MONDAY MUSING

By @hmsbeefnuts

It happened a few weeks ago now, and which seems like ages. Millions of words have been written and spoken about it. Bitching, cheering, fear, hope, all seems to be in the mix when discussing the biggest news to hit the Geek community for, well, maybe ever. I am of course referring to Disney’s acquisition of George Lucas’ company, Lucasarts. It was about time that someone here at All Geek To Me wrote some thoughts on this huge story, so I elected myself to write it.

I don’t have a problem with Disney, in fact, I kind of love it, I think they do a great job with the franchises they control, from ones they created themselves, to the ones they have bought, such as The Muppets and of course Marvel Comics. They seem to show a great deal of respect for all of their individual fans and one just needs to look at The Avengers to see how Disney can treat a massive franchise, beloved of fans world wide, with a hands off attitude. Disney are obviously in the business of making loads of cash, and they don’t want to fuck up huge franchises like Star Wars, and Indiana Jones, in fact, a trip around Disneyland will reassure you that Disney is the exact place for these specific franchises. Star Tours and the Indiana Jones rides are some of my favourite attractions in Disney, you can tell they care about and realise the importance of these films and characters.

I’m sure that we can look forward to a Star Wars Land, or even a whole Star Wars Theme Park in the future, and I for one can’t wait. As for the movies, I look forward to Episodes VII, VIII, IX and all the future movies have the potential to be excellent. Of course, they ould be awful, but then without the direction of Lucas, Star Wars gets a chance to breathe. I don’t happen to hate the prequels, I think that Revenge of the Sith is the best Star Wars movie, but I don’t think you can deny that Lucas can not direct actors. He is however a great ideas man. Give new Star Wars movies to the likes of Brad Bird, Del Toro, Spielberg or Peter Jackson, and I can’t wait to see the results.

All in all this is a very exciting time for fans of Star Wars, and I’m sure we can look forward to more and more epic announcements from Disney in the coming months and years, I have but one request, no fucking Jar-Jar.

Autumn of Terror: My Favourite Monsters Part 2

By @hmsbeefnuts

Yesterday I brought you part one of a two part blog about my favourite versions of all the classic monsters. Well guess what? Here is part two, so you know the deal, here comes some more monsters that I love, and some more honourable mentions that I love almost, but not quite, as much. Part One can be found here. Part Two starts…. Now.

ZOMBIES

Zombies really don’t have that much in the name of variety. You have your standard undead, raised by magic, meteorites or simply if Hell is full with souls, and your voodoo type slave zombies. I happen to like the undead type, and what better, more horrible zombies than the Nazi variety. Call of Duty is a great game and the zombie mode is always fun. The scary thing about zombies is that on there own, they can be quite manageable, it is only when there are a crowd that things become a problem. When that crowd comes running screaming towards you, dressed like nazis, shit has really hit the fan, all one can hope is the magic box grants you a ray gun…

HONOURABLE MENTION

Little girl rage zombies, well that is just scary as shit right?

WITCHES

Responsible for more children’s nightmares than any other monster on this list, The Wicked Witch of the West is the perfect embodiment of evilness. Green skin, perfect witchy outfit, broom stick, hatred of children and general goodness, and if that’s not enough, she has flying blue monkey soldiers, and it doesnt get more evil than that.

HONOURABLE MENTION

The head witch is very scary. That moment when she takes her face off, absolutely terrifying, and she looks grotesque. Imagine waking up to that? No thanks.

MUMMIES

I like my Mummies wrapped in bandages and the Hammer mummy looks creepiest to me. Boris Karloff may be one of my favourite horror actors, but then so is Christopher Lee, and his eyes are way creepier than the Universal Mummy.

HONOURABLE MENTION

If Karloff had stayed in the bandages all the way through the film, he would have been my ultimate choice, however, he doesn’t and is quickly portrayed as a Dracula type figure. Love that black and white picture though.

MR. HYDE

I have always loved this look for Mr. Hyde. Very simian looking, very primal, and a brilliant transformation scene. It has to be this version of Hyde, it is the greatest.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Forget the film, the comic version of this Mr  Hyde is king. The way he deals with the invisable man alone proves this.

HUNCHBACK

Lon Chaney Snr. old school make up job, say no more.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Bela Lugosi played an evil hunchback assisstant in Son of Frankenstein, almost the best.

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello, welcome back. This week I am going to focus on books, comic books and the normal type. I don’t usually have a lot of time for reading, but recently, I have found myself reaching for a few books, and even finishing them! I know, how exciting. It is true, the majority of these books have been graphic novels, but still, they count, they definitely count. So without too much fuss, lets just get on with this blog shall we?

