Wednesday Whimsy; Caelrona at the Renaissance Faire

By: Caelrona

Hiya All! I can’t believe it is already Wednesday again! Well, I don’t know about ya’ll but I was busy this weekend. As some of you may know, I live in the United States; specifically I live in Arizona. Once a year our uh, fair(?) state has a Renaissance Festival. This Renaissance Faire is huge, sprawling and packed with many shows and fun things to do (and tons of way to spend so much money. So. Much. Money.) My friends and I decided a while ago to attend, and last weekend was dedicated to the Renaissance Faire. We spent both Saturday and Sunday from, sunup to sundown, walking about in medieval dress. Our feet hurt, our ribs hurt (cinchers and corsets are bloody painful!), hell even our scalps hurt. But we had tons of fun, and I thought that I’d share that with you as best I could through a blog. I mean, what is geekier than a Renaissance Festival?!

Jousting

One of the main things we spent nearly all of Saturday keeping track of was the jousting tournament. There were three different jousting events, all tied into one another, spread throughout the day which basically meant a crap tan of walking for us as we’d see one, then walk about the other shops and shows until the next joust and have to walk all the way back. There were four knights jousting, whose sections could be sat in to cheer for. We ended up in the section for the rider in amethyst. Unfortunately, we picked the loser of the tournament to cheer for, which was a letdown, but he was a good sport and spent the remaining time in the arena talking to everyone in his section of the stands and letting kids pet his horse.

The Tortuga Twins

My friends saw two of their shows; whilst I was only able to see one. During the first I was getting my hair braided at one of the stalls. However, the show I did get to see was hilarious. It also was apparently their only rated R show. It was definitely adult humor; several families got up and left within the first few moments (although why they were there that long I can’t imagine; they loudly proclaimed several times that it was an R rated show.) Several random audience members were accosted, embarrassed and mildly molested during the show. Well, I say mildly, but…

Zilch the TorySteller

Zilch the TorySteller is.. oh, I don’t even know how to describe him. He’s hilarious. From his website; ‘My name is Terry Foy, although you might know me better as Zilch the Storyteller. Er, ah, Torysteller. The stories I tell have a bit of a twist to them. I spalk in toonerisms. Ah, I talk in spoonerisms. Citching one’s swonsonants fack and borth Worning your Turds around. It’s serfectly pimple. You just have to tink thaster than you falk.’ Yeah. Try reading that a couple times and see if you get the idea. He talks that way the entire time, telling various ‘TairyFales’ like ‘Rindercella and the Stoo Tugly Epsisters,’ ‘Rittle Led Hiding Rood,’ and Spilliam Wakshear’s ‘Jomeo and Ruliet.’ Also, if that weren’t enough to catch your attention he goes off on random tangents to tell awesomely nerdy jokes and small stories. Like the time he had a group of Klingons and a group of Storm Troopers having a little inter-genre mixer at one of his shows, and one of the Storm Troopers was wearing a kilt! Or when he had a front row of Doctor’s from Doctor Who, and they kept getting excited and squeaking; ‘We’re in chronological order!’ This man was so funny, we could hardly breathe most of his show.

Tartanic

I’ve saved the best for last. Now you might be wondering; what is Tartanic? The simple answer; Tartanic is a band. They are the most interesting band I’ve ever come across, and one showing had me hooked; I am now a fan for life. The long answer? Dressed in kilts and sunglasses, Tartanic gives its audiences a barrage of sound from not one but two Highland Bagpipes, and three percussionists. Imagine one dancer, six drums, six drones, 18 notes, fast fingers, high comedy, flying bagpipes, taste-defying stunts and scorching hot music played at over 120 beats per minute with driving speed and high-volume, all brought to you by five men without pants. Yeah, they are pretty damn awesome. Little ol’ me with my pirate’s heart of gold even shelled out 15 clams to buy their latest album. That’s right; they are so amazing they got me to PAY for music. We saw 3 of their shows between the two days we spent there; mainly because I kept dragging my friends to them. What can I say? I love me some men in kilts with bagpipes and big drums.

 

So there you have it! That is how I spent my weekend; running around a huge dusty portal back in time and getting accosted by various people who thought I worked for the faire. Honestly, just because a girl is wearing period clothing doesn’t mean she’s going to sell you a corset people. But anyway, I had an amazing time, spent way too much money and walked so much I still hurt from it; it was fantastic!

Until next time,

Caelrona – signing off! ❤

Hmsbeefnuts Returns With His Top 10 Films of Last Year (Better late than never)

By @hmsbeefnuts

 

Hello, I’m back. I haven’t written anything for a while, apart from an attempt at a children’s story, which is still a work in progress. However, I have been very busy with that thing called life, it’s been far too busy as of late to write much of anything. Well, I thought it was high time that I did something to contribute to this blog I started with Geeky Gem, before she thinks I have abandoned her for good, I havent by the way. So last year was a great time to be a movie geek, we had a few films that many geeks didn’t think would ever happen, but were delivered to the screen in fantastic and amazing ways. I enjoyed many films this year, although I didn’t see as many as I would normally have done, I still got more than my fair share in. So standard Top 10 Time is the order of the day… here we go.

