10 GREAT DOCUMENTARIES YOU SHOULD CHECK OUT: PART 1

By @hmsbeefnuts

I love a good documentary, as much as the next man, in fact, maybe more than the next man (or woman), I suppose it just depends on who they happen to be. Like the next man could be Werner Herzog, or Michael Moore, and they probably like documentaries more than me, probably. Of course I can’t be sure, I haven’t asked them, but it is a fair supposition in my mind, after all, they have made many documentaries between them, and I have only attempted to make one, and failed in spectacular fashion. What I am trying to say is, I like documentaries as an art form, and I don’t care who the next man (or woman) is, I wanted to write a little something about my favourite ones. These are in no particular order, but all are quite, quite brilliant.

KING OF KONG: A FISTFULL OF QUARTERS

This is an old fashioned tale of good vs evil, David vs Goliath, Steve Wiebe vs Billy Mitchell. The basic story is, Mitchell set the Donkey Kong world record in the 80’s, a record that stood for 25 years. Wiebe, a likable unemployed teacher becomes obsessed with breaking the record, and does, only for a bitter rivalry to begin. I won’t spoil anything else about this wonderful film, you need to experience the highs and lows for yourself. This isn’t a documentary solely for gamers, anyone can enjoy this story and I have shown it to many people who didn’t give a shit about Donkey Kong before hand, but at the end, the high score seemed like the most important thing in the world. This doc definitely has a villain, rich, cocky and perhaps crooked Billy Mitchell, matched against our hero, family man, Steve Wiebe, and like the best stories, we invest massively in the characters and story. Watch this film, it is simply brilliant.

BEYOND THE MAT

We all know that wrestling isn’t ‘real’ right? Well, tell that to Mick Foley. Beyond the Mat is a look into many aspects of the world of wrestling, the stars, the WWF/E, the indie scene, the men who put their bodies on the line for entertainment. The star of the show is Mick Foley/Mankind/Dude Love/Cactus Jack, but here we see Mick’s family life, here we see how his kids and wife react to some of the most brutal matches in WWF history. I love wrestling, and seeing this gave me a greater appreciation for the guys in the ring. The doc also focuses on Jake the Snake Roberts, who is very much at the twilight of his career and the problems he has faced by being a wrestler. I recommend this doc to anyone who loves wrestling, and anyone who thinks wrestling is stupid and fake. Yes they know who is going to win, but if you see some of the things that Foley goes through, I don’t think you could call it ‘fake’. One of my favourites, I have watched this numerous times, highly recommended.

SUPERHEROES

Originally an HBO documentary on real life superheroes, I caught this on DVD. This film follows the stories of some remarkable, some clearly mentally ill people, who dress up in costumes and seek to right the wrongs of society, or get drunk a lot and walk the streets. This is at times hilarious and sad, touching and hopeful. The people featured are striving to make the world a better place, and do manage to do some good. I watched this along with Confessions of a Superhero (a doc about the people who dress like superheros on Hollywood Boulevard), and whilst they are both interesting, Superheroes is a far more positive and rewarding watch, Confessions depressed me a little bit. We must have all dreamed of being crime fighting superheroes at some point, and these guys took their dreams, and made it a reality, even if the reality wasn’t quite what the fantasy promised.

GRIZZLY MAN

The man in the picture above, Timothy Treadwell, was killed, along with his girlfriend, eaten by a grizzly bear whilst filming a documentary of his annual summer expedition trying to live with, and protect the bears. Werner Herzog directs the film, as he investigates Treadwell’s motivations, and his last few months of life, that he filmed himself as he tried to live with the bears. Now the footage in this film is amazing, not only stunning landscapes, but footage of grizzly bears that defy belief. Now Treadwell is incredibly brave to interact with these bears, but his bravery comes from his clear mental health issues. It is clear that a man who will stand up and tell a bear off, isn’t all there. This is a fascinating and heartfelt doc, and quite sad, but well worth your time.