BATMAN THE BLACK MIRROR

This was the first time I had read a Batman story that didn’t involve Bruce Wayne, apart from the Knightfall saga. Dick Grayson is our Batman in this tale of serial murder, crime bosses, dead whales, villain auctions and sons gone bad. I would not want to spoil anything for you, it really is that good. At first I wasn’t sure if Batman would be as compelling without Bruce Wayne, but I needn’t have worried. Dick Grayson is a different kind of character, but no less compelling as the Dark Knight. His past as Robin, Nightwing and a police officer in Bludhaven all come in to play in some sublime story telling by Scott Snyder. In many ways this is the first comic since Batman: Year One that features the Gordon character in such a brilliant way. His story is just as compelling as Batman’s and sometimes even more so. This is one of the best Batman graphic novels I have ever read, and I really didn’t think I would be saying that about a Batman comic that didn’t have Bruce Wayne in it. I urge everyone with an interest in Batman to seek this out, it really is rather special.

OLD MAN LOGAN

In the world of the future, there are no heroes anymore. Most of them have died, and the few who are left aren’t in the hero business anymore. Logan AKA Wolverine, is older, has a family, and hasn’t popped his claws since the supervillains took over. He works a farm that is under the control of The Hulks, and he owes them a lot of rent money. When Clint Barton AKA Hawkeye comes to him with a proposition, Logan takes the seemingly easy job, so he can get the Hulks off his back. Basically a futuristic western, this has The Man With No Name flavour all over it. It is a fantastic tale, which I will not spoil here, that shows us the end of the Marvel heroes as we know them, and an adventure with Logan and Hawkeye. the first of which refuses to release his anger and claws, but you just know that at some point, someone is going to push him too far, he is Wolverine after all. I loved this book, and I would recommend it to anyone. As it doesn’t take place in comic continuity, you don’t need to know loads about the Marvel Universe but a basic knowledge will serve you well.

THE INFINITY GAUNTLET

As soon as I saw The Avengers (I refuse to call it Marvel’s Avengers Assemble), I knew I had to find out who that purple dude with a massive jaw line was. Well turns out he is Thanos, the Mad God, and this was the most recognisable Thanos book out there. Basic story is, after collecting all the Infinity Gems, and placing them in the Infinity Gauntlet, Thanos tries to impress his lady love Death. The gauntlet and gems give him ultimate power over everything and everyone in the universe and beyond, a power he uses to try to get the attention of the afore-mentioned Death. Of course this causes many problems for the heroes of Earth and beyond, so it’s time for a huge super hero smack down to stop Thanos before he destroys everything. This was my first proper taste of intergalactic Marvelness, and I have to say, it was pretty amazing. I love a good hero team up, and when all of Earths mightiest heroes team up with the galaxies strongest, fun is sure to be had. I will admit to not knowing a few of the characters back stories, but as I have been reading some classic Marvel recently, I knew most of the characters featured. I think that sometimes, diving in to a graphic novel fresh, can be a bit daunting, but it pays off often, and leads you on to discover more amazing adventures featuring characters you may never have thought about before. The Infinity Gauntlet is well worth checking out, particularly if you have an interest in the possible future direction of Marvel Phase Two movies.

That’s just about it for this week, I’ll see you again next week for more Whimsy of a Wednesday variety.

10 GREAT DOCUMENTARIES YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT: PART 2

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello and welcome to part 2 of my look at 10 documentaries you should check out.

HITMAN HART: WRESTLING WITH SHADOWS

The second documentary on this list that focuses on Wrestling, but forgive me this, as this is very different from Beyond the Mat. Following WWF superstar Bret Hart in his final year with WWF, during the Monday Night Wars, the film makers are given remarkable insight into the backstage world of wrestling. Hart comes across as noble and a gentleman, with his boss, Vince McMahon, and rival Shawn Michaels, less so. What is so fascinating about this film however, is that it covers one of the most infamous events in wrestling history, the Montreal Screwjob. For those that don’t know about this incident, basically, Bret Hart was supposed to win the match in his hometown, before dropping his World Title the next night on RAW, and then leaving for WCW. McMahon and Micheals had other ideas. This is a look into the nastier elements of the wrestling business, and is an amazing look into an incident that has become wrestling legend. Worth a look if you don’t care about wrestling, essential if you do.

