Monday Musings

By @hmsbeefnuts

As one weekly blog changes hands, another rises up to take Wednesday Whimsy’s place in my writing list. I’m not sure at this point whether this will be a regular blog, or if I will just use the title once in a while, but we shall see how it goes. As I have written elsewhere, my day job no longer allows for me to write whilst at work, and I am finding it increasingly difficult to find time to get any writing done at all, but I shall endure. I am still trying very hard to fit in all sorts of geeky activities, from movies, comics, books and even the occasional video game. In fact, it is about that very subject that I wish to talk about today.

Now I haven’t played a game properly since Skyrim. That was the last time a game fully had my attention, and as one of the greatest games ever made, nothing had really held my attention. But as October rolled into November, and the big Christmas releases began to storm out of the gates, my interest returned. In the last two weeks I have bought 3 Xbox games, that’s more games than I have bought all year, and there are a few more I want before the year is done, as long as my wallet allows. But lets not get ahead of things, the first game I purchased, and the one I have played the most thus far, is Forza Horizon. I do love racing games, and I’ve had a lot of fun with all the Forza series, although I have always been a bit of a Burnout man myself. Forza Horizon is like a wonderful blend of Forza and a more arcadey racer, along the lines of Need For Speed or Burnout, and thus, I am very happy playing it. The graphics are beautiful, all wonderous landscapes, The Rocky Mountains and the surrounding areas are great to drive around. The cars are fantastic looking, and everything visually is stellar. The gameplay which I thought may cause me some problems at first, has proved me wrong. Much like Burnout Paradise, Horizon is based around a huge open world, which you have to drive around to different races etc. I wasn’t in love with this system in Paradise, but in Horizon, I found just driving around a great, and at times quite relaxing experience, with the races adding the thrills and spills in between. I have spent far too many hours racing around Colorado, but I’m loving every second, I literally had to drag myself off it to write this. Forza Horizon is fully recommended to those with a racing bent, absolutely my favourite game so far this year.

The next game I purchased, and it was only last Friday, is WWE 13. I’m loving my wrestling at the moment, and had a lot of fun with WWE 12. I have to say that WWE 13 improves on last years game in every way. The graphics are improved, with the character models simply amazing, especially in the cut scenes, which are used with audio footage of past events, I can actually remember watching the scenes that play out during the campaign, the models are that good. Of course, the big draw this year has to be the Attitude Era mode, which replaces the Road To Wrestlemania mode from last year. Attitude Era takes the player through the greatest era of wrestling, with stars like Stone Cold Steve Austin, The Rock, HHH, Undertaker, Mankind, and of course, the villainous owner of WWE himself Vince McMahon. The roster includes a huge number of Attitude Era legends, and a full roster of current superstars, but it is most fun reliving classic moments like Undertaker vs Mankind in Hell in a Cell, or the Montreal Screwjob. I was surprised that the game is so honest with it’s handling of the Monday Night Wars, with WCW, WWE’s big rival at the time, being given it’s due, and even when something extremely painful happens to a wrestler, the crowd chant ‘ECW’, very surprising and very cool to hear. I would definitely recommend this to any wrestling fan, and make that a must buy if you were a fan during the Monday Night War period. My only criticism would be that sometimes, the events that have to take place during the Attitude Era mode matches are a little vague, it took me a few times to work out what the game wanted me to do at times, but apart from that, this game is most enjoyable.

The last game I purchased, on the same day as WWE 13, hey big spender, was Assassins Creed III. I have been a big fan of all the Assassins Creed games thus far, although I haven’t yet finished Revelations. This is the game I have played the least so far. I think I’ve put in around 2 hours so far, and I have to say, I’m enjoying it. It is very similar to Assassins Creed games past, but if you likes them, I’m sure you will like this. The graphics have had a big overhaul, and everything looks much crisper and prettier. New character Conner plays a bit differently to Ezio or Altair. He is a bigger stronger guy, and his fighting style is more robust and violent, I even DDT’d someone, the developers based his fighting on wrestlers and MMA fighters. The setting of revolutionary America is great so far, and although I have read that some gamers are reporting glitches, as yet, I have not experienced them. I am looking forward to getting further into the game, and with a pretty open social life, at least until mid week, I am expecting I’ll get at least a few more hours in this week.