THE SHARK IS STILL WORKING

I have only recently watched this, as it comes on the JAWS Blu-Ray release, but it is quite simply fantastic. I am a massive JAWS fan, and obviously this is going to play in my favour whilst watching a doc all about the making of the film, but it is a brilliant look into a movie that wasn’t working, a director that was out of his depth and the ways in which these production problems helped create perhaps the greatest action-thriller film ever made. I can not recommend this enough, and is worth the price of the Blu-Ray on it’s own, but you have to own JAWS on Blu-Ray anyway, because it is genius and amazing.

That’s the first 5 of 10 docs, I’ll be writing up the next 5 in time for Thursday. Catch you then.

Geek Olympics: Round 2: Events of an Aquatic Nature

By @hmsbeefnuts

 

It was with some trepidation that I decided to start writing a second Geek Olympics article, for the first one was a bit of a marathon in its own right. However, I thought a more slimmed down version would a) not be so arduous to write, and b) be a hell of a lot easier to read. As such then, I will present a few events per article, and not go into such details, because as with sport, the only real information anyone needs is the result. On with the sports.

 

FISHING

 

I don’t know if fishing is a sport or not, seems really boring to me, but then, that’s how I feel about most sports, so I guess it could be. It is included here as an added event to an aquatic themed round of our Geek Olympics. The field of competition is quite sparse for this event as there are only 3 competitors, Bubba, from Forrest Gump, Quint, from JAWS, and Link from The Legend of Zelda series. As this is an exciting event, the fish species chosen for the fishing is Megaladon, an ancient and gigantic species of Great White Shark.

This obviously puts Link and Bubba at an extreme disadvantage, and Bubba is almost instantly killed by the great monster. Link lasts a little longer, in part thanks to his skilled use of a hook-shot and boomerang, but in the end, experience and obsession wins the day. Quint sticks seventeen barrels in the leviathan and starts to tow the beast in, the taxidermy man is going to have a heart attack when he sees what Quint brought him. Gold Medal Winner Quint. Link lives to fight another day. Bubba is buried at sea. On to the next event!!

 

SAILING

 

My games, my rules, and this means that any competitor who has previously died, can come back to life (from the use of Ras Al Ghul’s Lazarus Pits or something). Thus in the sailing, Cpt. Jack Sparrow is back, alongside Link, Argus (the Argonaut), and The Dread Pirate Roberts. The sailing takes place on a course filled with shrieking eels, sea monsters, and of course, the mighty Kraken. Sails are set, and a mighty conch shell is sounded, it’s time to race! The Black Pearl, The Argo, The King of Red Lions and The Revenge take it in turns to trade the lead back and forth. Link, once again at a disadvantage due to his smaller boat, gets taken out early by a swarm of shrieking eels, better luck next time little guy. The Black Pearl and The Revenge take a strong lead, due mainly to the fact they have more sails than The Argo, however, the race is not done yet.

 

As they reach the half way point, The Argo is suddenly lifted into the air by mighty hands, it seems Posiedon has taken pity on the crew of the Argo, and sweeping both The Pearl and The Revenge away with his other hand, he places The Argo firmly in the lead. With a mighty blow of wind, The Argo crosses the finish line first, The Pearl, a close second is hampered by some Kraken trouble, Whilst The Revenge cuts its losses and makes it’s way back to Florin for repairs. Gold Medal Winner, The Argo!!! NEXT!!

 

SWIMMING

The big one, in aquatic terms anyway.  A straight up freestyle swimming race in a standard Olympic pool, nothing fancy here, except the competitors of course. The line up looks spectacular, Aquaman, Namor The Submariner, Tarzan, Merman (from He-Man), Super Mario, and The Creature from the Black Lagoon. Excitement is at a fever pitch as the race is about to begin, that is until Aquaman and Namor have a bit of a disagreement about who is the real King of Atlantis. A fist fight breaks out, Green Lantern Corps security is called in, and both are disqualified. This leaves the field, or pool, very much open.