EPISODE IV: A FANS HOPE

This is perhaps the geekiest documentary on the list, and I’m sure if you are reading this site, then there is something in this film that you will dig. I happened to love it. Shot by Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame, A Fans Hope, follows the stories of numerous geeks trying to make it into the business, or trying to make money at the geek business, or asking your girlfriend to marry you at a Kevin Smith panel. The stories of these subjects are heartwarming and heartbreaking. Filmed at San Diego Comic Con, the Mecca for the geek community, this film is nerd nirvana for all sorts of geek subjects, cosplay, comic book art, collectors etc. For someone like me who has always wanted to go to comic con, this doc shows you the passion of the fans who attend for various reasons. Geeks can dream, and sometimes, dreams come true.

THE ARISTOCRATS

The Aristocrats is a joke that comedians tell other comedians. This film is a series of comedians telling their versions of the joke, and talking about the joke. The same basic joke, over and over again, with each comedian giving their own spin on things. The film is filthy, hilarious and a great look into what famous comedians find funny. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in a cinema than when I watched this. Filmed by Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza, the film is not for the faint of heart. The Aristocrats is a filthy and disgusting joke, but it is hilarious, and each comedian out doing the last with filth and depravity, The Aristocrats is a solid 90 mins of entertainment, as long as you like that sort of thing.

PROJECT GRIZZLY

Troy Hurtubise is obsessed by grizzly bears. He has survived a grizzly attack and wants to get close to them again, in order to study and observe them. But how would one make themselves safe from bear attack? Well, why not build a suit of armour reminiscent of Tony Starks Mark I armour? This doc is very funny, but also does focus on one mans obsession to get close to these highly dangerous animals. I know that this is the second film on this list that concerns itself with grizzly bears, but this is a very different animal than Grizzly Man. I know that if I could conceivably fight a grizzly bear man to bear, I would totally do it. Look at the picture and tell me you don’t want to see that bear try and batter the dude?

BEST WORST MOVIE

I assume you probably havent seen Troll 2, probably not seen Troll. Well Troll 2 is so shit, that it has become a bit of a classic, and this documentary is all about Troll 2, the people who ‘star’ in it, and the fans who love it. Directed by Michael Stephenson, who is the child star of Troll 2, the movie digs deep into the resurgence of this cult movie, focussing mainly on the star of the film, George Hardy. Hardy is seemingly one of the nicest person on Earth, now a dentist, Hardy gets caught up in a tour of the movie, showing to fans, but not everything he experiences is pleasurable. This is a wonderful little film, about a truly shit film, but if you like really bad films, Troll 2 is worth seeing, and I would recommend Best Worst Movie to anyone who has ever laughed at a bad B-Movie.

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY

By @hmsbeefnuts

Welcome friends, once again, to a steaming hot, tasty plate o’ whimsy, served every Wednesday, by yours truly. I have been threatening for a while now, toying with the idea of actually writing a new blog all about WWE, but once again, it is beyond my grasp this week. I just havent had the time to process much that has gone on in the WWE Universe, perhaps next week, maybe, probably not though, we shall see. That leaves me with a blog to fill, and not much time to properly think about something and plan it properly. So I shall probably just write some stuff about the stuff I have done, since the last Wednesday blog, as long as it is deemed geeky enough to be blog worthy. Well, things have changed in my life recently. I have a new job, and TWO whole days off on the weekend. This has meant that I am actually enjoying my days off immensely. I used to have only Saturday off, and it felt far too short a time between weeks. This two day malarkey is fantastic, and my whole weekend was filled with fun and frolics, and of course, movies, some gaming, reading and TV, pretty much everything a growing geek needs.

Lets start with movies shall we? This week I managed to see two films at the cinema, Dredd, and Lawless. I loved both of these films, for very different reasons, as they are quite different, but I would recommend both of them. Lets start with Dredd. Based on UK comic property 2000 AD’s Judge Dredd, Dredd 3D is in 3D, and usually, I would be fuming that 2D wasn’t offered as an alternative, however, this film made fantastic use of it’s 3D, and was well worth the increased price, and slightly decreased vividness. Set in a dystopian future where 800 Million people live in a gigantic city, Mega City One, whilst the surrounding area is a wasteland. The only thing keeping the Law in Mega City One are the Judges, police officers who also serve as Judge, Jury and executioner, and Judge Dredd just happens to be the baddest Judge in the city. Karl Urban grimaces his way through a fantastic performance, never takes his helmet off, never talks in anything less than a snarl, Dredd is a complete badass. The story revolves around, Dredd and a rookie, Anderson (Olivia Thrilby), a psychic mutie, who is having her trial by fire in the mean blocks of the city. Investigating 3 gangland murders in one mega block, the Judges’ run fowl of Ma Ma (Lena Headley) a drug kingpin who runs all the Slo-Mo in the city. Dredd and Anderson are about to have a very bad day as the whole block is turned against them, and backup can not get through. Luckily Dredd is hard as nuts.

