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Archive for the tag “remake”

Movie of the Month: April 2013

By Hmsbeefnuts and Geeky Gem

Iron Man 3

Well I guess it’s April, and that means that it’s time for me to pick a movie of the month. Easy Choice for me this month, the start of Marvel Phase 2, Iron Man 3 looks like it’s going to be brilliant. Love Downey Jnr. Love Shane Black, love Iron Man, love Marvel. It’s gona kick Summer off in a big way. What will be the post credits sequence? So exciting, check out the trailer…


Well I am not going to lie, Iron Man 3 looks amazing. However as I have to pick something else I think you should go see I have gone with the Evil Dead. I love the original movie and the fact it was banned for so long made me only like it more. If you dont know the story it follows Five friends that head to a remote cabin, where the discovery of the Book of the Dead leads them to unwittingly summon up demons living in the nearby woods. The evil presence possesses them until only one is left to fight for survival. Now the trailer I am going to show you at the bottom is the red band trailer, as the green band one really waters it down and that’s just no fun.

Geeky Gem

Re-make – Jason and the Argonauts

By @hmsbeefnuts

Hello, once again you find me pondering a film that probably should never ever be remade, but that I have decided it might be fun to recast in my head. Unlike Ghostbusters or JAWS, I would not wholeheartedly mind a remake of Jason and the Argonauts, as long as it was nothing like the awful Clash, and Wrath of the Titans. May I also suggest that although obviously Ray Harryhausen’s amazing stop motion work wouldn’t be featured, perhaps he could be part of the design team, and show the young whipper-snappers how monsters should really look and act. I think that the structure of the original movie is pretty perfect, however, perhaps we can shake up the crew of the Argo a bit, dip back into the original myth and feature a few more of the Argonauts.

I’m also going to split this into Immortals and Mortals, and The Gods get to go first…



ZEUS – Anthony Hopkins

You can’t really argue with Hopkins. He brings gravitas to every role. He was great as Odin in Thor, and I think it only correct that he gets to play another King of the Gods. Zeus is a little unstable, Hopkins does crazy well. Match made on Olympus?


POSIEDON – Brendan Gleeson

Ah Brendan Gleeson. One of my favourite older actors. Has done similar work before in Troy, but lets give him the chance to sink his teeth, or trident, into the murky depths of the wine dark sea. The God of the Ocean needs a fine beard, Gleeson fits the bill.


HERA – Helen Mirren

A very beautiful older lady, and a fine actress, who else could play the wife of Zeus, and Jason’s guardian angel? British actors/actresses are made to play ancient people and gods in films like this, and after playing a few Queens, why not Queen of the Gods?


HERMES – Kevin McKidd

Hermes is a younger God, in fact, the messenger of the Gods. I imagine this would be a smaller role, but important. I like Kevin Mckidd in everything, especially Rome. He also has previous God experience from Percy Jackson. He may see this as a demotion, play Hermes, but I would like a great actor in the role, and also, a bit of a Rome reunion with a few of our mortals would be fun to see on screen.



JASON – Christian Bale

Bale is great, in everything, but he hasn’t done a role quite like this before. One of my favourite actors, this could be his Gladiator, but with monsters and Gods. He has the right heroic look, and who s anyone to question the choice of Batman?


HERCULES – Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson

There is only one man who could conceivably play Hercules, The Rock. He would have to tone down his accent, but his personality could remain. Hercules is going to be a little in awe of himself, The Rock is the most awesome guy on the planet, plus he has the build for it. Forget the Scorpion King, The Rock is a more accomplished actor now.


MEDEA – Eva Green

The foreign temptress that falls for our hero Jason. The daughter of the King of Colchis needs to be exotic, beautiful and very very sexy. Eva Green ticks all these boxes, and is a fine actress to boot. Plus it gives me an opportunity to post a picture of her, which is never a bad thing.