The race starts and the remaining competitors leap into the water. Creature and Merman take an early lead with Tarzan in third and portly Mario bringing up the rear. That is, and perhaps unsurprisingly by the way all these other races etc. have gone, Mario, in last place does something that we can not condone here at All Geek To Me. Mario reaches into his pocket, pulls out a power star, and the rest, as they say, is history. He speeds to the front, flashing all the way, and wins easily. Gold Medal Winner Mario!! In the drug testing afterwards however, Mario is disqualified as his urine is found to have copious amounts of illegal mushrooms in it. When added to the Star Man, it is clear that Mario is a dirty drug cheat. Stripped of the title, the Gold Medal goes to second place The Creature From The Black Lagoon. It is a dark day for the Geek Olympics…

 

On that note, this round comes to a close, see you next time sports fans.

WEDNESDAY WHIMSY

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello Wednesday fans, and welcome to some more Whimsy. I must admit, Wednesday is my least favourite day of the week, it doesn’t know what it is really does it? Smack bang in the middle of the week, too far away from Saturday, yet far enough from Monday to be truly tedious. Yet in Britain, it is Orange Wednesday, where customers of Orange Phones can get 2 cinema tickets for the price of one!! Unfortunately, this means the cinema is full, and thus, not a good day to go. Damn you Wednesday, damn you to the very pits of Hades, from whence you emerged, all boring and joyless. Hmm. Excuse me.

Now next Month here at All Geek To Me, we will mostly be getting very excited about The Dark Knight Rises and will be celebrating this fact in our Summer Knights celebration. As such, my usual round up of the films I watched during the last month, will now take the place of this weeks Wednesday Whimsy. So I hope you look forward to some of the articles etc. we have coming up, and hope you enjoy my following look at the films I deemed worthy of a trip to the cinema this month.

SNOW WHITE AND THE HUNTSMAN

 

This feels like ages ago now, having seen Snow White on June 1^st. I did like it very much, despite Kirsten Stewart being in it. Someone needs to cheer her up, perhaps buy her a happy meal, and a chocolate shake, because she seems to have one acting mode, look depressingly off into the middle distance, and bite her lip. The fact that clearly she is not the fairest in the land, especially when that land is ruled by Charlise Theron, can be passed by, as in all other aspects, SWATH was pretty damn good. The production design on this movie was fantastic, and the Troll in particular is surely in with a shout as top cinematic monster this year? I liked that the film had quite a retro feel, it seemed to be reaching into the 80’s, to movies such as The Princess Bride and Legend. The dwarfs were quite good too, even if they were used sparingly. Theron was a good big bad, and the only weak point was the Wicked Queens pathetic brother, not menacing enough to be a threat, and with a very stupid hair cut. The first movie this month to promote the axe as the weapon of choice, SWATH, is well worth your time.

PROMETHEUS

 

Oh Boy. The most controversial film for quite some time, and one that has split critics and audience members alike between those who loved it, and those that didn’t get it. Well I saw this film twice, and I loved it both times. Clearly this is a prequel to Alien, although not a direct prequel. Yes, the film is engineered to make you think, it is not a film that gives away all it’s motives. Yes there are curious things that don’t quite seem to fit. For example, the scientists in this film seem extraordinarily stupid, there is a character played by a young man, who is in some very odd old age make up, and certain things are glossed over, character’s actions don’t always seem to fit 100 %. However, I don’t think that Prometheus is any different from any number of films, especially Alien, where scientists act in stupid ways (why would anyone put their face over an opening Alien egg sack?). It is part one of a purposed new trilogy. Things aren’t going to be spoon fed to you, questions will be posed, and not necessarily answered right away. I liked this film more than the original Alien, but not as much as Aliens. I can’t wait for a sequel. The film was beautifully shot, well acted and had a great fan pleasing final shot. This film is a great conversation starter. Go see it with a few friends, and prepare to talk about it for the next few days.