The many Slo-Mo scenes in the film are spectacular, as we go into the Slo-Mo junkies perspective, the 3D paid off during these scenes. The story is simple, but effective. The acting is strong, the violence is super harsh, and it is truly refreshing to see an 18/R rated movie that isn’t a horror film. I loved Dredd, it was up there with some of my favourite films this year. Now  haven’t read a lot of Dredd comics wise, but am aware that this is a very close representation of the comics, Dredd fans will I’m sure, be over the moon at this film, and anyone else should still give it a go anyway. It is also refreshing that there is no love interest, even though Anderson is very attractive, Dredd couldn’t give a shit, all he cares about is The Law. This film is a breath of fresh air, even though it has a simple story, it needs to be seen, because I want sequels.

Lawless is the story of one family, The Bondurrants, a family that has the reputation of being genuinely immortal, or at least extremely tough, in Prohibition era Virginia. The family has run a small, yet successful moonshine business, thanks to Tom Hardy’s elder brother, who is basically Bane without a mask, Jason Clarke, irresponsible, but still tough middle brother, and Shia Lebeuf’s younger, not so tough brother. The film shows the trials and tribulations of the family as the city encroaches on their business, with Guy Pearce’s Deputy causing problems and turning the town against them.

All the cast are excellent, yes even Shia Lebeuf, who apart from Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, has put in strong performances in many films, and continues to do so here. Guy Pearce plays bad guy duties, with an off kilter Deputy Rakes, and Gary Oldman has a tiny but brilliant performance as Floyd Banner, a big city gangster. Tom Hardy is the star though. At first barely understandable, Hardy infuses Forrest Bondurrant with a quiet rage, his movements are slight, hardly talking, but is body language screams menace, you would not want to fuck with this guy. I happen to love prohibition era gangster movies, and this is a slightly different take on the usual Al Capone tommy gun madness, although, there is plenty of gun play on display. Not quite as epic as films such as The Untouchables, but I enjoyed it far more than Public Enemies. Great Sunday afternoon entertainment, highly recommended.

I think that’s enough for this week, and so I bid you farewell and adieu, which reminds me, you should really check out JAWS on Blu Ray, a thing of beauty, pure unadulterated beauty.

All Geek To Me’s Geek Olympics: Final Round

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello Geek Sport’s fans, and welcome to another, slightly delayed, post covering the greatest Geek Character’s competing in a series of events, loosely based on Olympic sports. You can read the first article here, and the second here. So without further a do, here we go…

HAMMER THROW

Thor, The Hammer Bros. Timmy Mallet, Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, M.C. Hammer.

Now this event has been seriously mis-booked by the Geek Olympics’ organisers, oh, that would be me, never mind then, on with the fun. The Hammer Throw is a simple enough event, pick up the hammer, and throw it as far as you can. Beloved 80’s TV Children’s entertainer Timmy Mallet steps up to the plate, struggles to pick up the hammer, twists around, and flings it wildly, behind him. He scores a mighty throw of -2m. Oh dear. Next up The Hammer Bros from Super Mario Bros step to the plate, pick up the hammer and proceed to throw it in a high arc, straight up, and straight down, but being turtle things, perhaps they don’t fully understand the rules. They score 4m, an improvement, but not much of one.

Next up, Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, who despite his name, has never actually thrown a Hammer. He has put people in figure four leg locks though, and he proceeds to drag M.C. Hammer, proving that you can indeed ‘touch this’, in the middle of the stadium and tries to apply the submission move. Unfortunately for ‘The Hammer’, M.C. Hammer is too legit. Too legit to quit, and as he is wearing frankly ridiculous parachute pants, the figure four is ineffective, M.C. Hammer breaks free and runs off. Greg is shamed and arrested by Green Lantern Security. That leaves Thor. He has brought his own Hammer, which he throws, and it keep going and going and going. Unfortunately, it comes back to his hand. Thor scores 0m. Gold Medal goes to The Hammer Bros. with a mighty 4m.

RUNNING

Flash, Quicksilver, Sonic, Superman.

Everyone seems to love the 100m and stuff like that. Personally I can’t see it. 9.65 secs and it’s all over. So this race will be from the starting point in our Geek Olympic Stadium here in Cardiff, all the way around the world, and back to the stadium. The contestants line up, eagerly awaiting the starter pistol. BOOM! The shot is fired and everyone is off. 9.65 secs later Flash crosses the finish line. Oh. Gold Medal Flash.