That’s it for the inaugural Monday Musings. I’ll be back Thursday, and don’t forget Wednesday Whimsy is still around, just written by Caelrona, and not myself. Have a great start to the week.

10 GREAT DOCUMENTARIES YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT: PART 2

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello and welcome to part 2 of my look at 10 documentaries you should check out.

HITMAN HART: WRESTLING WITH SHADOWS

The second documentary on this list that focuses on Wrestling, but forgive me this, as this is very different from Beyond the Mat. Following WWF superstar Bret Hart in his final year with WWF, during the Monday Night Wars, the film makers are given remarkable insight into the backstage world of wrestling. Hart comes across as noble and a gentleman, with his boss, Vince McMahon, and rival Shawn Michaels, less so. What is so fascinating about this film however, is that it covers one of the most infamous events in wrestling history, the Montreal Screwjob. For those that don’t know about this incident, basically, Bret Hart was supposed to win the match in his hometown, before dropping his World Title the next night on RAW, and then leaving for WCW. McMahon and Micheals had other ideas. This is a look into the nastier elements of the wrestling business, and is an amazing look into an incident that has become wrestling legend. Worth a look if you don’t care about wrestling, essential if you do.

EPISODE IV: A FANS HOPE

This is perhaps the geekiest documentary on the list, and I’m sure if you are reading this site, then there is something in this film that you will dig. I happened to love it. Shot by Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame, A Fans Hope, follows the stories of numerous geeks trying to make it into the business, or trying to make money at the geek business, or asking your girlfriend to marry you at a Kevin Smith panel. The stories of these subjects are heartwarming and heartbreaking. Filmed at San Diego Comic Con, the Mecca for the geek community, this film is nerd nirvana for all sorts of geek subjects, cosplay, comic book art, collectors etc. For someone like me who has always wanted to go to comic con, this doc shows you the passion of the fans who attend for various reasons. Geeks can dream, and sometimes, dreams come true.

THE ARISTOCRATS

The Aristocrats is a joke that comedians tell other comedians. This film is a series of comedians telling their versions of the joke, and talking about the joke. The same basic joke, over and over again, with each comedian giving their own spin on things. The film is filthy, hilarious and a great look into what famous comedians find funny. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in a cinema than when I watched this. Filmed by Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza, the film is not for the faint of heart. The Aristocrats is a filthy and disgusting joke, but it is hilarious, and each comedian out doing the last with filth and depravity, The Aristocrats is a solid 90 mins of entertainment, as long as you like that sort of thing.

PROJECT GRIZZLY

Troy Hurtubise is obsessed by grizzly bears. He has survived a grizzly attack and wants to get close to them again, in order to study and observe them. But how would one make themselves safe from bear attack? Well, why not build a suit of armour reminiscent of Tony Starks Mark I armour? This doc is very funny, but also does focus on one mans obsession to get close to these highly dangerous animals. I know that this is the second film on this list that concerns itself with grizzly bears, but this is a very different animal than Grizzly Man. I know that if I could conceivably fight a grizzly bear man to bear, I would totally do it. Look at the picture and tell me you don’t want to see that bear try and batter the dude?

BEST WORST MOVIE

I assume you probably havent seen Troll 2, probably not seen Troll. Well Troll 2 is so shit, that it has become a bit of a classic, and this documentary is all about Troll 2, the people who ‘star’ in it, and the fans who love it. Directed by Michael Stephenson, who is the child star of Troll 2, the movie digs deep into the resurgence of this cult movie, focussing mainly on the star of the film, George Hardy. Hardy is seemingly one of the nicest person on Earth, now a dentist, Hardy gets caught up in a tour of the movie, showing to fans, but not everything he experiences is pleasurable. This is a wonderful little film, about a truly shit film, but if you like really bad films, Troll 2 is worth seeing, and I would recommend Best Worst Movie to anyone who has ever laughed at a bad B-Movie.

