Indie Cinema and Why I Hate It
What is an indie film? Well for me, an indie film is perfectly captured in the work of Wes Anderson. The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic and Moonrise Kingdom. I hate all these films. I have only seen two of them. The trailer alone for Moonrise Kingdom is enough to make me spill my Pepsi Max and scatter my popcorn everywhere. It literally disgusts me to my core. I have never been a fan of that kind of quirky little drama film, although I will admit to liking some, namely Eagle Vs Shark, and Gentleman Broncos, but in the main, I just don’t get what is so appealing about these boring, boring films.
It annoys me when these films are praised to the sky. ‘How original’; critics say, ‘Five stars!!’. What?!? There is very little original about the majority of indie films, they are, in my opinion, very formulaic, perhaps even more so than films such as Battleship. Now in no way am I saying that Battleship was a good film, or in fact, very original, but I did enjoy watching it at the cinema. It was dumb, loud, expolsive and stupid, but it was fun, for two hours. I would never watch it again, but it was popcorn flick that gave me enough bang for my movie buck. Films by Wes Anderson etc. very rarely, if ever provide me, with value for money.
I could write a Wes Anderson story outline, let me attempt it here. Small Town America. Weird loner, lets say, male, adolescent. Outcast from the ‘cool’ kids in school/job/town. Has a weird hobby, lets say, flies kites. His parents are divorced, or at least, he comes from a ‘broken home’. He hangs out with one other weird, although not quite so weird kid, they don’t say much to each other. He is useless with women, although a very cute girl takes a fancy to him. He gets involved in contrived weird situations, and becomes some what of a local hero, or overcomes some obstacle, although he doesn’t learn anything and at the end of the film, he is very much in the same position as he was at the start. He still loves flying kites, not talking to his friend and being weird. If Wes or his mates haven’t already made a film exactly like that, I’m sure he will very soon. The style of the film is bleak, washed out colours, boring camera moves, no visual flare, depressingly boring.
I would rather chew my own dick off than watch The Royal Tenenbaums again, or The Life Aquatic, or Fantastic Mr. Fox, or Where The Wild Things Are. I get that these films clearly aren’t made for me. I go to the cinema for spectacle, to see worlds and lands and adventures I could only imagine. I don’t go to see an even worse version of real life. I fail to see any positives in films like these, and things get even worse, if that’s possible, when British indie films come out. Instead of the enforced weirdness and whimsy that infuses American indie cinema, British indie films are very depressing, very boring and harrowing. No thanks. British cinema has some great genre films and film makers, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz and Dog Soldiers. Film makers with talent and vision like Neil Marshal and Edgar Wright.
I’m sorry if you like Wes Anderson and his contemporaries. I know that they are reasonably popular, that they speak to a certain audience, that audience just isn’t me. I know at least one person who contributes to this blog that happens to like Wes Anderson, and I hope that soon she will leap to his defence and tell me why I am very, very wrong. The geek world is broad and wide, one geek’s treat, is another geek’s trick, and at the end of the day, isn’t that what makes life interesting? Enough of my ranting, I shall leave you with this final thought, Wes Anderson is rubbish, catch you soon!!