RED TAILS

 

I hadn’t really expected very much from this film, apart from some impressive dog fights and aerial combat scenes, Red Tails hadn’t had a great time of it when it was released earlier this year in the US. I have to say, that I enjoyed this film quite a bit. Yes, the cgi battle scenes were very good, a bit like a more earthly Star Wars, however, I also enjoyed the story, characters and acting. It was not a story I was familiar with, but it was one of bravery and courage in the face of battle, and oppression. It was refreshing to see a Hollywood movie that starred an almost exclusively black cast, and it really made me wonder why Cuba Gooding Jnr. Doesn’t get more quality roles. If you see Red Tails, go for the awesome battle scenes and daring do, but you might be surprised that you start to really care about the characters, seeing as this is a Lucas Film production, and lets be honest, it was very hard to care about most of the characters in the Star Wars Prequels, or Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Red Tails is a good movie, perfect Sunday afternoon watching.

JAWS

 

I have written about JAWS before, and some of you will know that it is one of my two favourite films ever made. Until a few weeks ago, however, I had never seen it in a cinema. It was worth the trip. I always think that films are meant to be shown theatrically, that no matter how big your TV, how booming your surround sound, it will never compare to the cinema. I have seen JAWS hundreds of times, but I never saw it fully before. The picture popped, the sound was crisp, the viewing was tense and exciting and the best I had ever seen JAWS look. I am a massive fan of these re-releases, and hope that they continue, the classic films of the past need to be experienced the way they were supposed to be experienced, on a huge screen with pristine sound, and in the pitch black, that draws you further into the story and the drama. JAWS was the best film I saw this month, but that isn’t exactly fair, as it is the best film I have ever seen in a theatre, until Raiders of the Lost Ark gets re-released.

ABRAHAM LINCOLN: VAMPIRE HUNTER

When trailers for this movie were showing in front of films I have seen, a collective groan could be heard, barely audible, but still very much there. The groan always annoyed me. Yes I had read the book this movie was based on, and enjoyed the hell out of it, but that still didn’t account for the majority of people thinking this looked stupid, and me thinking it looked amazing. Turns out they were wrong and I was right. This was a very entertaining, and exciting thrill ride, with a touch of real history, that included some of the coolest vampires seen on screen for a good while, and two very inventive action sequences that whilst slightly ridiculous, fit perfectly into the universe of the film. I thought the acting was of a good standard, the production design was outstanding, and for the love of all that is holy, Abe had a gun axe. Even the 3D, which I was forced to view it in, didn’t bother me at all. Easily the best movie Tim Burton has been involved in since Sleepy Hollow, I enjoyed this very very much.

Wednesday Whimsy

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello, and welcome to another Wednesday Whimsy. As I type this, it is currently Tuesday 19^th of June, at 12:02pm. In other words, I have left this blog post very very late in the day to start. Why am I telling you this? Well, hopefully it will reduce expectations and hopefully, after finishing reading, what will clearly be a half arsed at best blog, you will not blame me overly much. I have been busy, with real life work things, some big changes coming up in my personal life, a change of job most prominent, and I have not had a lie in for a month, so I’m pretty tired. Anyway, enough of my grumbling, I thought today, I would just let you know what I have been doing entertainment wise this last few weeks, and maybe recommend some books or something, you know, nothing too taxing.

 

OK, so I have been trying to read A Song of Ice and Fire, and I’m up to Book 3, A Storm of Swords, but I have been on this book now for well over a month. Am I not enjoying it? No, I love it whenever I read a few paragraphs, but the problem is, there is so much more to read, it kind of feels daunting, and it’s stopping me from reading more. I have managed to start 2 more books, The Monster Hunters Survival Guide, a comic booky look into the life of a Monster Hunter, and along similar if more realistic lines, Memoires of a Monster Hunter, by Nick Redfern, a glimpse into the life of a real life monster hunter. I’m enjoying both, but finding it hard to commit much time to reading, what with work, writing, a social life, of sorts, and all the rest. Life is tough when you have to fit in everything you want to do #firstworldproblem right?