ARCHERY

Katniss Everdean, Merida, Robin Hood, The Green Arrow, Hawkeye.

You all know the classic way archery contests are held, same deal here, everyone lines up, and its the person who hits the bullseye most wins. Simple really. Hawkeye goes first, he lines up an arrow, steadies himself and fires. The arrow hits the target, and explodes, destroying the next persons target too. The Green Arrow is pissed. He takes out his arrow, lines up and fires one straight at Hawkeye. Luckily its a boxing glove arrow, it knocks Hawkeye out cold, but with no target to hit, Arrow is shit out of luck.

Robin Hood is fully in flirting mode with both Katniss and Merida, which is frankly, well, a bit dodgy, are they even of age yet? Anyway, so entranced is he with both maidens, he fires wild and misses his target. The fact that he is a cartoon fox didn’t really help matters to be honest either. But there we are. It seems Gold is going to the fairer sex today. Katniss and Merida take turns in firing arrows, both hitting bullseye after bullseye. The deadlock is broken however, when Merida suggest they try to see who is the best an horse archery. She is. And she wins. Katniss is forced to go home empty handed, home to her weird Lady Gaga inspired Capitol City. Gold goes to Merida.

WRESTLING/BOXING/MMA/JUDO/KARATE BASICALLY FUCKING SOMEONE UP

Hulk, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Thing, Jason Statham, Bruce Lee, Rocky, Mr. T, Rowdy Roddy Pipper, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, Andre The Giant, The Rock, Wolverine, Deadpool, Chewbacca, Hagrid, Legolas, Batman, Jon Matrix, Ivan Drago, Indiana Jones, Frankenstein’s Monster, The Wolfman, Bigfoot, Conan, Khal Drogo, A Predator, An Alien and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

This event is basically just a Royal Rumble Event to see who is the hardest Mofo in the universe. I’m not even going to attempt to try an describe the chaos that went down in this event. All super powers, all weapons are allowed, no rules apart from, when you get thrown over the ropes, your out, or if you die in the ring, your out. Simple right. All participants start in the, frankly, massive ring. This goes on for hours, and what initially seemed like a brilliant idea, has become a nightmare. Hours pass, and finally two contestants are left, Jason Statham and Batman. Clearly the two hardest people in the known universe, and the best two at beating the shit out of people.

There can only be one winner though. Both have never been beaten, but Batman is just slightly better, sorry Jason. Batman smashes his opponents face through the mat, and throws him over the ropes, simple, but effective. Gold Medal, and award for best person at fighting ever, Batman. Was there ever any doubt?

With that, our All Geek To Me’s Geek Olympics comes to an end. Thanks for reading. Catch you soon.

Geek Olympics: Round 2: Events of an Aquatic Nature

By @hmsbeefnuts

 

It was with some trepidation that I decided to start writing a second Geek Olympics article, for the first one was a bit of a marathon in its own right. However, I thought a more slimmed down version would a) not be so arduous to write, and b) be a hell of a lot easier to read. As such then, I will present a few events per article, and not go into such details, because as with sport, the only real information anyone needs is the result. On with the sports.

 

FISHING

 

I don’t know if fishing is a sport or not, seems really boring to me, but then, that’s how I feel about most sports, so I guess it could be. It is included here as an added event to an aquatic themed round of our Geek Olympics. The field of competition is quite sparse for this event as there are only 3 competitors, Bubba, from Forrest Gump, Quint, from JAWS, and Link from The Legend of Zelda series. As this is an exciting event, the fish species chosen for the fishing is Megaladon, an ancient and gigantic species of Great White Shark.

This obviously puts Link and Bubba at an extreme disadvantage, and Bubba is almost instantly killed by the great monster. Link lasts a little longer, in part thanks to his skilled use of a hook-shot and boomerang, but in the end, experience and obsession wins the day. Quint sticks seventeen barrels in the leviathan and starts to tow the beast in, the taxidermy man is going to have a heart attack when he sees what Quint brought him. Gold Medal Winner Quint. Link lives to fight another day. Bubba is buried at sea. On to the next event!!

 

SAILING

 

My games, my rules, and this means that any competitor who has previously died, can come back to life (from the use of Ras Al Ghul’s Lazarus Pits or something). Thus in the sailing, Cpt. Jack Sparrow is back, alongside Link, Argus (the Argonaut), and The Dread Pirate Roberts. The sailing takes place on a course filled with shrieking eels, sea monsters, and of course, the mighty Kraken. Sails are set, and a mighty conch shell is sounded, it’s time to race! The Black Pearl, The Argo, The King of Red Lions and The Revenge take it in turns to trade the lead back and forth. Link, once again at a disadvantage due to his smaller boat, gets taken out early by a swarm of shrieking eels, better luck next time little guy. The Black Pearl and The Revenge take a strong lead, due mainly to the fact they have more sails than The Argo, however, the race is not done yet.

