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Worst WWE Superstars

By @hmsbeefnuts

Earlier this week I wrote about the WWE Superstars who I consider to be the best in the company currently. Now, it is only fair that I continue my look at WWE this week, with 5 Superstars who I consider the worst in the company, or at least, the ones I dislike the most. It was very tempting to add John Cena to this list, not because I don’t like him, I think he’s OK, but he should definitely try to improve his wrestling skills, and start to take his job a bit more seriously at times. You can’t deny the guy has talent and charisma, and works his ass off, but he can’t sell moves very well, acts like a dick at times, and can’t even make his submission move, the STF, look like it hurts. Sloppy John, sloppy. Anyway, enough of John Cena, lets look at 5 ‘superstars’ who need to be future endeavoured immediately, in my opinion.

THE GREAT KHALI

It’s not his fault he can barely move around a ring, but lets face it, The Great Khali is a complete bore to watch, poses no credible threat, and is clearly finding it difficult to do even the most simple of moves. He should be no higher than low mid-card, and should never rub shoulders with anyone higher than that. WWE however, constantly use him as a threat for WWE and World Champions. It is simply incredible that they continue to do so. The Great Khali needs to be retired, or reduced to a comedy character, who barely, if ever, walks to the ring. WWE programming would be vastly improved if this was the case.

DAVID OTUNGA

I hate David Otunga. I hate that stupid cape he wears to the ring. I hate his stupid coffee thermos. I hate the fact that he is involved in major story lines because of his association with John Laurenitis. He comes to the ring with more oil covering his body than a seagull after a tanker wreck. He has weak moves, a boring ring style, and even worse mic skills. Perhaps he needs a new gimmick, because he bores the shit out of me. Lucky he stands next to Eve, who is very beautiful, those glasses definitely do it for me.

SHEAMUS

Oh Sheamus. I wouldn’t really like to see this guy get shit canned, he’s not really that bad, but for some reason, I can’t stand him. I can’t quite put my finger on why either. Perhaps it is because he was given the OK to make Daniel Bryan look like a jobber at Wrestlemania, perhaps it is his Bart Simpson hair cut. Not really sure, all I know is when he comes to the ring, I don’t care what he says, I just want him to leave. Sorry Fella, but I hope Alberto Del Rio takes your title at No Way Out.

JACK SWAGGER

I wasn’t watching WWE when Swagger was a champion, and I find it incredible that he was given the push in the first place. Super annoying and partnered with the vastly superior Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger looks like an idiot. Perhaps he needs a new partner, and could do something in the tag division, when WWE remember that they have one. Swagger needs something new, and a drop down the card, where he can establish himself, and maybe work his way back up. I don’t want to see him mixing it up with the big boys any more.

MARK HENRY

Mark Henry has been stinking up the WWE and the WWF before hand for what seems like decades. He has never been any good. He has never posed a credible threat. He has done nothing to deserve his monster heel reputation. He is useless, and should be future endeavoured right now. Or, alternatively, brought into the tag division, and stay there. With the right partner, perhaps he could be of use. Maybe him and Swagger could tag up? Mark Henry offers nothing to the main event roster, and should not be brought into consideration for anything above the tag, or US title.

Wednesday Whimsy

BY @hmsbeefnuts

As previous posts have explained, Geeky Gem and I are both currently going through a wrestling phase. It only seems right then that whilst I am watching the most amount of wrestling TV shows and PPV’s I have ever seen, I would have a few things to say on the happenings in and around the square circle. I’m going to assume that everyone knows that WWE is a work, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t athletic, impressive and dangerous, so now we have all that over and done with…

JOHN CENA

I must admit to not really liking Cena before Wrestlemania, I wanted The Rock to kick his ass, and was very happy with the match in Miami. Rock has still got it, but I thought Cena did well, mainly, even if he can’t sell properly at times and doesn’t take things seriously. After his big loss at Wrestlemania, Cena came into contact with a returning Brock Lesnar. An F5 later and Lesnar, Cena at Extreme rules was on. The actual match was pretty much what I expected. Lesnar dominated, and Cena came back with a two move flurry at the end. Brock lost, but still looked like an absolute beast, cutting Cena hard-way to the mouth at Extreme Rules and a RAW before it. Cena looked scared. Weirdly, Cena seems to be facing John Laurenitus next, umm, OK. Brock Lesnar breaking HHH’s arm was pretty cool though.

CM PUNK

A feud with Chris Jericho is dragging on and on, and Punk keeps beating Jericho clean every time, I wonder what Jericho did to piss off management. At this point I’m finding the whole Jericho, Punk feud pretty boring, I hope it’s over. A match with Daniel Bryan at Over The Edge looks promising though, these two are my favourites.

DANIEL BRYAN

An 18 second loss to the boring Sheamus at Wrestlemania was a travesty, especially when you look at the time given to other far less talented wrestlers on the card, but Bryan has done well from the loss. He may not be champ any more, but his ‘Yes, Yes!’ catchphrase is being chanted by the crowd and other wrestlers and his stuff with A.J. Has been great. He is a great heel, and it would be good to see him go into an extended run with CM Punk over the coming months.

BELTS

There was no point in putting the title on Big Show, he can do nothing with it, thank Vince that it is back around the waist of Cody Rhodes. The tag team scene is awful at the moment, Kofi and R-Truth are currently champs, a good thing I think, but WWE needs to do more with their tag division, because it is basically dead right now. Santino Morella is still US Champ, and despite myself, I like the guy, although I feel sorry for Dolph Ziggler, not so much fro Jack Swagger, who has to lose to him seemingly every week.

OTHER STUFF

The Divas are awful aren’t they? Just no point in them at all, especially when they take up valuable time on RAW and SMACKDOWN, and on PPV’s. Just make them all valets again, I’m not being sexist, it’s just that they are all terrible at wrestling. Sack the Great Khali, he is useless and can’t walk. Lord Tensai, looks like a giant baby, but at least he is better now than he was as Albert. Ryback is OK, Vince clearly likes him. Sheamus should lose the World Title, he is very very boring. Randy Orton is better in the heel role. Mark Henry is pathetic, please keep him away from any titles. The main event scene needs to have a bit of a shake up.

So there you are, my thoughts on just over a month of happenings in the WWE. We will return to this subject soon, thanks for reading.

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