Autumn of Terror: How I Failed To Make A Documentary About Ghosts And Legends

By @hmsbeefnuts

You may know from recent blogs that I’m quite fond of documentaries, well one summer, about 5 years ago, or maybe more now, the exact date is lost in memory, a few close friends and I decided to film our own documentary. We are all from Barry, a large town near Welsh Capital Cardiff, in South Wales, an area that seemed to be rich in folklore, ghosts, legends, and even a few cryptids here and there. Now we had never filmed more than a few Jackass style stunts before, we were inexperienced, totally unprepared, but were enthusiastic and ready to bullshit our way around The Vale of Glamorgan, in search of myths, monsters and spooky stories. The team was set up like this, me, my Brother Ollie (camera man), our friend Matty (presenter) and another friend Clare (team complainer ‘It’s cold. It’s rainy. I’m hungry!!’. Sorry Clare, we still love you!). My role was basically handling director duties and trying to get everyone’s arse into gear.

Why would anyone attempt this type of thing for no money, in ones spare time? Well it was Summer, at the time none of us had full time jobs, we were young and bored, and it sounded like a good idea at the time. I still think it sounds like a good idea, and it was definitely fun, if I ever had a chance again, I would totally try and do something again, but life gets in the way. Anyway. I’m getting ahead of myself, things are better started at the beginning, and so, we shall start there…

A rushed ‘production meeting’ allowed us to talk about what things we wanted to cover in this exciting (for us at least) project. The local area turned out to be quite the hotbed of mysterious goings on, from winged snakes, hitch-hiking ghosts, white ladies, black dogs and big cats. We had a lot of ground to cover if we wanted to see it all. Instead, we decided to concentrate on a few of the more likely and believable stories. So winged snakes were out, they hadn’t been seen for 200 years or so, and were most likely the invention of a drunken mind. Ghosts were decided on as being the most interesting and probably the most likely too, and so, our documentary crew went off to their computers and tried to look up any information they could about ghosts in our local area.

A local pub called The Captains Wife, (after the spirit of the wife of a Sea Captain who never returned home from a voyage, the wife so distraught that she hurled herself into the sea, to join her beloved), was thought to be our first port of call, and so, with no script, very little research and a whole lot of youthful endeavor, we loaded up my car and drove to the pub. As we were very early, there were few customers, and so we quickly found the manager, and camera in hand, asked permission to film and interview a few of the staff about their experiences of a ghostly nature. We came up with a genius excuse for doing all of this. Clearly we thought that just saying we were a bit bored and fancied filming something fun for a few weeks wasn’t going to cut the mustard. Instead we invented a whole back story for our group, we had met at university, where we were all doing film studies, and that we had chosen this documentary as our final project. Clever right? Well whether they believed us or not, and they must have thought we were very disorganised film students if they did, they allowed us to film and interview the staff. We were actually doing it.

We interviewed 4 members of staff, who each had tales of ghostly happenings that they had experienced, from chairs that moved on their own, to turning around in an empty bar and coming face to face with the Captain’s Wife herself. Spooky indeed. We filmed the interviews in front of the impressive fire-place, it all looked brilliant and atmospheric, our cover story was holding up, and our first location shoot was a massive success… until we got home to edit the footage. Of course our camera wasn’t a HD expensive piece of kit, so the image wasn’t excellent, but it was passable, in any case, we had already clocked that our film wasn’t going to look as a Louis Theroux or Michael Moore, the problem was the sound. Umm, we had forgotten that microphones are a good idea, and tend to pick up sounds that people say. So excited were we to start our amazing new project, we had forgotten the one of the two most important things about a film. A whole day wasted, and worse, we now had to invest in some sort of microphone if we were going to continue. Also, could we go back to The Captain’s Wife and reinterview everyone? It would be embarrassing, and to be honest, although the stories were very good, we decided the shame of  admitting we were inept was too great. It was a dark day for our nameless production, one we never really recovered from.

We decided we would try one more trip, this time to a local country park, reputedly haunted by a White Lady, a legend that has a few stories based around it, but one that people saw every few years. The usual story went as follows; a group of teenagers go camping in the Park, near the large viaduct. During the night, they are awoken by wailing and a ghostly white figure of a woman is seen approaching the tents. The kids leave sharpish, and never camp there again. We had our interest piqued by a girl I used to work with who swore this had happened to her, the investigation was on… But there was another place we wanted to try too. Somewhere that didn’t really have a haunted reputation, but looked spooky as hell. An old abandoned mill on the outskirts of Barry, now in ruins, looked like a perfect place for ghostly goings on. We decided to investigate both. We found nothing, unless you believe that orbs are the spirits of the dead, and not like dust or insects. We spent half a night down Porthkerry Country Park, and an afternoon at the mill. Nothing happened, we went home cold and tired, and a little disappointed, but we were not bored.