 

10. Prometheus

Lots of people didn’t like this Alien Prequel, but I liked it a lot, in fact, I’d rather watch this again than Alien (not Aliens though, obviously). I liked that we didn’t get all the answers, I liked that it left things hanging somewhat. Good special effects, good mature Sci-Fi. Give it another chance, and don’t view it as a direct prequel to Alien, and more of a film set in the same universe, that may answer some questions, but poses far more.

 9. John Carter

 

Again, not a film many people seemed to like, but I loved this fun Sci-Fi/fantasy film. Great effects, a lot of fun, monsters, aliens and fighting, all a growing geek needs. It’s like Star Wars before Star Wars was invented. Probably never going to see a sequel, and it is such a shame.

 

 8. The Grey

 

 

Liam Neeson has to survive a plane crash, freezing Alaskan temperatures, snow, ice and a pack of hungry wolves who are pissed off at humans being in their territory. Although this film wasn’t Wolf Puncher The Movie, as the trailers seemed to suggest, it ended up being so much better. Really worth checking out.

 

 7. Dredd

 

Wasn’t really on my radar, but I absolutely loved this new take on Judge Dredd. Uber violent, loyal to the comic and very stylish, in a low key way. I would love to see a sequel to this. Karl Urban was great as Dredd, and in any other year, this would have been the best comic book movie, but this year was stellar.

 

 6. Cabin in the Woods

 

 

I’m not even going to talk much about this, because you must see this unspoiled. If you like horror of any type, you should give this a watch. An awesome film.

 

5. Skyfall

 

 

A great end to the first Daniel Craig Bond Trilogy. Not quite as good as Casino Royale in my mind, but it was excellent none the less.

 

 

4. Jack Reacher

 

 

Didn’t really expect to like this film as much as I did, but I loved it. I have a lot of time for Cruise, and his Jack Reacher was fantastic. Made me want to check out the books, so job done there. A gripping thriller, with great action, more Reacher please.

 

3. The Dark Knight Rises

 

 

This could easily have been my favourite film of the year, and it could easily change place with number 2. However, I place this as number 3, simply because the spectacle of number 2 won out. This is the end of a brilliant, outstanding trilogy. Lots of people have said that this wasn’t true to the character of Batman, and I can see that point. However, I like to view the Nolan trilogy as kind of an Elseworlds tale. It seems impossible to imagine a better, realistic take on Batman, simply brilliant.

 

2. The Avengers

 

 

I never thought it would happen, and then I never thought it would be this good. The Hulk was the stand out star, but the beauty was everyone got to shine. This was no easy task to film, and Marvel and Joss Whedon did a miraculous job. Phase one is over, on to phase two, I can not wait.

 

1. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey

 

 

 

My personal favourite film of the year. I love Middle Earth, have done since my Dad read me The Hobbit when I was 5. I loved the books, loved the films, and was in no doubt that I would love The Hobbit. Well, I was right wasn’t I. This film was magnificent, yes it did take a while to get going, but it needed that time. Time spent in the Shire is never wasted. It felt like meeting old friends, slipping back into a comfortable state of amazingness. I could watch this film endlessly, everything was wonderful and just as I imagined. Thank you Mr. Jackson. There will always be part of me that will wonder what Del Toro’s Hobbit would have been like, but overall, I’m glad PJ got to do this, it ties everything up with the Trilogy much better.

12 Movies of Christmas: Rare Exports

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello friends, and welcome to a rare blog, by yours truly. As a special event type thing over this most festive of months, we here at All Geek To Me have decided to look at some of our favourite festive films, 12 in all, in tribute to Santa, Little Baby Jesus and presents. I love Christmas, and this year is turning out to be a good one so far. It’s amazing how the introduction of a four year old child can liven up Christmas time for someone who has had a Scrooge like existence for the last 2 years. One of the best things about spending time with said child is the wealth of Christmas films that we can watch with him. However, my first choice for AGTM’s 12 Movies of Christmas will not be on the agenda for our festive film fests. This choice is a great little Finnish film that is both full of Christmas spirit, and horror, Rare Exports…

Rare Exports is a great little film. The basic premise is thus; On Christmas Eve in Finland, Santa Claus is unearthed in an archaeological dig. Soon after, children start disappearing, leading a boy and his father to capture Santa and, with the help of fellow hunters, they look to sell him back to the corporation that sponsored the dig. And then there’s Santa’s elves, who are determined to free their leader… (Thanks IMDB!!). Sounds pretty cool right?