 

As they reach the half way point, The Argo is suddenly lifted into the air by mighty hands, it seems Posiedon has taken pity on the crew of the Argo, and sweeping both The Pearl and The Revenge away with his other hand, he places The Argo firmly in the lead. With a mighty blow of wind, The Argo crosses the finish line first, The Pearl, a close second is hampered by some Kraken trouble, Whilst The Revenge cuts its losses and makes it’s way back to Florin for repairs. Gold Medal Winner, The Argo!!! NEXT!!

 

SWIMMING

The big one, in aquatic terms anyway.  A straight up freestyle swimming race in a standard Olympic pool, nothing fancy here, except the competitors of course. The line up looks spectacular, Aquaman, Namor The Submariner, Tarzan, Merman (from He-Man), Super Mario, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Excitement is at a fever pitch as the race is about to begin, that is until Aquaman and Namor have a bit of a disagreement about who is the real King of Atlantis. A fist fight breaks out, Green Lantern Corps security is called in, and both are disqualified. This leaves the field, or pool, very much open.

The race starts and the remaining competitors leap into the water. Creature and Merman take an early lead with Tarzan in third and portly Mario bringing up the rear. That is, and perhaps unsurprisingly by the way all these other races etc. have gone, Mario, in last place does something that we can not condone here at All Geek To Me. Mario reaches into his pocket, pulls out a power star, and the rest, as they say, is history. He speeds to the front, flashing all the way, and wins easily. Gold Medal Winner Mario!! In the drug testing afterwards however, Mario is disqualified as his urine is found to have copious amounts of illegal mushrooms in it. When added to the Star Man, it is clear that Mario is a dirty drug cheat. Stripped of the title, the Gold Medal goes to second place The Creature From The Black Lagoon. It is a dark day for the Geek Olympics…

 

On that note, this round comes to a close, see you next time sports fans.

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello friends, come in, sit down, ice cold glass of Vimto? Welcome to another edition of Wednesday Whimsy, with me Hmsbeefnuts. In this weeks exciting episode… well, I haven’t really planned anything to be honest. I’m writing this on Tuesday morning, the day before I need to post this up, and as I type, I have literally no idea what word will be formed on my laptops screen next, how exciting! Lets just see how it goes shall we?

This month I have not been to the cinema too often, mainly due to the lack of decent films that came between The Amazing Spider-Man and The Dark Knight Rises. I did see The Amazing Spider-Man again, and I didn’t hate it as much the second time, although, it was still a pale comparison to the awesome Sam Raimi films, yes, even Spider-Man 3. I obviously saw The Dark Knight opening day, but only in boring normal vision, I had to watch it again in IMAX. I was not disappointed. A second viewing of the film confirmed my feelings about it, and an the IMAX-ness made me fall in love with it all over again. All round top dude Chris Antista (GamesRadar, Laser Time, Cape Crisis etc.) said that the IMAX ‘shook his balls’ and I have to agree with the sentiment. The sound, the picture, can only be described as ball shakingly good, and ladies, I’m sure it shakes other body parts too, so you have no excuse not to see it, you will not regret it.

For me, Bane is the best villain to appear in a Batman movie. In the comics it’s still Joker, and Heath Ledgers performance will go down in history as amazing, but Tom Hardy’s Bane is a tour de force, being the only enemy capable of going toe to toe with The Bat, but also a match for his brains. What Nolan did with Bane is exemplary, and The Dark Knight Trilogy is now surely in the top three trilogies of all time, perhaps even the greatest. I know a few people have a problem with the portrayal of Batman in the latest film, that there is no way that Batman would give up his crusade on crime, and whilst I agree with the point, I’d like to add my own take on it. The movies should be seen as an Elseworlds tale, they are not comic cannon, but more in line with Batman Earth One, or Gotham By Gaslight. They are one persons take on the Batman Mythos, and I think that Nolan’s take is a very interesting slightly alternative version of Batman.