Wednesday Whimsy: Stuff I Hate: A Quickly Cobbled Together Blog

By @hmsbeefnuts

I’m not going to waffle on for ages writing an intro. This is basically a list of things that make me irrationally angry. Umm, that’s it. I’m not even going to explain why I hate them, I just do. That’s all you need to know really. Obviously these are my opinions, and this is just a bit of fun, so no complaints if I hate something you love. The world would be a boring place if we all liked the same shit right?

Doctor Who. Piss off.

Bill Nighy. Fuck off.

Mrs Brown’s Boys. Cock shit.

Russel Howard. Piss hole.

Richard Hammond. Twat.

Michael McIntyre. FUCK.

Any Orange cinema advert after the first time you have seen it. Fanny flaps.

Mayonnaise. Go away.

Star Trek. I don’t see the attraction.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Die in a dirty lane you horrible bastard.

Sheamus. Boring dick.

Paul Giamatti. Garghghhhhhh.

The Prime Time Playas. Douche bags.

Having to wait until 2015 for Avengers 2. Bollocks.

The fact I can not seem to finish Storm of Swords. I’m an idiot.

The wait until Game of Thrones Season 3. I need me some Khaleesi damn it to hell.

Not being able to write a proper blog entry. Sorry.

Sega Mega Drives and Sonic the Hedgehog. Shit balls.

The fact I typed ‘Sonic the Hedgehog’ and ‘dick’ into google image search. What is seen can not be unseen.

Sorry for all the hate, next week, stuff I love.

WWE and Me Part 2

By Geeky Gem

Many months ago I told you a story about how my love for WWE started, I also mentioned that some where during my teenage years I fell out of love with the WWE, little did I know that I would soon be back watching RAW every Tuesday morning and my love for the WWE would be back.

Well over a year ago now, I was having a sleepless night and was channel hoping, I came to a sudden halt on a sports channel as I heard a familiar theme song from a wrestler that had since become a movie star Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson had come home to the WWE. I watched as The Rock said he would be back and that he was not happy with Mr John Cena. It was at this point I never thought I would watch it again, however I watched it the next week to see if John Cena had anything to say. Low and behold he did and so began the long run up to a main event.

Elsewhere in the WWE I found that I was quite liking some of the new stars of the WWE, CM Punk, who at first I thought was a bit of a dick was slowly growing on me and not just with his words but it is backed up with moves in the ring. When I came back CM Punk was leading The Nexus and they where targeting another impressive star Randy Orton.

A match that left both men battered and bruised, with only one man living the ring 20 – 0 for Wrestlemania matches. Brilliant TV, the current story lines are also turning into big news. Triple H is set to fight Brock Lessner at Summer Slam and The Rock has been back to say he will see the WWE Champion (who ever it may be at the time) at the Royale Rumble for a title match.

Big Show is runing around kick everyone’s ass in an attempt to stop be seen as the friendly giant but as a man to bring you down, but all giants fall right? No doubt I will be back with more WWE tales soon and I carry on watching a show that never fails to deliver.

All Geek To Me’s Geek Olympics: Final Round

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello Geek Sport’s fans, and welcome to another, slightly delayed, post covering the greatest Geek Character’s competing in a series of events, loosely based on Olympic sports. You can read the first article here, and the second here. So without further a do, here we go…

HAMMER THROW

Thor, The Hammer Bros. Timmy Mallet, Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, M.C. Hammer.

