All Geek To Me

Pure Geekness

Movie Review Round Up

By @hmsbeefnuts

With all the Autumnal Terror that has been going on here recently I have been neglectful of keeping those interested in my opinion on films, informed of what films I have seen. Now I’m not really sure why anyone in particular would be interested in what my opinion on any given film is, but that is not going to stop me from writing about it. As it has been quite some time I can not remember, or be bothered to look up, what films I have actually written about, but I am pretty certain that the following films have not been written about by me. If I have doubled up, I apologise, perhaps you can see if my thoughts have changed on the film, but as I’m pretty sure I haven’t written anything about these films; that little game will have to remain merely a dream. A fair few Halloween type films this time around, obviously, and a good amount of films to write about too, so lets crack on shall we?

LOOPER

Lots of people have said Looper is great. I am not one of them. I didn’t really see what everyone was making such a massive fuss about. It was well acted, had decent action, a decent premise, but just didn’t really do anything too amazing for me. The major problem was JGL, not his performance, which is always great, but the stupid CGI makeup job they did to his face to make him look like a young Bruce Willis. It just made him look very weird, and it was quite distracting, because he looked so weird. We know what Bruce looked like young, and we know what JGL looks like, it doesn’t matter that they look nothing alike, audiences are willing to suspend their disbelief, instead, this weird thing is on-screen and I didn’t care for it much. Apart from that, the film was fine, just didn’t rock my world. Emily Blunt is sexy as hell though, so extra points for that. Worth seeing, but not worth all the fuss.

TAKEN 2

Lots of hate for this film. I found it alright for what it was. Nowhere near as good as the first, but Liam Neeson is always watchable and some of the deaths were entertaining. The picture I have chosen for this film perfectly illustrates how I feel about the film. Ice cream is fine, but when you go in expecting a steak, it is disappointing. Look at how happy Neeson is in that picture. He should never be that happy in a sequel to Taken, ever. Even if he is fucking Jean Grey and his daughter is safe.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

I saw this film with my Lady friend and her son. He is 4 years old. We all liked it a lot. I liked the references to my beloved Universal Monsters, and the bigfoot cameo’s, he loved the colours and the ‘zany’ comedy. The story is typical of such films, over protective Dad, daughter fancies a stranger, in this case a human, and there is even a ‘race to the airport’ scene. So in no way original. But it amused all of us for an afternoon, and I would watch it again. Loved the Wolfman and Frankenstein characters, all in all worth taking a small child too.

MADAGASCAR 3

Back to the cinema with said Lady friend and small child, and erghhh. Great flaming Zeus on a pegasus, this film was utter shit. It moved at breakneck speed. I hated all the characters, especially the Lemur King, I would watch Madagascar 4: Trip To The Abattoir just to see all these characters die in horrible, horrible ways. I have seen all these fucking movies for some reason, and I fucking hate them all. Small child however, loved it and wanted to see it again. I might have another trip to see this at some point, if we can’t think of anything else to do on a rainy weekend. Please let it stay dry. Circus Afro may be the worst thing I have ever had to endure. Just awful. I know these films aren’t aimed at me, and every other child I know loved the shit out of it, but really, go see Hotel Transylvania instead.

SKYFALL

This was the film I was most looking forward too last month, and it was fantastic. Daniel Craig is for me the best Bond, he brings the nastiness of the character to the forefront, just like my second favourite Bond, Timothy Dalton (shitty films, good Bond). I still think Casino Royal is the better movie, but Skyfall is so damn close. At times it felt less like a Bond movie, and more like a great action movie starring James Bond. But the Bondness was their in spades too. Great title sequence, great pre-title sequence, great action, good villain, sexy girls, M, Q, long may the Craig Bond films continue. Only one slight problem, I hated Naomie Harris, just thought she was totally weak in her role, one which will most likely be repeated, so lets try harder next time shall we Naomie? Apart from that, awesome movie. Go see it, but you probably already have.

SINISTER

I saw Sinister with a friend of mine. She was terrified throughout the film. I didn’t really know what to make of it. I jumped, but I was never scared. The movie uses cheap scares for many of its big moments, and whilst there is nothing really wrong with jump scares, they shouldn’t be your only port of call. There were a few nice set pieces in the videos, but the idea behind the film was a bit too ridiculous, something about a Babylonian God who can haunt you through images. It was OK, and delivered one gory and shocking moment, even though it was obvious it was coming. I much prefered the film below.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4

I like the Paranormal Activity films, and I’m not bored of them yet, even though the formula is getting a bit familiar in this fourth one. My favourite of the franchise is a toss up between 2 and 3, and whilst this installment is the worst yet, I still liked it. It advances the story slightly, and makes good use of laptops, and the XBOX Kinect sensor to raise some chills, although nothing is quite as good as the camera mounted on a moving fan scenes from number 3. The main couple, a young girl and her boyfriend, are very likable and I cared for their welfare, and Katie Featherstone is back as the horrible, yet very sexy, demon/***** (censored) next door, and the scares are quite effective. Stay until the end of the credits and see a confusing spanish/mexican flavoured scene that doesn’t make much sense, but is promoting Paranormal Activities Latin flavoured off shoot. I will be watching the inevitable 5th entry, but feel that things need to be changed a little for the next entry. If you liked the first 3, and are not fed up with the concept, it is worth a look, and I enjoyed it.

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