All Geek To Me

Pure Geekness

Mulling Over May

By @hmsbeefnuts

I really can’t believe that May is over, where is the time going? Anyway, in our May preview, I was not very enthused by the quality of films that were set to be released this month, however, in fact, May didn’t really turn out so bad, at least when it comes to the films I saw. Lets delve deeper shall we?


Probably my favourite film this month. All out action with Jason Statham, what more could anyone ask for. Stath plays a super cop turned trash man, who falls foul of old friends, the Chinese Mob and the Russians. He manages to play all three factions off against each other trying to protect a little girl with a photographic memory, who has memorised some very important numbers. Stath almost manages to pull of a New York accent, but that isn’t really what you came to watch the film for. It may not bean acting master-class, but it kicks a hell of a lot of ass. If you ever kill Stath’s wife in a film, better run far, far away, can I suggest perhaps The Moon? Because he will find you, and you will wish he didn’t. A great action film starring the current King of action cinema. How long before Stath and The Rock team up?


I was kind of looking forward to this film. The trailer looked interesting, Johnny Depp is always quality and Eva Green looks fantastic. Oh boy. I was very disappointed. Tim Burton seems like he didn’t quite know what to do here, moments of comedy are bookended with moments of misplaced horror, perpetrated by Depp’s Barnabus Collins, the person we are supposed to be cheering for. It felt a little uneven and a little lifeless. It was very melodramatic, well it is based on a soap opera, and characters were not given enough room to breathe and grow. Relationships felt forced and things seemingly just happened for no particular reason. Depp was good, Eva Green was sexy, the film was not very good.


Mel Gibson. Sexist, racist and mad. I do not like Mr. Gibson. However, Mel the man and the characters he plays I suppose are different, and despite myself, I did very much enjoy Mel going mad in a Mexican Prison. The action was good, especially good use of two grenades, and the plot was nice too. It wasn’t quite as enjoyable as Safe, but it defiantly had it’s moments. If you can stand Mel Gibson, I would defiantly recommend it.


I loved Piranha 3D. I thought it was perfect popcorn entertainment. Ridiculous plot, sexy girls, great cameos and plenty of death and destruction. I was looking forward to the sequel, although, it didn’t look quite so good, but then it was bound to still be fun in a cheesy B-movie way, and if everything else went wrong, we still have boobs to look forward too. Well, the film wasn’t very good. There was no point in it being in 3D, the plot was worse, the acting worse overall, the film was worse. However, I still enjoyed it, but wouldn’t recommend it to most people. A certain character’s return to the franchise however was very amusing, and who can turn down gun legs? The cameos were also a lot of fun. Check it out if you like that sort of film, but beware, I am in no way saying this film is any good.


I found myself laughing despite my misgivings, at the trailers for this film. It is broad and silly, but you know what? I laughed all the way through. If your a fan of Baron Cohen’s usual brand of humour, there is a lot to like here. It’s not as good as Bruno or Borat, but it seems that Cohen is adept at more scripted comedy as well as his usual improvised shtick. I went with two friends, we all laughed all the way through, and if I’m not mistaken, that is all a comedy is supposed to provide. Job done.


The big film in May, and the one I was expecting nothing from. I didn’t like MIB 2, I’m not a huge fan of Will Smith any more to be honest. I was expecting nothing, I was wrong. There was a lot of fun to be had in MIB 3. Will Smith was likeable, Tommy Lee Jones was grumpy and Josh Brolin did an awesome impression of Jones. Bad guy duties were excellently performed by Jermaine Clement, and I loved the time travel plot. It made me want to see more MIB adventures, but perhaps Smith and Jones have gona as far as they should. Set future instalments in the 60’s, have Brolin and another partner investigate the scum of the universe and I’m down to rock and roll. MIB 3 was a whole lot of fun, perfect blockbuster entertainment for a bright sunny Sunday morning. Even a little heartfelt at the end. My second favourite film this month. I was not expecting to type that.

So there we are. I saw a fair few films this month. I did have plans to watch American Pie: Reunion and The Raid, but it just didn’t transpire this month, perhaps I’ll catch them at a later date. So much for May, June promises an even more exciting time at the movies.

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