 

Gaming has also taken a back seat, and it must have been a good month since I played a game, I haven’t even downloaded the new Skyrim patch, must try harder. I’m not really in a gaming mood at the moment, it feels too much like hard work when I’m trying to relax. I’ll get my gaming mojo back soon, probably over the period of the hottest weather in July or August.

 

Film wise, I saw Prometheus twice, and loved both showings. I don’t understand the people who didn’t get the film. The fact it leaves us with questions is one of the strongest parts of the film, which will hopefully get a sequel or two. I also finally got to see JAWS in a cinema, and it was spectacular, so much so, I considering going back to see it again if I have time. I was a beautiful thing, to see one of my two favourite films on the big screen, the other being Raiders of the Lost Ark, which I’m sure I will get to see theatrically one day. I’m a fan of these special re-releases, more please Hollywood.

 

Being busy is also to blame for my build up of podcasts. Podcasts are my new favourite thing, I listen to quite a few. I will take this opportunity to recommend some that are my favourite. For comic book fans, I would like to recommend Cape Crisis, from the guys who brought you Talkradar and Laser Time, always fun and interesting. Also in comic books, The Comic Conspiracy, which is a great weekly round up of news and comic events from a very knowledgeable team, a great listen.

 

For video game fans I would like to recommend Games Radar UK podcast, once every two weeks, the guys lay down some awesome talk and make me laugh constantly. In other video games podcasts, and perhaps my favourite podcast ever, is Destructoid’s podcast, Podtoid. Led by Jim Sterling and Jonathon Holmes, a perfect pairing, they hardly ever talk about games, and it couldn’t be better. I love Podtoid, although be aware, you are best served downloading starting around Podtoid 170, and easing yourself in, you will appreciate it.

 

Fans of pop culture and quizzes etc. would do well to listen to Laser Time, which every week covers a different subject each week, is always hilarious, and always worth listening to. Good Job Brain, is a quiz based podcast that it very QI in form, again always interesting. The Geek Box is a weekly round up of the biggest geeky news stories and goings on, discussed by a range of cool people. Mysterious Universe is a good source of news for the more Fortean minded, including Ghosts, Bigfoot and UFOs, always good to hear.

 

Finally, if you like comedy, my favourite podcasts are, The Comedy Button, and Richard Herring’s Podcast in which he interviews a guest each week, with hilarious results. I’ll leave links to all of them below. That’s it for this weeks rushed Wednesday Whimsy, I’ll catch you for more next week. Hmsbeefnuts out.

For Laser Time/Cape Crisis http://www.lasertimepodcast.com/

For Comic Conspiracy/The Geek Box/The Comedy Button/Good Job Brain http://www.geekbox.net/archives/category/podcasts/

For Podtoid http://www.destructoid.com/?t=podtoid

For Richard Herring http://www.comedy.co.uk/podcasts/

For Mysterious Universe http://mysteriousuniverse.org/

For Gamesradar UK Podcast http://www.gamesradar.com/uk/

My Top 20 Movies

By @hmsbeefnuts

All Geek To Me has been running for almost 6 months now, and I thought it was about time that I sat down and tried to write something about my Top 20 Films. I think that an individuals Top 20 Films gives you an insight into that persons personality. It is a quick, but largely useless way admittedly, to decide whether or not that person is your kind of person. I have chosen a Top 20, simply because, a Top 10 didn’t seem appropriate, I love Movies way more than that. Also, these films are in no particular order, I consider them all excellent, and I love them in different ways, perhaps not all equally, but I could watch all of them, and have, numerous times, and still feel the same way about them. This is going to be a bit of a long one, so with out further ado….