Well the Santa in this film isn’t giving anyone a Miracle on any street, let alone 34th, and his nice list seems to have gone missing, this St. Nick is very much all about punishing the naughty, so be good, for goodness sake. I really liked this take on the Santa Claus Mythos, it might not be for everyone, but I would recommend giving it a try, as long as you are cool with subtitles, and naked old men.

Anyway, that’s it for this installment, I’ll be back soon to write about another Christmas Movie, maybe Elf or something, well worth looking forward too though I’m sure. Merry Christmas!!

Movie of the Month – December 2012

By Geeky Gem and @hmsbeffnuts

Welcome to our last movie of the month for 2012, its been a fantastic year for us here at All Geek To Me, as we will soon be turning one years old. It’s a very exciting time. However this is not why we are here, we are here to talk about our last Movie picks for 2012, now I know this may sound a little sad but when I heard this movie was being made there was now way it wasnt going to be pick for the month. So I bring you The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey.

I loved the Lord of the Rings and think Peter Jackson did an excellent job bringing that story to the silver screen, so when I heard he was going back to the star of te story with The Hobbit I was one very excited Geek. With many of the cast returning for this movie, which is now to become a trilogy I cant wait to see the book i read in High School come to life on the big screen.

For those who don’t know The Hobbit is about Bilbo Baggins who is a curious Hobbit, that journeys to the Lonely Mountain with a vigorous group of Dwarves to reclaim a treasure stolen from them by the dragon Smaug.

Now for those who know me the Dragon isn’t the only reason I want to see this movie, I want to see Jackson take us back to the start. I hope this movie is as good as Jackson’s other movies.

As always here is the trailer for you to enjoy.

Geeky Gem

Really? You want me to try and think of another film that you should see? Go see The Hobbit. See it twice if it’s good. Hopefully I will be seeing it a lot. I saw Fellowship 6 times at the cinema. Go see The Hobbit. That is all, Merry Christmas.

@hmsbeefnuts

Movie Review Round Up

By @hmsbeefnuts

With all the Autumnal Terror that has been going on here recently I have been neglectful of keeping those interested in my opinion on films, informed of what films I have seen. Now I’m not really sure why anyone in particular would be interested in what my opinion on any given film is, but that is not going to stop me from writing about it. As it has been quite some time I can not remember, or be bothered to look up, what films I have actually written about, but I am pretty certain that the following films have not been written about by me. If I have doubled up, I apologise, perhaps you can see if my thoughts have changed on the film, but as I’m pretty sure I haven’t written anything about these films; that little game will have to remain merely a dream. A fair few Halloween type films this time around, obviously, and a good amount of films to write about too, so lets crack on shall we?

LOOPER

Lots of people have said Looper is great. I am not one of them. I didn’t really see what everyone was making such a massive fuss about. It was well acted, had decent action, a decent premise, but just didn’t really do anything too amazing for me. The major problem was JGL, not his performance, which is always great, but the stupid CGI makeup job they did to his face to make him look like a young Bruce Willis. It just made him look very weird, and it was quite distracting, because he looked so weird. We know what Bruce looked like young, and we know what JGL looks like, it doesn’t matter that they look nothing alike, audiences are willing to suspend their disbelief, instead, this weird thing is on-screen and I didn’t care for it much. Apart from that, the film was fine, just didn’t rock my world. Emily Blunt is sexy as hell though, so extra points for that. Worth seeing, but not worth all the fuss.

TAKEN 2

Lots of hate for this film. I found it alright for what it was. Nowhere near as good as the first, but Liam Neeson is always watchable and some of the deaths were entertaining. The picture I have chosen for this film perfectly illustrates how I feel about the film. Ice cream is fine, but when you go in expecting a steak, it is disappointing. Look at how happy Neeson is in that picture. He should never be that happy in a sequel to Taken, ever. Even if he is fucking Jean Grey and his daughter is safe.

HOTEL TRANSYLVANIA

I saw this film with my Lady friend and her son. He is 4 years old. We all liked it a lot. I liked the references to my beloved Universal Monsters, and the bigfoot cameo’s, he loved the colours and the ‘zany’ comedy. The story is typical of such films, over protective Dad, daughter fancies a stranger, in this case a human, and there is even a ‘race to the airport’ scene. So in no way original. But it amused all of us for an afternoon, and I would watch it again. Loved the Wolfman and Frankenstein characters, all in all worth taking a small child too.

MADAGASCAR 3

Back to the cinema with said Lady friend and small child, and erghhh. Great flaming Zeus on a pegasus, this film was utter shit. It moved at breakneck speed. I hated all the characters, especially the Lemur King, I would watch Madagascar 4: Trip To The Abattoir just to see all these characters die in horrible, horrible ways. I have seen all these fucking movies for some reason, and I fucking hate them all. Small child however, loved it and wanted to see it again. I might have another trip to see this at some point, if we can’t think of anything else to do on a rainy weekend. Please let it stay dry. Circus Afro may be the worst thing I have ever had to endure. Just awful. I know these films aren’t aimed at me, and every other child I know loved the shit out of it, but really, go see Hotel Transylvania instead.