Now this event has been seriously mis-booked by the Geek Olympics’ organisers, oh, that would be me, never mind then, on with the fun. The Hammer Throw is a simple enough event, pick up the hammer, and throw it as far as you can. Beloved 80’s TV Children’s entertainer Timmy Mallet steps up to the plate, struggles to pick up the hammer, twists around, and flings it wildly, behind him. He scores a mighty throw of -2m. Oh dear. Next up The Hammer Bros from Super Mario Bros step to the plate, pick up the hammer and proceed to throw it in a high arc, straight up, and straight down, but being turtle things, perhaps they don’t fully understand the rules. They score 4m, an improvement, but not much of one.

Next up, Greg ‘The Hammer’ Valentine, who despite his name, has never actually thrown a Hammer. He has put people in figure four leg locks though, and he proceeds to drag M.C. Hammer, proving that you can indeed ‘touch this’, in the middle of the stadium and tries to apply the submission move. Unfortunately for ‘The Hammer’, M.C. Hammer is too legit. Too legit to quit, and as he is wearing frankly ridiculous parachute pants, the figure four is ineffective, M.C. Hammer breaks free and runs off. Greg is shamed and arrested by Green Lantern Security. That leaves Thor. He has brought his own Hammer, which he throws, and it keep going and going and going. Unfortunately, it comes back to his hand. Thor scores 0m. Gold Medal goes to The Hammer Bros. with a mighty 4m.

RUNNING

Flash, Quicksilver, Sonic, Superman.

Everyone seems to love the 100m and stuff like that. Personally I can’t see it. 9.65 secs and it’s all over. So this race will be from the starting point in our Geek Olympic Stadium here in Cardiff, all the way around the world, and back to the stadium. The contestants line up, eagerly awaiting the starter pistol. BOOM! The shot is fired and everyone is off. 9.65 secs later Flash crosses the finish line. Oh. Gold Medal Flash.

ARCHERY

Katniss Everdean, Merida, Robin Hood, The Green Arrow, Hawkeye.

You all know the classic way archery contests are held, same deal here, everyone lines up, and its the person who hits the bullseye most wins. Simple really. Hawkeye goes first, he lines up an arrow, steadies himself and fires. The arrow hits the target, and explodes, destroying the next persons target too. The Green Arrow is pissed. He takes out his arrow, lines up and fires one straight at Hawkeye. Luckily its a boxing glove arrow, it knocks Hawkeye out cold, but with no target to hit, Arrow is shit out of luck.

Robin Hood is fully in flirting mode with both Katniss and Merida, which is frankly, well, a bit dodgy, are they even of age yet? Anyway, so entranced is he with both maidens, he fires wild and misses his target. The fact that he is a cartoon fox didn’t really help matters to be honest either. But there we are. It seems Gold is going to the fairer sex today. Katniss and Merida take turns in firing arrows, both hitting bullseye after bullseye. The deadlock is broken however, when Merida suggest they try to see who is the best an horse archery. She is. And she wins. Katniss is forced to go home empty handed, home to her weird Lady Gaga inspired Capitol City. Gold goes to Merida.

WRESTLING/BOXING/MMA/JUDO/KARATE BASICALLY FUCKING SOMEONE UP

Hulk, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Thing, Jason Statham, Bruce Lee, Rocky, Mr. T, Rowdy Roddy Pipper, Hulk Hogan, The Ultimate Warrior, Andre The Giant, The Rock, Wolverine, Deadpool, Chewbacca, Hagrid, Legolas, Batman, Jon Matrix, Ivan Drago, Indiana Jones, Frankenstein’s Monster, The Wolfman, Bigfoot, Conan, Khal Drogo, A Predator, An Alien and Stone Cold Steve Austin.

This event is basically just a Royal Rumble Event to see who is the hardest Mofo in the universe. I’m not even going to attempt to try an describe the chaos that went down in this event. All super powers, all weapons are allowed, no rules apart from, when you get thrown over the ropes, your out, or if you die in the ring, your out. Simple right. All participants start in the, frankly, massive ring. This goes on for hours, and what initially seemed like a brilliant idea, has become a nightmare. Hours pass, and finally two contestants are left, Jason Statham and Batman. Clearly the two hardest people in the known universe, and the best two at beating the shit out of people.