Our project had ended pretty much as soon as it had started. We were unprepared and disorganised, we didn’t think it through properly and we had no chance of doing anything of any worth. However, for a few weeks during a long, boring summer, we were entertained and we did some cool research. I would love to do something like that again, giving it a much better go, if I won the lottery, I would be all over it again. Documentaries are hard work, and although ours was a blatantly pathetic attempt it did show us a little of what it takes to make one, and if nothing else, we got to hear some really awesome spooky stories, and wasn’t that worthwhile enough?

 

10 GREAT DOCUMENTARIES YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT: PART 2

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello and welcome to part 2 of my look at 10 documentaries you should check out.

HITMAN HART: WRESTLING WITH SHADOWS

The second documentary on this list that focuses on Wrestling, but forgive me this, as this is very different from Beyond the Mat. Following WWF superstar Bret Hart in his final year with WWF, during the Monday Night Wars, the film makers are given remarkable insight into the backstage world of wrestling. Hart comes across as noble and a gentleman, with his boss, Vince McMahon, and rival Shawn Michaels, less so. What is so fascinating about this film however, is that it covers one of the most infamous events in wrestling history, the Montreal Screwjob. For those that don’t know about this incident, basically, Bret Hart was supposed to win the match in his hometown, before dropping his World Title the next night on RAW, and then leaving for WCW. McMahon and Micheals had other ideas. This is a look into the nastier elements of the wrestling business, and is an amazing look into an incident that has become wrestling legend. Worth a look if you don’t care about wrestling, essential if you do.

EPISODE IV: A FANS HOPE

This is perhaps the geekiest documentary on the list, and I’m sure if you are reading this site, then there is something in this film that you will dig. I happened to love it. Shot by Morgan Spurlock of Supersize Me fame, A Fans Hope, follows the stories of numerous geeks trying to make it into the business, or trying to make money at the geek business, or asking your girlfriend to marry you at a Kevin Smith panel. The stories of these subjects are heartwarming and heartbreaking. Filmed at San Diego Comic Con, the Mecca for the geek community, this film is nerd nirvana for all sorts of geek subjects, cosplay, comic book art, collectors etc. For someone like me who has always wanted to go to comic con, this doc shows you the passion of the fans who attend for various reasons. Geeks can dream, and sometimes, dreams come true.

THE ARISTOCRATS

The Aristocrats is a joke that comedians tell other comedians. This film is a series of comedians telling their versions of the joke, and talking about the joke. The same basic joke, over and over again, with each comedian giving their own spin on things. The film is filthy, hilarious and a great look into what famous comedians find funny. I don’t think I have ever laughed so hard in a cinema than when I watched this. Filmed by Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza, the film is not for the faint of heart. The Aristocrats is a filthy and disgusting joke, but it is hilarious, and each comedian out doing the last with filth and depravity, The Aristocrats is a solid 90 mins of entertainment, as long as you like that sort of thing.

PROJECT GRIZZLY

Troy Hurtubise is obsessed by grizzly bears. He has survived a grizzly attack and wants to get close to them again, in order to study and observe them. But how would one make themselves safe from bear attack? Well, why not build a suit of armour reminiscent of Tony Starks Mark I armour? This doc is very funny, but also does focus on one mans obsession to get close to these highly dangerous animals. I know that this is the second film on this list that concerns itself with grizzly bears, but this is a very different animal than Grizzly Man. I know that if I could conceivably fight a grizzly bear man to bear, I would totally do it. Look at the picture and tell me you don’t want to see that bear try and batter the dude?

BEST WORST MOVIE

I assume you probably havent seen Troll 2, probably not seen Troll. Well Troll 2 is so shit, that it has become a bit of a classic, and this documentary is all about Troll 2, the people who ‘star’ in it, and the fans who love it. Directed by Michael Stephenson, who is the child star of Troll 2, the movie digs deep into the resurgence of this cult movie, focussing mainly on the star of the film, George Hardy. Hardy is seemingly one of the nicest person on Earth, now a dentist, Hardy gets caught up in a tour of the movie, showing to fans, but not everything he experiences is pleasurable. This is a wonderful little film, about a truly shit film, but if you like really bad films, Troll 2 is worth seeing, and I would recommend Best Worst Movie to anyone who has ever laughed at a bad B-Movie.