SKYFALL

This was the film I was most looking forward too last month, and it was fantastic. Daniel Craig is for me the best Bond, he brings the nastiness of the character to the forefront, just like my second favourite Bond, Timothy Dalton (shitty films, good Bond). I still think Casino Royal is the better movie, but Skyfall is so damn close. At times it felt less like a Bond movie, and more like a great action movie starring James Bond. But the Bondness was their in spades too. Great title sequence, great pre-title sequence, great action, good villain, sexy girls, M, Q, long may the Craig Bond films continue. Only one slight problem, I hated Naomie Harris, just thought she was totally weak in her role, one which will most likely be repeated, so lets try harder next time shall we Naomie? Apart from that, awesome movie. Go see it, but you probably already have.

SINISTER

I saw Sinister with a friend of mine. She was terrified throughout the film. I didn’t really know what to make of it. I jumped, but I was never scared. The movie uses cheap scares for many of its big moments, and whilst there is nothing really wrong with jump scares, they shouldn’t be your only port of call. There were a few nice set pieces in the videos, but the idea behind the film was a bit too ridiculous, something about a Babylonian God who can haunt you through images. It was OK, and delivered one gory and shocking moment, even though it was obvious it was coming. I much prefered the film below.

PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 4

I like the Paranormal Activity films, and I’m not bored of them yet, even though the formula is getting a bit familiar in this fourth one. My favourite of the franchise is a toss up between 2 and 3, and whilst this installment is the worst yet, I still liked it. It advances the story slightly, and makes good use of laptops, and the XBOX Kinect sensor to raise some chills, although nothing is quite as good as the camera mounted on a moving fan scenes from number 3. The main couple, a young girl and her boyfriend, are very likable and I cared for their welfare, and Katie Featherstone is back as the horrible, yet very sexy, demon/***** (censored) next door, and the scares are quite effective. Stay until the end of the credits and see a confusing spanish/mexican flavoured scene that doesn’t make much sense, but is promoting Paranormal Activities Latin flavoured off shoot. I will be watching the inevitable 5th entry, but feel that things need to be changed a little for the next entry. If you liked the first 3, and are not fed up with the concept, it is worth a look, and I enjoyed it.

Monday Musings

By @hmsbeefnuts

As one weekly blog changes hands, another rises up to take Wednesday Whimsy’s place in my writing list. I’m not sure at this point whether this will be a regular blog, or if I will just use the title once in a while, but we shall see how it goes. As I have written elsewhere, my day job no longer allows for me to write whilst at work, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to find time to get any writing done at all, but I shall endure. I am still trying very hard to fit in all sorts of geeky activities, from movies, comics, books and even the occasional video game. In fact, it is about that very subject that I wish to talk about today.

Now I haven’t played a game properly since Skyrim. That was the last time a game fully had my attention, and as one of the greatest games ever made, nothing had really held my attention. But as October rolled into November, and the big Christmas releases began to storm out of the gates, my interest returned. In the last two weeks I have bought 3 Xbox games, that’s more games than I have bought all year, and there are a few more I want before the year is done, as long as my wallet allows. But lets not get ahead of things, the first game I purchased, and the one I have played the most thus far, is Forza Horizon. I do love racing games, and I’ve had a lot of fun with all the Forza series, although I have always been a bit of a Burnout man myself. Forza Horizon is like a wonderful blend of Forza and a more arcadey racer, along the lines of Need For Speed or Burnout, and thus, I am very happy playing it. The graphics are beautiful, all wonderous landscapes, The Rocky Mountains and the surrounding areas are great to drive around. The cars are fantastic looking, and everything visually is stellar. The gameplay which I thought may cause me some problems at first, has proved me wrong. Much like Burnout Paradise, Horizon is based around a huge open world, which you have to drive around to different races etc. I wasn’t in love with this system in Paradise, but in Horizon, I found just driving around a great, and at times quite relaxing experience, with the races adding the thrills and spills in between. I have spent far too many hours racing around Colorado, but I’m loving every second, I literally had to drag myself off it to write this. Forza Horizon is fully recommended to those with a racing bent, absolutely my favourite game so far this year.