There can only be one winner though. Both have never been beaten, but Batman is just slightly better, sorry Jason. Batman smashes his opponents face through the mat, and throws him over the ropes, simple, but effective. Gold Medal, and award for best person at fighting ever, Batman. Was there ever any doubt?

With that, our All Geek To Me’s Geek Olympics comes to an end. Thanks for reading. Catch you soon.

Worst WWE Superstars

By @hmsbeefnuts

Earlier this week I wrote about the WWE Superstars who I consider to be the best in the company currently. Now, it is only fair that I continue my look at WWE this week, with 5 Superstars who I consider the worst in the company, or at least, the ones I dislike the most. It was very tempting to add John Cena to this list, not because I don’t like him, I think he’s OK, but he should definitely try to improve his wrestling skills, and start to take his job a bit more seriously at times. You can’t deny the guy has talent and charisma, and works his ass off, but he can’t sell moves very well, acts like a dick at times, and can’t even make his submission move, the STF, look like it hurts. Sloppy John, sloppy. Anyway, enough of John Cena, lets look at 5 ‘superstars’ who need to be future endeavoured immediately, in my opinion.

THE GREAT KHALI

It’s not his fault he can barely move around a ring, but lets face it, The Great Khali is a complete bore to watch, poses no credible threat, and is clearly finding it difficult to do even the most simple of moves. He should be no higher than low mid-card, and should never rub shoulders with anyone higher than that. WWE however, constantly use him as a threat for WWE and World Champions. It is simply incredible that they continue to do so. The Great Khali needs to be retired, or reduced to a comedy character, who barely, if ever, walks to the ring. WWE programming would be vastly improved if this was the case.

DAVID OTUNGA

I hate David Otunga. I hate that stupid cape he wears to the ring. I hate his stupid coffee thermos. I hate the fact that he is involved in major story lines because of his association with John Laurenitis. He comes to the ring with more oil covering his body than a seagull after a tanker wreck. He has weak moves, a boring ring style, and even worse mic skills. Perhaps he needs a new gimmick, because he bores the shit out of me. Lucky he stands next to Eve, who is very beautiful, those glasses definitely do it for me.

SHEAMUS

Oh Sheamus. I wouldn’t really like to see this guy get shit canned, he’s not really that bad, but for some reason, I can’t stand him. I can’t quite put my finger on why either. Perhaps it is because he was given the OK to make Daniel Bryan look like a jobber at Wrestlemania, perhaps it is his Bart Simpson hair cut. Not really sure, all I know is when he comes to the ring, I don’t care what he says, I just want him to leave. Sorry Fella, but I hope Alberto Del Rio takes your title at No Way Out.

JACK SWAGGER

I wasn’t watching WWE when Swagger was a champion, and I find it incredible that he was given the push in the first place. Super annoying and partnered with the vastly superior Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger looks like an idiot. Perhaps he needs a new partner, and could do something in the tag division, when WWE remember that they have one. Swagger needs something new, and a drop down the card, where he can establish himself, and maybe work his way back up. I don’t want to see him mixing it up with the big boys any more.

MARK HENRY

Mark Henry has been stinking up the WWE and the WWF before hand for what seems like decades. He has never been any good. He has never posed a credible threat. He has done nothing to deserve his monster heel reputation. He is useless, and should be future endeavoured right now. Or, alternatively, brought into the tag division, and stay there. With the right partner, perhaps he could be of use. Maybe him and Swagger could tag up? Mark Henry offers nothing to the main event roster, and should not be brought into consideration for anything above the tag, or US title.

Top 5 Current WWE Superstars

By Hmsbeefnuts

Once again AGTM’s expensive Geek Radar equipment turns it’s focus to the WWE Universe. I’m still managing to watch RAW and Smackdown every week, and the PPV too, and I’m still enjoying them. As this is the case, I thought it was about time I wrote something else about the squared circle, and the men who battle within it. It is time, Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls, for my personal Top 5 current WWE Superstars, in order.