JAWS

I have loved JAWS for as long as I can remember. I never really found it scary, but always found it fascinating. The film is perfectly cast, wonderfully acted, beautifully shot, and surely in the top 2 adventure films of all time. The music, the story, the USS Indianapolis speech, Quint. I can watch this film endlessly, although I probably wouldn’t take it to a dessert island, it would certainly put me off swimming. The Father of the modern blockbuster, this film, and the next choice, are, for me perfect. I wouldn’t change a thing.

RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK

It is a hard choice for me to choose between Raiders and JAWS as my favourite film of all time. For me, they are the finest examples of action cinema available. Raiders is responsible for certain decisions I made in my life. Along with another film on this list, Raiders began my love of ancient history, which I went on to study at University. Raiders cheers me up when I’m down, makes me forget about shitty things, or just takes me away for 2 hours for. No matter how much I watch it, it’s still perfect. I wanted to be Indy, I still do, he is the greatest action hero ever created. Spielberg really knocked it out of the park here, in fact I want to watch it now…

KING KONG (1933)

I can remember watching this when I was very young on TV. The black and white perfectly capturing a fairytale nightmare world of Skull Island, and the amazing stop motion work of Willis Obrian. Fay Wray is beautiful, who could fault Kong for falling in love with her? So sad, so exciting, hard to believe it was made in 1933. The Peter Jackson remake is good, but this is better. If you haven’t checked it out, you need to.

THE WOLF MAN (1945)

About 10 years ago I got into the Universal Monsters Classics. I had always liked monsters etc. but had never seen the old classics. My favourite has always been The Wolfman. I loved the look of the Jack Pierce make-up. When I finally saw the film, I fell in love. It’s brilliant, tragic and once more we have a monster doomed by a pretty blonde, is their a pattern emerging here? All the old classic monster films are worth watching, but The Wolfman is my favourite. I liked the recent remake by the way, few others did.

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES

This is another film I happened to see when I was younger. Peter Cushion as Holmes is perfect, the story is slightly racier than other adaptations as this is a Hammer film. I love the black and white Basil Rathbone Holmes too, but Cushion in this role will always be my favourite. Very atmospheric, perfect rainy Sunday afternoon movie.

13TH WARRIOR

I love Vikings. This is my favourite Viking Movie. Based on a Michael Crichton book, Eaters of the Dead, itself a reinterpretation of Beowulf, 13^th Warrior perhaps should be considered a guilty pleasure. No way, why feel guilty about a film this exciting and fun. Vikings vs cannibals? Why aren’t you watching this now?

BATMAN BEGINS

Many people would pick The Dark Knight alone as the best Batman movie, I disagree. The Dark Knight is an amazing movie, but for me, Batman Begins is where it’s at. I couldn’t believe how right Christopher Nolan got this film. After years of Tim Burton weirdness and campy rubbish, Batman Begins was the perfect antidote. Bale is THE Batman, a stellar cast, and great action, and the best teaser for a sequel ever.

JASON AND THE ARGONAUTS

This is the other film that forged my love of ancient history. I have loved this film since before I could talk, and would watch it on a loop. It is in my opinion the finest example of stop motion work ever created, and by the master Ray Harryhausen. It is testament to his skill that he could make you care about, or fear the creatures he created, something the modern remake of Clash of the Titans was so poor at. JATA is a fine adventure film, and wow, that skeleton fight scene.

GOODFELLAS

Goodfellas is, in my opinion, the best crime drama ever made. Great performances, a great story and fantastic music, it is Scorsese at his best. All the casts career best performances. Goodfellas has never been bettered in the mob film genre.

ANCHORMAN

The funniest film I have ever seen. It stands up to repeat viewings and the cast is once again spot on. So good, many of the lines are cliché, how amazing the most of the film was improvised. Can’t wait for the sequel.

HOTROD

Have you seen Hotrod? You really must. It is the other film on this list that I can watch endlessly, and it makes me laugh every time.