The next game I purchased, and it was only last Friday, is WWE 13. I’m loving my wrestling at the moment, and had a lot of fun with WWE 12. I have to say that WWE 13 improves on last years game in every way. The graphics are improved, with the character models simply amazing, especially in the cut scenes, which are used with audio footage of past events, I can actually remember watching the scenes that play out during the campaign, the models are that good. Of course, the big draw this year has to be the Attitude Era mode, which replaces the Road To Wrestlemania mode from last year. Attitude Era takes the player through the greatest era of wrestling, with stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, HHH, Undertaker, Mankind, and of course, the villainous owner of WWE himself Vince McMahon. The roster includes a huge number of Attitude Era legends, and a full roster of current superstars, but it is most fun reliving classic moments like Undertaker vs Mankind in Hell in a Cell, or the Montreal Screwjob. I was surprised that the game is so honest with it’s handling of the Monday Night Wars, with WCW, WWE’s big rival at the time, being given it’s due, and even when something extremely painful happens to a wrestler, the crowd chant ‘ECW’, very surprising and very cool to hear. I would definitely recommend this to any wrestling fan, and make that a must buy if you were a fan during the Monday Night War period. My only criticism would be that sometimes, the events that have to take place during the Attitude Era mode matches are a little vague, it took me a few times to work out what the game wanted me to do at times, but apart from that, this game is most enjoyable.

The last game I purchased, on the same day as WWE 13, hey big spender, was Assassins Creed III. I have been a big fan of all the Assassins Creed games thus far, although I haven’t yet finished Revelations. This is the game I have played the least so far. I think I’ve put in around 2 hours so far, and I have to say, I’m enjoying it. It is very similar to Assassins Creed games past, but if you likes them, I’m sure you will like this. The graphics have had a big overhaul, and everything looks much crisper and prettier. New character Conner plays a bit differently to Ezio or Altair. He is a bigger stronger guy, and his fighting style is more robust and violent, I even DDT’d someone, the developers based his fighting on wrestlers and MMA fighters. The setting of revolutionary America is great so far, and although I have read that some gamers are reporting glitches, as yet, I have not experienced them. I am looking forward to getting further into the game, and with a pretty open social life, at least until mid week, I am expecting I’ll get at least a few more hours in this week.

That’s it for the inaugural Monday Musings. I’ll be back Thursday, and don’t forget Wednesday Whimsy is still around, just written by Caelrona, and not myself. Have a great start to the week.

Autumn Of Terror: Classic Horror Novels

By @hmsbeefnuts

Autumn of Terror keeps on trucking like that big truck from Duel,down the highway of October. Only stopping once a day to deposit a blog and then ever onwards to November. Todays blog takes us back before there was electronic entertainment, before movies, before video games, when people had to read books in order to be transported to different worlds, that, or visit the local Opium Den. Anyway, this intro has become mired in awkward metaphor and strange references. Today, I hope you will enjoy my list of Classic Horror novels that have thrilled and inspired readers for hundreds of years, so lets get our book on shall we?

Dracula by Bram Stoker

I guess this would be the big one, the one most people will know, but it was not the first, and for my money, not the best on this list. Dracula is however, a fantastic read. I have read this book a few times and it always draws me in. If you have never read it, but have seen the numerous movies etc. I would definitely recommend reading the original, as it might be quite different to what you are expecting. Written as a series of journal entries and letters, from different perspectives, the story of the Transylvanian Vampire, who seeks a new home in Britain, and runs afoul of his greatest nemesis Professor Van Helsing, is a stone cold classic gothic horror novel. Sexy, scary, exciting, this book runs at a breakneck pace, particularly at the end. I highly recommend this book if you haven’t read it, and why not read it again, if you already have, it’s almost Halloween after all.

Frankenstein; Or The Modern Prometheus by Mary Shelley

Written during a ghost story contest whilst on holiday with her husband and Lord Byron, Mary Shelley clearly beat both men hands down when it came to hugely successful gothic horror behemoths. The tale of a scientist who wants to create life in his own unique style, Frankenstein is a classic of the horror genre. I will be honest and say that I didn’t initially like this book on the first read, but I gave it another chance, and it clicked for me. I think what I found off-putting at first was it was quite a bit different to what I had imagined it would be from all the films based on the book, I had watched. In the novel, Adam, or the monster, is not a shuffling moaning monster, as in the Universal films, but a scheming and intelligent threat to his creator. The novel may be seen as quite tame now, but must have been very controversial at the time. There are few novels more gothic-y than Frankenstein, and as such, it should be enjoyed on a cold, dark autumn night, whilst the wind blows and the rain pours, next to a roaring fire, in a grand drawing-room.

(The) Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson

This was the first novel on this list that I read, when I was around 9 I think. It scared me, especially the cover of my copy which I could not find, but the painting of a simian looking man, in top hat and cane spotlighted in moonlight. The book itself is the tale of a good scientist who wants to release mans potential, but ends up unleashing mans animalistic murderous side. I suppose the scariest aspect of this novel is the suggestion that everyone has the potential to unleash the scary brutish nature that normally we keep to ourselves, just look at Dr Bruce Banner.

