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SUMMER KNIGHTS: TOP 10 SWORDSMEN IN FILM

By @hmsbeefnuts

Knights have swords, everyone knows that. So in a thinly constructed link to our Summer Knights season of articles, I have decided to write a few words about my personal favourite blokes who wield swords. Hardly any of these are knights, but they all have swords, so it counts, it defiantly counts.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Conan is the ultimate sword based badass. No stupid barbarian is he, but a clever, and deadly opponent, a match for any man, woman, monster, demon or God. Taught from a young age to end lives with his blade, Conan has been awesome at being a buccaneer, warrior, corsair, thief, gladiator and every other conceivable sword based career type you can mention. His sword is awesome, he killed wolves and wore there skins as a cloak, and dammit just read some Conan or watch the original movie, you wont be sorry.

SOLOMON KANE

Who said religious guys weren’t fucking badass? An ex pirate, reformed because the Devil wants his soul, Solomon becomes a Puritan hero fighting evil all around the Globe. His pirating skills obviously help a lot when you are fighting demons and monsters, and the guy can dual wield swords like a mother fucker.

INIGO MONTOYA

Anyone who’s Father dies at the hands of a six fingered man, swears revenge, and dedicates his life to the pursuit of revenge, despite there being little money in it, is alright by me. Inigo is a permed Spanish Badass, fair, yet deadly. A future Dread Pirate Roberts, Inigo is a master with a blade. His fight with The Dread Pirate Roberts, is one of the greatest fights in cinema history, and boy, what a catch phrase… Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my Father. Prepare to die!!!

ROBIN HOOD

Robin of Loxley, hero of the crusades, a noble man who fights for the common man, against the combined evil of King (Prince) John, The Sheriff of Nottingham and Guy of Guisborne. More noted as an archer, and why not he is very very good, Robin is also quite adept as a swordsman. His fight against Guy of Guisborne In The Adventures of Robin Hood, is the standard against which all subsequent sword fights should be set. The guy is a legend, even as a fox, he could wield a sword better than most humans, suck it most humans.

ARAGORN

Aragorn is a man trapped by destiny. He is destined to reclaim the throne of Gondor, but he doesn’t spend his time trying to stay alive until his time is right, he spends it fighting Orcs, Cave Trolls and Ring Wraiths. Absolute middle earth bad ass.

OBI WAN KENOBI

Ben is responsible for besting more Sith Lords than any other. He cut Darth Maul in half, sliced the shit out of his former best friend and pupil Darth Vader, and chose to become one with the force in an old age rematch. Lightsabers are cool, and for my money Obi Wan is the best at lightsabers, simple.

ACHILLES

Achilles is a killing machine, he can barely move his arm and kill you. Every move is measured and deliberate. His finishing move, the jumping lunge, is as deadly as the Leg Drop of Doom, or The F5.

MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS

General, gladiator, farmer, Father to a murdered son, Husband to a murdered wife, Maximus is a stone cold badass with a gladius. The shorter Roman sword isn’t an easy weapon to master, but Maximus, decimates the competition. Dispensing sword advice to his adversaries, throwing swords like a knife, and fighting tigers and Emperors, Maximus is the Roman equivalent of Batman. It doesn’t get any better.

NED STARK

In the land of Westeros, everyone fears Ser Jaime Lannister. Renowned as the greatest swordsman in the land, in both battle and tourney. However, there is one man, one man in Westeros, who could not give less of a fuck about Ser Jaime’s sword skills. Ned Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Hand of the King, and owner of the biggest sword this side of the Wall, is the baddest most Knightly, honourable man in the whole kingdom, and is an absolute dude with a sword. If he and Jaime ever got the chance to go at it, without interference, my money would be on Ned.

JASON

In a ship full of the greatest heroes in all of Greece, Jason alone is the man who survives a fight with 7 viscous skeletal warriors. No mean feat to fight the undead, especially since you cant stab them, or cut them. Jason is cool, even though his sword looks like a gardening implement.

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7 thoughts on “SUMMER KNIGHTS: TOP 10 SWORDSMEN IN FILM

  1. greeny on said:

    The kings layer would have killed Ned. It’d be a good fight but Jamie was better and younger.

    • I think that Ned had the experience, if he wasn’t stabbed in the leg, Lannister was going down, Ned had that look in his eye, where he had just about taken all the Lannister shit he could. Ned wins in my book, because experience beats confidence everytime.

  2. They all should be put into an arena and pitted against each other to find Whi is the greatest of them all.

    I’d buy that movie.

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