Did I mention Catwoman? I guess not. Wow, Anne Hathaway was so awesome as Selina Kyle, the way she went from frightened screaming girl to total badass in a few scenes was amazing, and THAT suit. I was never a fan of Tim Burton’s Batman Returns, but Michelle Pfiefer was hot in the cat suit. Anne Hathaway blows her out of the water. Hathaway looks amazing in the suit, and a few scenes where she is riding the Batpod have made a, hmm, marked impression on me, but it’s her attitude that makes her the sexiest character in any movie thus far this year, sorry Black Widow, you got schooled by the mistress of hotness. Selina Kyle is firmly one of the best things about TDKR.

So, where does The Dark Knight Rises fit in to the trilogy, in bestestness? I still like Begins the best, but  really think Rises is a close second, with a very close third going to Dark Knight. All in all, Christopher Nolan has achieved what few others have been able to, a near perfect trilogy, bravo Sir, standing ovation. I would even be interested in following the story further, even though…well, I don’t want to say too much, but a fourth film would still be worth seeing, at least I think so.

The other film I saw recently was the fantastic Ted. I saw this with a big crowd of friends, and this really is the type of film you want to see with the people you like best. Really funny, very reminiscent of a good Family Guy episode, which is obvious really, but it is better than any Family Guy episode I can remember. Seth McFarlane is a film maker with class. The soundtrack is very pleasant, big band inspired, the direction tight and smooth. The cast, a mix of McFarlane voice cast members is great, and once again, Mark Wahlberg proves that he is best when he is bringing the funny. A few amazingly funny cameos, and some absolutely brilliant, if close to the knuckle jokes. My friend Lucy and I laughed our asses off all the way through. One problem though. Joel McHale. I love Community, but this guy is really getting on my nerves, I cant stand him. He is the shittest thing on Community, and the shittest thing in Ted, however, he does not ruin a fine, funny film.

Anyone else get goose bumps over the trailer for The Hobbit? Skyfall too. It seems that 2012 will be one of, if not THE, greatest years for Geek Cinema, absolutely brilliant so far, it truly is a golden age of geekdom. The fact that The Hobbit is now set to be a trilogy fills me with joy. I can’t wait to see what Jackson has cooked up for us, what are we going to see in this new trip to Middle Earth?

Right, that’s it for the time being, I’m off to finish No Man’s Land, or Lego Batman 2, or finally watch John Carter, or Conan, or Predator all on Blu Ray. Time, I need more time…

TOP TOYS: PART TWO

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello toy fans, and welcome back to Top Toys, part two. Last time we looked at some of my favourite childhood toys, Transformers, Turtles, Dino-Riders, WWF and Ghostbusters. A pretty great toy box worth of stuff, that I have very fond memories of. This time, we will go back in time to the first major toys craze I was part of, and forward in time to toys I was ‘too old’ to have, but wanted anyway. It is such a shame that most kids today think toys are for babies, and it’s all about video games. I know, I’ve asked some. Toys stimulate the imagination, and are great fun, lets hope that kids are still playing with Batman and Transformers a hundred years from now. So enough rambling, lets get involved with the toys!!!

HE-MAN

He-man was my first toy love. I had a load of He-man figures, and vehicles and monsters and play-sets, my favourite, was He-man on Battlecat. I loved Battlecat so much, still do. Who wouldn’t want to ride a gigantic green and yellow tiger into battle? The toys themselves all had the same body sculpts, to save money, but each had different accessories and head sculpts. The TV show was basically just an advert for the toys, which is no bad thing really. I can remember having horrendous ear ache whilst being in Cardiff with my Mum, and taking cover in Toys R Us, whilst a very loud and scary thunder storm happened all around us. To ease my pain, Mum bought me Buzz Off, a bee themed hero, awesome. I also remember for my birthday, picking up the Castle Greyskull play-set, and having to go to my Grandmothers, so excited, but could not play with it because it didn’t come with any figures, I had to wait till I got home. It was torture.

MASK

MASK, was pretty cool. A group of guys and gals, who fought the evil Venom with cars, trucks and bikes, that turned into other things like tanks, helicopters and boats, all armed to the teeth. My favourite MASK vehicle was a green motor bike that turned into a helicopter, so awesome, it is beyond my power to describe. Did I mention that MASK had their base in a hollowed out Volcano? Now you know. MASK figures were tiny, similar to the Dino-Rider humans/aliens, but that just meant they could interact with each other. Tooled up Dinos Vs. Transforming cars? Yes please.

LEGO

For it’s versatility alone, Lego is probably the greatest toy ever invented. Your options are only limited by your imagination. But, if you don’t fancy building your own entertainment, the Lego sets are some of the greatest things ever made. When I was young, we didn’t have Superhero Lego, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, Harry Potter or the like. We had Knights and Pirates, and these were my favourite sets to collect. Pirate Lego had brilliant ships and bases to build, and Knights had Castles and Robin Hood!! The sets I saw recently looked awesome, kids are spoiled these days I guess. My favourite Lego set was the Pirate Ship. It was so cool. The fact it can all work together with other Lego universes and sets is such a stroke of genius. Lego is awesome, and I want some right now.