The Hound of The Baskervilles by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle

My personal favourite book on this list, The Hound of the Baskervilles has been read and re-read by me countless times. There is just something about this story that I can’t get enough of. The story concerns the recent death of a Devonshire Lord, seemingly at the hands of a spectral hound, when the new Lord of the manor arrives to take up residence in Baskerville Hall, Sherlock Holmes is called in to offer advice and protection from the hell hound, or other evil forces. I do love detective fiction, and Holmes is the top guy in the field. When Conan Doyle added his love of the paranormal to his most beloved character, it was quite simply dynamite. Nothing would be scarier than being on a moor in the middle of the night and hearing that long mournful howl.

The Lodger by Marie Belloc Lowndes

This book was influenced by the Jack the Ripper murders and concerns a similar serial killer dubbed The Avenger. A strange man moves into a lodging house, who’s owners are down on their luck. He pays his way and suddenly their fortunes turn around, but he keeps odd hours, and acts very strangely. Meanwhile, a series of ghastly murders takes place, who could be responsible for said crimes? Well, obvious really isn’t it? But that does not detract from the greatness of this novel, which is gripping to the last. As I am fascinated by the whole Jack the Ripper mystery, I loved this novel, but I think even if you knew nothing about the Ripper murders, this book is still well worth checking out.

Autumn of Terror: Top 5 Universal Horror Films

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hammer Films are fantastic, if you don’t believe me, check out these five awesome examples of British Gothic amazingness, however… There is only one Daddy in the Horror business, especially when it comes to Monsters. For fans of Horror, Monsters can mean only one name, Universal. Since 1931, Universal Pictures has been the home of Monsters, solidifying the look, and sound, of some characters firmly in the minds of the audience, and creating a few characters themselves. With Dracula, Frankenstein and The Wolf Man, the holy trinity of horror, Universal has always been the place where Horror was taken seriously, mostly, and they delivered many quality films. When you add smaller characters, such as The Mummy, The Creature From The Black Lagoon, The Phantom of the Opera and The Invisible Man, Universal has a feast of high quality black and white horror classics that can not be matched by any studio. Recently released on Blu-ray, The Universal Monsters Collection is a must buy for fans of the genre. These films have never looked so beautiful and although they are no longer scary, the atmosphere can be cut with a knife. Clearly I love these films, and so, I have decided to give you guys a Top 5, so sit back, relax and remember, ‘Even a man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night; may become a wolf, when the wolfsbane blooms, and the autumn moon is bright’.

THE WOLF MAN

The Wolf Man is one of my favourite films of all time. I love it like few others, and for my money, it is the finest Universal Horror Film ever made (JAWS doesn’t count). Lon Chaney Jnr. plays Larry Talbot, with wonderful makeup effects by the peerless Jack Pierce. This film is kind of a Greek tragedy, once Larry is bitten, he is doomed to hurt those he loves, after all, a werewolf instinctively kills those that he loves. Bela Lugosi is great in a small role as a gypsy, Evelyn Ankers is adorable as Larry’s doomed love interest, and Claude Rains is brilliant as Sir John Talbot. However, it is Lon Chaney Jnr who steals the show, as Larry Talbot, he really makes you care about the fate of this doomed everyman. The effects are spectacular for the time, the film is set in Wales (yay) and is endlessly watchable. This film is just brilliant, and should be checked out immediately. I liked the recent remake quite a bit too, even though the CGI werewolf was a bit ropey, but for me, you can’t beat the original.

DRACULA

Universals first horror talkie, Dracula was a revelation and a bit of a scandal at the time. The movie was huge for Universal, and kicked off the whole horror stable. What can be said about Dracula? Well ask any child to do a Dracula impression, and I’m willing to bet that in almost 100 % of times, you get a Bela Lugosi impersonation back. Lugosi isn’t my favourite Dracula, but he set the blue print for all future iterations. The hair, the face, and the voice, all perfect for the Count, and it is no surprise that he is still the gold standard. There are so many good things about this film, the script is great, there are some amazing lines sprouted by Dracula, my favourite being his first encounter with Van Helsing; ‘For one who has not yet lived a single lifetime, you are a wise man, Van Helsing’. The atmosphere is thick and although some say the Spanish Version is a superior film, Lugosi cements this as the better version, at least for me.

CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON

This film came out a few years later than the classic Horror films of the 1930’s and 40’s, but is no less a film for it. Once more, our monster protagonist is stunningly realised for what is ostensibly a rubber suit. An american research crew are travelling up the Amazon, when they come into the territory of the creature, the titular Black Lagoon. Disturbing Gill Man’s habitat and normal everyday life with beautiful bikini clad scientists. Whats a creature to do? He falls for the hot scientist and then the trouble starts. The underwater scenes are beautiful and terrifying. We all fear what lies below the surface of the water, was that a hand, or a weed that brushed our leg? Spielberg has said that this film was an inspiration to him whilst filming JAWS, and there really can’t be higher praise than that can there.

BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN

Considered the best of all the Universal Horror films by many, Bride of Frankenstein is a bona fide classic. Directed by James Whale, who infused the horror with a very black sense of humour, the film is a delight to sit and watch. We get to see Boris Karloff’s Monster grow a little here, talking, and demanding a mate. The bride herself was another visual treat, with the lightning strike hair do and bird like head movements. If you only watch one Universal Horror film, critics say it should be this one, they are wrong, The Wolf Man is a better film, in my view, but this is an amazing piece of cinema. The Frankenstein franchise was Universals cash cow, and this is the finest entry in that franchise, but I would suggest watching the original as well, as it is almost as classic, if it does not quite reach the greatness of it’s sequel. Ghost of Frankenstein is also very good, and it is worth watching all of the Frankenstein saga, as it is worth watching most of the Universal Horror films, as they are always entertaining. Karloff is amazing as the Monster, adding pathos to a role that could easily be a mindless brute. He truly was the King of Universal Horror.

FRANKENSTEIN MEETS THE WOLF MAN

This is the sequel to The Wolf Man, and sees the titular monsters having a bit of a ruck in a ruined castle. This is my favourite of the monster mash up films, as the focus is once again back on my favourite monster, Larry Talbot. Larry is disturbed in his tomb by some luckless grave robbers and disappointed to find he is still alive, he decides to try and find a cure for his affliction with some notorious scientists on the continent. Of course he runs into Frankenstein’s monster, and a monster wrestling match takes place. Lugosi plays the Monster, with Lon Chaney Jnr. reprising his role as The Wolf Man and Maria Ouspenskyaya returning as the gypsy woman Maleva. One of the better sequels to the Universal brilliant originals, this is really worth a look, especially if you loved The Wolf Man.

Autumn of Terror: Scary Ass Television

By Geeky Gem

Here at AGTM, whenever we decide to have a theme that will run for a month, we sit down and have a good think about how to plan the month. We each come up with a list of things we would like to write about, this is how I came up with little blog. We all know that I watch way to much television, it occurred to me that I could use this as I have also watched some scary television. I this blog I shall share 10 really good ones with you, shall we begin?

The Twilight Zone

I used to love this show, I often caught episodes on repeat. One of the many reason’s I think I liked it was due to the fact I found it scarier as it was in black in white. I am not sure why this is but I did, it is at this point I should tell you, I do not scare easily so the shows on this list neer truly made me jump out of my seat but I loved them all the same. Each week was something new and a twist would just come out which would make you go “ooooo i didnt see tht coming.” which was kind of the point.

American Horror Story

Well what can I say about American Horror Story, at first I didn’t know what to make of it but I knew I liked it. After watching the first episode I found it hard to get my mind around the fact that the guys who made this scary ass show had in fact made Glee. Wat the hell how can this be the same guys? it’s a fantastic scary show with twist and turns each week and keeps you guessing right untill the end. If you havent seen it you really must before the new season starts.

Goosebumps

When I was younger this was one of the shows that I got my love for scares from. I loved the books and i read loads of them R.L Stine got them just right, so when the show came about I was overjoyed and I watched every one. Some of my favourite ones where ones that had come direct from the books, they were really good and not to scary for kids well they didn’t scare me any way.

The Walking Dead

If I am not mistaken, everyone knows how I feel about this show. That being said I will keep it brief, folks it has zombies what’s not to like. For more awesomeness check out the comics the really are worth your time, I can’t wait for season 3 and the glorious things it will bring.

Are You Afraid of the Dark?

This is another show I watched as a kid, the show was based on a group of kids who ech week would gather at a campsite and tell each other a scary story in order to scare each other. It was really good, my brother wasnt really allowed to watch this one as it was a bit scarier than Goosebumps.

The Outer Limits

Ahhh, The Outer Limits, i loved this show. I watched this one with my parents every week, and every week it was different. Much like the Twilight Zone but so different as well. Plus it had an awesome intro, We are controlling transmission, We will control the horizontal, We will control the vertical, We will control all that you see and hear. Brilliant.

The X- Files

When I was a teenager I was obsessed with this show. I mean I never missed a show, I had books, videos and a glow in the dark clock. It was everything I always wanted in a show. I wanted to believe and I trusted no one.

American Gothic

Now it wasnt untill a few years ago did I catch this little gem, on re-run on the horror channel. That made me think how did I miss this, it’s a good show. The Evil Sheriff wants to control the whole town but he has a dark secret. What more could ask for, well except a dead sister that comes back to guide the young Caleb.

Tales from the Crypt

I have touched on the cartoon version of this show before, but here I shall be talking about the show that was made for adults.  As with a few shows on this list, it was a different story each week that the Cryptkeeper wold tell you about usually opening with some sort of pun that would take you into the show. This show was good, sometimes it was funny and other times it coud be real scary, it would also have famous A-list actors and director pop in and out of episodes which was always good.