DANIEL BRYAN

My favourite current wrestler, Daniel Bryan has managed to become one of the biggest Stars in the WWE on talent alone. Not the biggest guy in the world, and in fact, probably one of the smallest in WWE, Bryan has reached the point where his catch phrase ‘YES! YES! YES!’ is shouted by fans even when he isn’t on screen. His style is super technical, mixed with MMA like moves. He is able to have exciting and credible matches with everyone on the roster, even Mark Henry, and his mic work is fantastic. He is supposed to be a heel, but is super over with most fans. His battles with CM Punk have been the best things on WWE TV this year. Bryan has gone from strength to strength, and his break up with girlfriend AJ was hilarious. Bryan is the man of the moment, and a shining example to WWE that you don’t need to be a roid head to make it big.

CM PUNK

It was touch or go whether or not I picked Punk as my number 1, but in the end, Daniel Bryan just pipped him to the title. Punk is fantastic as WWE Champ, he has held the title now for around 6 months, and has entered great performances defending it, particularly against the mighty Bryan. Punk is a master of the mic, and of actual wrestling. He has been given the cover of the new WWE 13 game, an honour indeed, which goes to show he is now an established Superstar. I am very much looking forward to his match against Bryan at No Way Out, which at the time of writing, has not happened yet.

DOLPH ZIGGLER

The Show Off is a great wrestler, that has been lumbered with the awful Jack Swagger for too long. He always gives energetic and strong performances and never has a terrible match. Ziggler is one of the new breed of WWE guys, like Bryan and Punk, who aren’t huge, but rely more on skill and building stories with their matches. Ziggler has been excellent recently and hopefully, is looking good for an extended push to the very top of the WWE roster. He even seems to have left Swagger in the dust. Dolph could easily be his generation Mr. Perfect, he has all the skills needed, he just needs the right push.

CHRISTIAN

The veteran has recently returned from injury and straight into a feud with Cody Rodes and the Intercontinental Championship. Christian has done it all in WWE, but has always been a favourite of mine and is always interesting, entertaining and over. Whilst his best days may well be behind him, Christian still has a lot to offer to WWE, and I hope for a heated feud with Cody over the title belt over the summer.

ZACK RYDER

Zack Ryder is not a great wrestler right now, but he has the potential, at least I, think he does. You have to give credit to a guy that has been buried on TV and jobbed out continuously, for being so popular. Especially when he has done it all by himself. WWE aren’t known for liking that kind of thing, they want to tell people who to like, and push people they give the OK to, but the internet champion has made a name for himself all on his own, and you have to respect that. A definite Intercontinental Champion contender, Zack Ryder could go far in the WWE, if only WWE, will let him. I hope they do, he is the personification of Manifest Destiny. WOO WOO WOO. You know it.

My Geeky Trivia

By Geeky Gem

 Hmsbeefnuts and I love WWE, as you have noticed from articles around the site. We both have our own memories of the WWE, and we also have many talks about the current goings on in the WWE. Well once a week right after we have both watched Raw there will be a talk of some kind. The fun thing about it is, we both have different Superstars we like and hate, which makes our talks even more fun. We haven’t fallen out over it yet so that’s a good sign. That being said, I thought I would bring you some trivia.

 

 

 To most people’s shock Jake “The Snake” Roberts never won a belt in his entire WWF career.

 

The Rock, Chavo Guerrero and Randy Orton are 3rd generation Superstars.

 

Jerry Lawler and Honky Tonk Man are cousins.

 

Vader was the first Wrestler to grace the cover of the RAW magazine.

 

Shawn Michaels has forfeited the most titles in WWE history.

 

Shelton Benjamin coached Brock Lesner during his college amateur wrestling days.

 

Andre the Giant once fell asleep during a match with Big John Studd.

 

The Dudley Boys never participated in the Royal Rumble.

 

Before Paul Bearer got into the wrestling business he actually worked in a morgue.