10 GREAT DOCUMENTARIES YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT: PART 1

By @hmsbeefnuts

I love a good documentary, as much as the next man, in fact, maybe more than the next man (or woman), I suppose it just depends on who they happen to be. Like the next man could be Werner Herzog, or Michael Moore, and they probably like documentaries more than me, probably. Of course I can’t be sure, I haven’t asked them, but it is a fair supposition in my mind, after all, they have made many documentaries between them, and I have only attempted to make one, and failed in spectacular fashion. What I am trying to say is, I like documentaries as an art form, and I don’t care who the next man (or woman) is, I wanted to write a little something about my favourite ones. These are in no particular order, but all are quite, quite brilliant.

KING OF KONG: A FISTFULL OF QUARTERS

This is an old fashioned tale of good vs evil, David vs Goliath, Steve Wiebe vs Billy Mitchell. The basic story is, Mitchell set the Donkey Kong world record in the 80’s, a record that stood for 25 years. Wiebe, a likable unemployed teacher becomes obsessed with breaking the record, and does, only for a bitter rivalry to begin. I won’t spoil anything else about this wonderful film, you need to experience the highs and lows for yourself. This isn’t a documentary solely for gamers, anyone can enjoy this story and I have shown it to many people who didn’t give a shit about Donkey Kong before hand, but at the end, the high score seemed like the most important thing in the world. This doc definitely has a villain, rich, cocky and perhaps crooked Billy Mitchell, matched against our hero, family man, Steve Wiebe, and like the best stories, we invest massively in the characters and story. Watch this film, it is simply brilliant.

BEYOND THE MAT

We all know that wrestling isn’t ‘real’ right? Well, tell that to Mick Foley. Beyond the Mat is a look into many aspects of the world of wrestling, the stars, the WWF/E, the indie scene, the men who put their bodies on the line for entertainment. The star of the show is Mick Foley/Mankind/Dude Love/Cactus Jack, but here we see Mick’s family life, here we see how his kids and wife react to some of the most brutal matches in WWF history. I love wrestling, and seeing this gave me a greater appreciation for the guys in the ring. The doc also focuses on Jake the Snake Roberts, who is very much at the twilight of his career and the problems he has faced by being a wrestler. I recommend this doc to anyone who loves wrestling, and anyone who thinks wrestling is stupid and fake. Yes they know who is going to win, but if you see some of the things that Foley goes through, I don’t think you could call it ‘fake’. One of my favourites, I have watched this numerous times, highly recommended.

SUPERHEROES

Originally an HBO documentary on real life superheroes, I caught this on DVD. This film follows the stories of some remarkable, some clearly mentally ill people, who dress up in costumes and seek to right the wrongs of society, or get drunk a lot and walk the streets. This is at times hilarious and sad, touching and hopeful. The people featured are striving to make the world a better place, and do manage to do some good. I watched this along with Confessions of a Superhero (a doc about the people who dress like superheros on Hollywood Boulevard), and whilst they are both interesting, Superheroes is a far more positive and rewarding watch, Confessions depressed me a little bit. We must have all dreamed of being crime fighting superheroes at some point, and these guys took their dreams, and made it a reality, even if the reality wasn’t quite what the fantasy promised.

GRIZZLY MAN

The man in the picture above, Timothy Treadwell, was killed, along with his girlfriend, eaten by a grizzly bear whilst filming a documentary of his annual summer expedition trying to live with, and protect the bears. Werner Herzog directs the film, as he investigates Treadwell’s motivations, and his last few months of life, that he filmed himself as he tried to live with the bears. Now the footage in this film is amazing, not only stunning landscapes, but footage of grizzly bears that defy belief. Now Treadwell is incredibly brave to interact with these bears, but his bravery comes from his clear mental health issues. It is clear that a man who will stand up and tell a bear off, isn’t all there. This is a fascinating and heartfelt doc, and quite sad, but well worth your time.

THE SHARK IS STILL WORKING

I have only recently watched this, as it comes on the JAWS Blu-Ray release, but it is quite simply fantastic. I am a massive JAWS fan, and obviously this is going to play in my favour whilst watching a doc all about the making of the film, but it is a brilliant look into a movie that wasn’t working, a director that was out of his depth and the ways in which these production problems helped create perhaps the greatest action-thriller film ever made. I can not recommend this enough, and is worth the price of the Blu-Ray on it’s own, but you have to own JAWS on Blu-Ray anyway, because it is genius and amazing.

That’s the first 5 of 10 docs, I’ll be writing up the next 5 in time for Thursday. Catch you then.