Masters of Horror

Masters of Horror, is brilliant. Each episode is written or directed by a member of the Masters of Horror informal social group of international film writers and directors. It claims people such John Carpenter, Joe Dante, Mark Garris and Tobe Hooper as members, this show was dark and edgy and each week you didn’t know what would be next. Well worth a watch.

There we have t folks, some scary ass television, if you haent seen any of theses shows and you like this ind of thing give them a go.

Autumn of Terror: Top 5 Hammer Horror Films

By @hmsbeefnuts

If you like your Horror films with a massive spoonful of gothic, a healthy dose of sexiness and some of the finest British character actors ever produced, then you surely are in love with Hammer Horror films. I have loved these films for ever, they are responsible for my love of evil women in corsets, and they are fantastic examples of good old fashioned gothic horror. I have a large collection of these films on DVD, but my fondest memories of these films must be when I first caught them on the TV. I was at the right age, hormones raging, cleavage unbearably exciting, and the thought of a film called The Vampire Lovers was all a bit too much. Needless to say I tried to watch as much Hammer as possible, and although the chance of bear female flesh was initially the draw, I soon realised that the films were great too. So here, are my top 5 Hammer Horror films, I hope you enjoy…

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES

This just happens to be one of my favourite films of all time. I love The Hound of The Baskervilles, and this version is my very favourite. Perhaps not a typical Hammer Horror, it definitely deserves it’s place on this list. Peter Cushing is the great detective, with Christopher Lee reduced to the smaller role of Sir Henry Baskerville. What we have here is a bit of a change of pace from our usual Hammer fare, there isn’t much sexiness going on here, but this film is all about atmosphere. Baskerville Manor is suitably dreary and gothic, and the moor is desolate and foreboding, and the howl of the Hound is heart stopping. I love the beginning, showing how the Curse of the Baskervilles came to be, and Hammer manage to add some occult overtones to the story. All in all, this is a sure fire hit for me, and I am bound to be slipping it in to my DVD player in the run up to Halloween.

CAPTAIN KRONOS VAMPIRE HUNTER

Not a success when first released, I had a few problems tracking this one down, but I have to say, this film is rather fantastic, and a whole lot of fun. Captain Kronos is a Vampire Hunter (obviously) but not really in line with Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing. He is more of a proto Hugh Jackman Van Helsing. In this film, Vampires suck the life out of victims, literally turning them into old haggard husks, when once they were beautiful women. As a former soldier, and ‘expert swordsman’ Kronos and his hunchback assistant travel the country dispatching vampires in a far more swashbuckling type manner than Professor Van Helsing, and this puts a unique spin on vampire hunting in the Hammer canon. Perhaps not for everyone, there are a distinct lack of Hammer Stars in this, however, the film, planned as the first of a franchise, deserves to be seen and appreciated. Highly recommended.

THE HORROR OF DRACULA

Hammer’s take on Bram Stoker’s original story, The Horror of Dracula is the daddy of Hammer Dracula films. We have Christopher Lee as the Count, perhaps the greatest person to ever play him, and his arch nemesis, Van Helsing, played by Peter ‘the man’ Cushing. This doesn’t quite match the original story, as Hammer took some liberties with the plot, but as a film, this is just fantastic. Seeing Cushing and Lee face off against each other is worth the price of the DVD alone, there simply aren’t many more Hammery Hammer Horror Films one can see.

COUNTESS DRACULA

OK I’ll admit it, this choice is based on Ingrid Pitt alone. She is one of the most devastatingly beautiful and downright sexy women ever to drain the blood from sexy virgin girls and bathe in it. The fact that I have also had a long fascination with Elisabeth Bathory, The Bloody Countess, which true story this film is based on, also helps a bit, but by all that is holy and innocent, Ingrid Pitt looks like a Goddess and could be forgiven for any crime, even the murder of a few hundred maids, as long as she looked that good. I feel at this point I must apologise, as this isn’t really a review as such, and I’m not really giving many reason why anyone should watch this film beyond ‘Ingrid Pitt is banging’. Well… does it help that Hercules himself, from Jason and the Argonauts, is in it? Or there is copious amounts of nudity? No? Well unlucky, Ingrid Pitt is hot as hell, and she is naked a lot in this film, and the story is fascinating, so, all in all, this movie is full of win.

CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF

The only werewolf film Hammer made, and quite a good entry in the genre. Werewolves are my favourite monster, and Universals The Wolf Man is one of my favourite movies of all time. Whilst Hammer’s take on the werewolf doesn’t quite reach the heady heights climbed by Lon Chaney Jnr, Oliver Reed gives a tragic performance as the man wolf. Hammer’s version of the monster is a mix between the Lon Chaney Wolf Man, and the earlier Universal film Werewolf of London, another film worth checking out Horror fans. There is quite a bit of werewolf myth going on here, particularly in the way werewolfism is passed on, or created. Set in Spain, this film is very atmospheric, and a perfect cap to any Hammer Horror Marathon.