FROM DUSK TILL DAWN

When I was 15, this film was the coolest film ever made. Clooney was the fucking man in this, and I don’t think he has ever been better. Two films in one, this is a cool crime thriller and a vampire horror all in one tasty package.

THE LORD OF THE RINGS TRILOGY

I know it’s cheating to pick all three, but you can’t really separate the greatest achievement in cinematic history. If I was forced to pick just one, it would be Fellowship of the Ring, but they are all triple A classics. I was a fan of the books since I was 11, and was very worried that the films wouldn’t live up to my high expectations. I needn’t have worried. Peter Jackson created a masterpiece of fantasy cinema. This is the best trilogy ever made, and I can’t wait till December to see The Hobbit.

THE PRINCESS BRIDE

I always mention this film to friends etc. as one of the greatest of all time, and I always get funny looks. They obviously don’t understand. The greatest sword fight ever, Andre The Giant, pirates, monsters, true love, death, resurrection, evil, good, and friendship? As you wish. One of the best films ever made… that is defiantly not inconceivable.

GLADIATOR

Russell Crowe is immense as Maximus. I love Ridley Scott, and here I believe he delivers his greatest film. I’m fascinated by The Romans, and Gladiator is a great look into ancient Rome, although it is perhaps not 100% accurate. The return to the swords and sandle epic was well over due when this came out, and for me, this eclipsed all other ancient world films that had been made before it.

BROTHERHOOD OF THE WOLF

Based on a true story of the beast of Gevuedan, this French film is an amazing cocktail of monster film, period drama, kung fu epic and thriller. I love love love this film. Take a pinch of Last of the Mohicans, a spoonful of Hound of The Baskervilles and pour in a large drop of Enter the Dragon, and you have a great, unexpected epic about a real life event, that remains unexplained.

300

I am very much aware that this film is style over content, and I don’t care at all. Based on a Frank Miller Comic, which is based on one of histories greatest events, 300 is a comic come to life. Bloody, violent, homoerotic? Awesome. I happen to love Zack Snyder, and I think this film showcases his style perfectly. This is SPARTA.

THE AVENGERS

I know this only came out recently, but I just bloody love it. For me, it is the greatest, purely comic book movie ever made. This was so much fun and the end result of a 5 year plan that seemed impossible at the time. To bring 5 films and their characters together in one giant superhero slugfest was a huge risk, but Joss Whedon and Marvel managed it perfectly. I can’t wait to own this on Bluray. It needs to be in my collection.

THE DARK KNIGHT

Yes I preferred Batman Begins, but The Dark Knight was almost it’s equal. Ledgers Joker blew Nicholson out of the water, we had a great plot, great sequences, Two Face!! Perhaps 20 mins too long, but when a film is this accomplished and excellent, who cares. Surely The Dark Knight Rises will be as good, I do hope so.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

I love Arnie. This is my favourite Arnie role. Conan isn’t a perfect representation of the Cimmerian conqueror, in fact, the recent Jason Mamoa film was closer to the Robert E Howard stories, but I love Arnie’s take. This, along with The Princess Bride, was my favourite classic fantasy film, until The Lord of the Rings. Crom!!

Remake: JAWS

 By @hmsbeefnuts

Eons ago now, I wrote an article about re-making Ghostbusters for a new generation, basically re-casting the classic roles. In no way was I saying that the movie should be re-made, it should not, ever, but it was a fun exercise none the less, well I thought it was. So I thought I would continue my series of imagined re-makes with one of my personal favourite films of all time, JAWS. If anyone actually tried to re-make it in real life I think I would shit a brick, a literal brick, but they aren’t going to, and this is imaginary, so on with the fun!