 

It wasn’t until Wrestlemania XIV that The Rock first used the words “If you smell what The Rock is cooking”.

 

And there we have it some WWE trivia for the ages, I know there is more out there and maybe one day I will bring you some more. Don’t forget to come back nest week for some more awesome trivia.

 

STICKERS, CARDS AND COLLECTABLES

By @hmsbeefnuts

As a kid I think most of us had collections. Peer pressure alone must have driven us to collect all sorts of cards, stickers and other pieces of tat, that were at the time, THE most important thing we had to do. Who didn’t spend play times saying ‘got, got, need, need, NEED DESPERATLEY!!’, and swapping their doubles, trying to get shinies, or silvers and attempting to get the best deal possible? Three months later of course, the collection didn’t mean very much, as there was something new to collect. But that was the fate of sticker and card collections, they were only ever temporary, a passing fad, that would be replaced by the next craze. There was a smell to stickers, an exciting few seconds before you could rip the packet open, then that smell hit you, as you rifled through them, seeing if you have a silver, or a need. Brilliant fun, and an absolutely genius marketing ploy. Below then are the stickers, cards and collectables that I umm, collected, lets see how many I can remember…

TRANSFORMER STICKERS

This was the collection that kicked them all off. I used to love Transformers, still do really, and what better way to express my love of giant robots kicking oil and energon out of each other, than collecting 300 odd stickers and sticking them in the correct order in an album? Well, I can’t think of a better way anyway, and I’ve been trying now for at least 30 seconds. My favourite and most prized stickers were my Starscream silver, and my Grimlock shiny, because, well, they both rocked the spot didn’t they. Fond memories indeed. I have lots of money now, well, more than £2 a week pocket money anyway, think how many packs of stickers I could buy… so many, so, so many. Shame I’m too old…or am I? Yes I am.

WWF CARDS/STICKERS

I have a horrible confession to make. When I was at the height of my WWF Card mania, I stole 2 packs of cards from my local shop. It was the only thing I ever stole, and I am ashamed of it to this day. So ashamed in fact, that I have just donated £5 to the WWF (the panda one). I’m sorry for my crime. Anyway, these cards were my true induction into the crazy world of the WWF. Everyone in school was collecting them, for seemingly ages. Then the stickers came out. My quest for shinies and silvers was renewed once more, and I’m pretty sure I managed to complete the whole sticker collection. My most prized possession? Ultimate Warrior Logo silver, so cool.

TEENAGE MUTANT HERO TURTLES STICKERS

Oh TMHT, in the UK, we weren’t allowed Ninjas, but Heroes were fine. I loved those heroes in a half shell so much. The sticker collection was a must, but I also collected the silver coins, and was obsessed with the toys. I can remember my Dad lining up outside Woolworths at 6am in order to get me and my Brother some Turtle toys, what a hero. The stickers were once again everywhere, and where at one point banned from school as they would cause arguments. The stickers were based on the cartoon show and as usual, the silver and shiny stickers were worth their weight in gold, and then some. Sunday mornings went something like this. Go to the shop, buy some Turtle stickers, open the packs on the way home, decide what I needed and what would be swapped Monday, stick them in the album, and play Turtles the rest of the day. Times were simpler then, simpler and better.

BATMAN THE MOVIE CARDS

Batman The Movie cards were responsible for me being grounded, the first time I was allowed out on my own, but I don’t blame them, they were too awesome. The story goes I had to be in at 7pm, yet so obsessed with swapping these cards with a friend at a local park was I, that I totally forgot the time, and my Mum came to find me. Oh dear. At least I could console myself with a fuller collection of cards. By the time the Batman craze ended, I had a huge, towering pile of cards, and had spent more than a few weeks pocket money on them, gone now of course, shame really.

MUSCLE MEN

I don’t really know that much about these little pink figures. All I know is that a few friends and I were absolutely obsessed with them for a few months in Junior School. I used to buy them in Woolworths (RIP), and they came in a clear plastic bin with about 10 figures in them. I’m not really sure what they were all about now, but I know that some of the Muscle Men were bizarre monsters and freaks, and we would furiously guard our rare ones, even though, I can’t recall how we worked out which ones were rare… Anyway, these were a bizarre curio that many of my friends would forget a few months later, such is the way with crazes.