JURASSIC PARK

Jurassic Park blew my mind, it is one of my most fond memories of seeing a film on an opening weekend. It was chaos at the old Cardiff ODEON that Saturday night I went to see it with the family, the kind of organised chaos I have only really experienced at Disneyworld. Everyone was buzzing. The film obviously was great, so good in fact that I wanted the next day to go immediately to a toy shop to buy every Jurassic Park toy I could lay my hands on. The Dinosaurs were beautifully sculpted and they looked awesome. The T-Rex in particular. I wish I had all these toys, but I have none, all gone to the great toy box in the sky…

MARVEL

I’ve always been a fan of superheroes, but apart from a a few Batman toys, and the odd Spider-Man, I never had a large collection of Comic Heroes. However, on my recent trip to Toys R Us, I noticed a vast selection of 3.5 inch Marvel Universe figures, and I couldn’t resist buying the four main Avengers. Why not? They look good on my shelf. Iron Man, Hulk, Captain America (WWII version) and Thor, they are lovely little things, well sculpted with great articulation and accessories. I had to stop myself at the four, I could have gone on and on, but I have bills to pay. These toys however are fantastic, with all kinds of famous and obscure characters being transformed into figure form. I know if I was a kid, I’d be all over these.

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY

By @hmsbeefnuts

 

Welcome to another weekly dose of whimsy, prescribed every Wednesday by yours truly. This week, I shall only deliver a small dose, as I am rather busy with work commitments. But we shall see how far we get. This week has been a sad one for the Geek community as a whole, and the Batman Geek community in particular. I refuse to give any publicity to anyone who commits an atrocity such as the one that happened last Friday, and it sickens me that the news agencies are seeking to exaggerate matters by referring to this sick individual as ‘The Batman Killer’ or ‘The Joker’. Please refrain from using such phrases, it only adds to this guys infamy.

There was of course very happy news in the world of Batman too. The Dark Knight Rises is a fantastic end to Christopher Nolan’s trilogy. I will not review it here, at least not in any detail, until a few more people get to see it. I know Geeky Gem has yet to watch it, as soon as she does, I will write up some more detailed thoughts. I’m happy to say I thought it was fantastic, all the cast were amazing, the storyline was strong, and thankfully I avoided spoilers, which I urge you to do, as at times I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. A very satisfying end to a very satisfying trilogy. I do not envy the guy who has to reboot the Bat now, but I am looking forward to the results. My vote would be to go for a less realistic universe, one in which Superman, Green Lantern, Flash and Wonder Woman can co-exist with Batman, because I want a Justice League Movie.

The Olympics starts on Friday, and to be honest I couldn’t give less of a shit. However, look out for a special series of Geek Olympics that we will be featuring on All Geek To Me, as soon as I can find the time to write them. Time is becoming a real problem at the moment and I am struggling to fit everything in. I had to quit my regular Sunday article at GameNTrain.com due to time constraints, a shame, as I did enjoy writing solely about video games, even if I was having trouble thinking of stuff to write about. I honestly considered The Top 5 Shoes in Gaming. Yeah, I was scraping the barrel. I would like to say thanks to everyone for giving me the opportunity over at GameNTrain, and Eric in particular. Always helpful, always supportive, good people.

I am currently reading Batman : No Man’s Land, which I am enjoying very much, I really need to make a dent in my comics pile, it is getting stupidly huge. I am also still reading Hunting The American Werewolf by Linda S. Godfrey, and yes I have been reading it for far too long. Once again, time is a factor here.

Games wise, I have been having a go at playing Lego Batman 2, and although I enjoy it in parts, it shares the problems that all the Lego games do, i.e., it has an awful camera system, it is very frustrating, and at times down right unfathomable, there are parts that are so obtuse as to be ridiculous. It is all made worthwhile however, by the fact that when you play as Superman, the John Williams theme plays when you fly, and you can shoot down baddies with your laser eyes!!

August is almost here, and we seem to have hit a bit of a movie low point. Most of the big action blockbusters are already out, and there seems like there is nothing really spectacular out  until The Hobbit in December. Of course, I will always find something to watch, practically every week, but all but one of the films I was really looking forward too this year have come out, roll on December.

Well that’s going to have to be it for one week, I have work to do.