Chief Martin Brody O.P.B. Roy Scheider

Brody is a tough character to cast. Scheider is so good in the role, bringing every-man charm to our protagonist. Someone then we can route for and like, but still convey Brody’s mortal fear of water. May I suggest Hugh Jackman? OK, so he would have to lose some of that Wolverine physique, but Jackman is one of the most likeable actors in Hollywood. I think he can play every-man, he can play superhero,Wolverine, and loser, Real Steel. I can see Jackman crouched on the sinking Orca as the shark comes towards him, ‘Smile you son of a bitch!’.

Quint O.P.B Robert Shaw

Quint is one of the greatest characters ever created in my view. He is amazing. As such, there are few actors who could bring Quint alive as well as Robert Shaw. My pick for this most awesome of roles goes to Russell Crowe. No stranger to life aboard a ship, check out Master and Commander, Big Russ could bring a great deal to the role of the salty sea dog. I bet he could give a killer U.S.S. Indianapolis speech. Would he be as good? I have trouble thinking anyone could replace Shaw, but if anyone could, then maybe, just maybe Maximus Decimus Meridius could, maybe.

Matt Hooper O.P.B. Richard Dreyfuss

Rounding out our trio of shark hunting heroes, Matt Hooper from the Oceanographic Institute. Younger, rich, an expert on sharks, Dreyfuss was again perfect in the role. Why am I racking my brains to try and recast this perfectly cast film? Well I can’t stop now, so I’m going for Ryan Reynolds. Handsome and at home with both comedy and more serious roles, casting Ryan Reynolds could allow for the remake to include parts of the novel that Spielberg didn’t choose to film. For example, in the novel Ellen Brody and Hooper have thought about an affair, a nice little side story that would work well with Reynolds.

Ellen Brody O.P.B. Lorraine Gary

Ellen Brody, at least in my mind, should be smart, sexy, a good mum and a strong woman. If we are going to go with the added plot point of a possible affair with Matt Hooper, she should also be drop dead gorgeous. May I suggest, Charlize Theron. A great actress and a stunning beauty, Ms. Theron would fit the bill exactly.

Mayor Larry Vaughan O.P.B. Murray Hamilton

I don’t know why, but the first name that came to mind when I thought about who to cast as Mayor Vaughan was Morgan Freeman, and the more I think about it, the more I like it. Freeman is obviously a great actor, and does extremely well in small, but important roles (see Nolan’s Batman franchise). Freeman can play pompous well, but can also do remorse and worry. Morgan Freeman is in my mind, a great choice for Mayor Vaughan.

Mrs. Kitner O.P.B. Lee Fierro

A figure of sympathy, pain and remorse, she has two big scenes and as such needs to be able to handle the emotions of losing her son to that bastard shark. For no other reason than I really fancy her, I would cast Kate Beckinsale. She is also a great actress, but I mainly fancy her.

Alex Kitner O.P.B. Jeffrey Voorhees

Another small role, but I hate when kids can’t act and ruin films. Kitner needs to be played by a smart kid who can act and I would like to suggest Brandon Stark himself, Isaac Hempstead Wright. A great actor and the beginning of his movie career.

Ben Gardner O.P.B. Craig Kingsbury

A tiny tiny role. Basically only a head is needed for THAT shocking moment. Can I suggest Paul Giamatti? If you have read my stuff before, you know why.

Chrissie Watkins O.P.B. Susan Backlinie

A tiny, but pivotal role, Chrissie Watkins is basically victim number 1, but her death is shocking and meaningful, and should resonate for the rest of the film. I’m imagining a bit of Scream style stunt casting, where a well known actress buys the farm early on. Watkins is a teenager, should be good looking, with the possibility of some nudity, she does die skinny dipping after all. My choice would be Jennifer Lawrence. She is Hollywood’s next big thing, and suitably famous after X-Men First Class and The Hunger Games. Her death would be shocking enough that the film would make a bold statement.

So those are my picks, and remember, in no way do I want this film to be remade, IT SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN. But this has been a fun exercise, at least for me, and I hope you have enjoyed it too. Did I make any glaring errors? Would you pick different actors? Let us know below.