THE X-FILES CARDS

I was a lot older when I became obsessed with The X-Files. It was a heady mix of monsters and sexual tension, that connected big time with my teenage self, oh, and Gillian Anderson was smoking hot too. I got into The X-Files in a huge way. I collected the magazine, I had a very stupid X-Files baseball cap, that I actually wore out once (I looked a right idiot), and I collected the cards. These were beautifully produced, high quality cards representing the TV show. The best cards however were really nice art works of individual episodes, really stunning looking. I have them somewhere, I will really have to dig them out sometime.

Wednesday Whimsy

BY @hmsbeefnuts

As previous posts have explained, Geeky Gem and I are both currently going through a wrestling phase. It only seems right then that whilst I am watching the most amount of wrestling TV shows and PPV’s I have ever seen, I would have a few things to say on the happenings in and around the square circle. I’m going to assume that everyone knows that WWE is a work, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t athletic, impressive and dangerous, so now we have all that over and done with…

JOHN CENA

I must admit to not really liking Cena before Wrestlemania, I wanted The Rock to kick his ass, and was very happy with the match in Miami. Rock has still got it, but I thought Cena did well, mainly, even if he can’t sell properly at times and doesn’t take things seriously. After his big loss at Wrestlemania, Cena came into contact with a returning Brock Lesnar. An F5 later and Lesnar, Cena at Extreme rules was on. The actual match was pretty much what I expected. Lesnar dominated, and Cena came back with a two move flurry at the end. Brock lost, but still looked like an absolute beast, cutting Cena hard-way to the mouth at Extreme Rules and a RAW before it. Cena looked scared. Weirdly, Cena seems to be facing John Laurenitus next, umm, OK. Brock Lesnar breaking HHH’s arm was pretty cool though.

CM PUNK

A feud with Chris Jericho is dragging on and on, and Punk keeps beating Jericho clean every time, I wonder what Jericho did to piss off management. At this point I’m finding the whole Jericho, Punk feud pretty boring, I hope it’s over. A match with Daniel Bryan at Over The Edge looks promising though, these two are my favourites.

DANIEL BRYAN

An 18 second loss to the boring Sheamus at Wrestlemania was a travesty, especially when you look at the time given to other far less talented wrestlers on the card, but Bryan has done well from the loss. He may not be champ any more, but his ‘Yes, Yes!’ catchphrase is being chanted by the crowd and other wrestlers and his stuff with A.J. Has been great. He is a great heel, and it would be good to see him go into an extended run with CM Punk over the coming months.

BELTS

There was no point in putting the title on Big Show, he can do nothing with it, thank Vince that it is back around the waist of Cody Rhodes. The tag team scene is awful at the moment, Kofi and R-Truth are currently champs, a good thing I think, but WWE needs to do more with their tag division, because it is basically dead right now. Santino Morella is still US Champ, and despite myself, I like the guy, although I feel sorry for Dolph Ziggler, not so much fro Jack Swagger, who has to lose to him seemingly every week.

OTHER STUFF

The Divas are awful aren’t they? Just no point in them at all, especially when they take up valuable time on RAW and SMACKDOWN, and on PPV’s. Just make them all valets again, I’m not being sexist, it’s just that they are all terrible at wrestling. Sack the Great Khali, he is useless and can’t walk. Lord Tensai, looks like a giant baby, but at least he is better now than he was as Albert. Ryback is OK, Vince clearly likes him. Sheamus should lose the World Title, he is very very boring. Randy Orton is better in the heel role. Mark Henry is pathetic, please keep him away from any titles. The main event scene needs to have a bit of a shake up.

So there you are, my thoughts on just over a month of happenings in the WWE. We will return to this subject soon, thanks for reading.