? British actors/actresses are made to play ancient people and gods in films like this, and after playing a few Queens, why not Queen of the Gods?
HERMES – Kevin McKidd
Hermes is a younger God, in fact, the messenger of the Gods. I imagine this would be a smaller role, but important. I like Kevin Mckidd in everything, especially Rome. He also has previous God experience from Percy Jackson. He may see this as a demotion, play Hermes, but I would like a great actor in the role, and also, a bit of a Rome reunion with a few of our mortals would be fun to see on screen.
JASON – Christian Bale
Bale is great, in everything, but he hasn’t done a role quite like this before. One of my favourite actors, this could be his Gladiator, but with monsters and Gods. He has the right heroic look, and who s anyone to question the choice of Batman?
HERCULES – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson
There is only one man who could conceivably play Hercules, The Rock. He would have to tone down his accent, but his personality could remain. Hercules is going to be a little in awe of himself, The Rock is the most awesome guy on the planet, plus he has the build for it. Forget the Scorpion King, The Rock is a more accomplished actor now.
MEDEA – Eva Green
The foreign temptress that falls for our hero Jason. The daughter of the King of Colchis needs to be exotic, beautiful and very very sexy. Eva Green ticks all these boxes, and is a fine actress to boot. Plus it gives me an opportunity to post a picture of her, which is never a bad thing.
ATALANTA – Gina Carano
In myth, Atalanta had a tough life. Her father wanted a son, and when she was born, her father left her to die in the wilderness. She was raised by a she-bear and became a fierce fighter and hunter. She pledged her virginity to the Goddess Artemis, and when two centaurs tried to rape her, she killed them. A fierce warrior, and one of the few female characters needs to hold her own against the boys club or the Argo. Carano is not only very beautiful, but is legit hard as nails. A simple choice.
ARGUS – Sean Bean
The builder of The Argo, Argus is Greece’s greatest shipwright. So I’ve picked one of my favourite actors for the role. Bean is great in stuff like this, and I hear he doesn’t like roles that go on for ever, so if necessary, he can bow out early, but it’s a smaller role anyway, Beano would be perfect.
CASTOR – James Purefoy
Along with his brother Pollux, I see Castor bringing a little comic relief. Fighting brothers striving to out do each other. Purefoy is one of my favourite actors, brilliant in Rome and Solomon Kane, and the second member of our Rome reunion, Purefoy picks himself.
POLLUX – Ray Stevenson
I love Ray Stevenson, he is brilliant. One of the best things in Rome, Stevenson is a force of nature, with a childish grin and a sense of fun. He can bring some comic relief, but when the shit hits the fan, he can bring the brute force.
ACASTUS – Michael Fassbender
Pelias’ son and the bad seed among the Argonauts. Fassbender has that look in his eye, dangerous, vengeful. Undoubtedly a brilliant actor, Fassbender would be great as the jealous rival to Bale’s Jason, and I want to see Batman and Magneto beat the shit out of each other.
PHINEAS – Ian Mckellen
The man who was cursed by Zeus to be blind after his arrogance, and tormented by Harpies. Ian Mckellen is just brilliant isn’t he? OK, it is a tiny role, but a memorable one, and who better to offer Jason advice than Gandalf himself?
KING AEETES – Liam Neeson
A villain with a point of view, Liam Neeson can bring something a little extra to the role of the king who guards The Golden Fleece. He is the third acts villain, but how would you like it if a bunch of Greeks rocked up and stole your God given gift? Majorly pissed off. Liam can bring his particular set of skills to the King of Colchis.
PELIAS – Brian Cox
The Man who conquered Jason’s Father’s kingdom and who now rules it. Also the man who sends Jason on the Quest for the Golden Fleece, thinking he has no chance of succeeding, and would die in the attempt. Brian Cox does evil extremely well. Previous similar roles in Troy and X-Men 2, prove Cox is a great choice as bad guy.