ATALANTA – Gina Carano

In myth, Atalanta had a tough life. Her father wanted a son, and when she was born, her father left her to die in the wilderness. She was raised by a she-bear and became a fierce fighter and hunter. She pledged her virginity to the Goddess Artemis, and when two centaurs tried to rape her, she killed them. A fierce warrior, and one of the few female characters needs to hold her own against the boys club or the Argo. Carano is not only very beautiful, but is legit hard as nails. A simple choice.


ARGUS – Sean Bean

The builder of The Argo, Argus is Greece’s greatest shipwright. So I’ve picked one of my favourite actors for the role. Bean is great in stuff like this, and I hear he doesn’t like roles that go on for ever, so if necessary, he can bow out early, but it’s a smaller role anyway, Beano would be perfect.


CASTOR – James Purefoy

Along with his brother Pollux, I see Castor bringing a little comic relief. Fighting brothers striving to out do each other. Purefoy is one of my favourite actors, brilliant in Rome and Solomon Kane, and the second member of our Rome reunion, Purefoy picks himself.


POLLUX – Ray Stevenson

I love Ray Stevenson, he is brilliant. One of the best things in Rome, Stevenson is a force of nature, with a childish grin and a sense of fun. He can bring some comic relief, but when the shit hits the fan, he can bring the brute force.


ACASTUS – Michael Fassbender

Pelias’ son and the bad seed among the Argonauts. Fassbender has that look in his eye, dangerous, vengeful. Undoubtedly a brilliant actor, Fassbender would be great as the jealous rival to Bale’s Jason, and I want to see Batman and Magneto beat the shit out of each other.


PHINEAS – Ian Mckellen

The man who was cursed by Zeus to be blind after his arrogance, and tormented by Harpies. Ian Mckellen is just brilliant isn’t he? OK, it is a tiny role, but a memorable one, and who better to offer Jason advice than Gandalf himself?


KING AEETES – Liam Neeson

A villain with a point of view, Liam Neeson can bring something a little extra to the role of the king who guards The Golden Fleece. He is the third acts villain, but how would you like it if a bunch of Greeks rocked up and stole your God given gift? Majorly pissed off. Liam can bring his particular set of skills to the King of Colchis.


PELIAS – Brian Cox

The Man who conquered Jason’s Father’s kingdom and who now rules it. Also the man who sends Jason on the Quest for the Golden Fleece, thinking he has no chance of succeeding, and would die in the attempt. Brian Cox does evil extremely well. Previous similar roles in Troy and X-Men 2, prove Cox is a great choice as bad guy.

Remake: JAWS

 By @hmsbeefnuts

Eons ago now, I wrote an article about re-making Ghostbusters for a new generation, basically re-casting the classic roles. In no way was I saying that the movie should be re-made, it should not, ever, but it was a fun exercise none the less, well I thought it was. So I thought I would continue my series of imagined re-makes with one of my personal favourite films of all time, JAWS. If anyone actually tried to re-make it in real life I think I would shit a brick, a literal brick, but they aren’t going to, and this is imaginary, so on with the fun!

Chief Martin Brody O.P.B. Roy Scheider

Brody is a tough character to cast. Scheider is so good in the role, bringing every-man charm to our protagonist. Someone then we can route for and like, but still convey Brody’s mortal fear of water. May I suggest Hugh Jackman? OK, so he would have to lose some of that Wolverine physique, but Jackman is one of the most likeable actors in Hollywood. I think he can play every-man, he can play superhero,Wolverine, and loser, Real Steel. I can see Jackman crouched on the sinking Orca as the shark comes towards him, ‘Smile you son of a bitch!’.

Quint O.P.B Robert Shaw

Quint is one of the greatest characters ever created in my view. He is amazing. As such, there are few actors who could bring Quint alive as well as Robert Shaw. My pick for this most awesome of roles goes to Russell Crowe. No stranger to life aboard a ship, check out Master and Commander, Big Russ could bring a great deal to the role of the salty sea dog. I bet he could give a killer U.S.S. Indianapolis speech. Would he be as good? I have trouble thinking anyone could replace Shaw, but if anyone could, then maybe, just maybe Maximus Decimus Meridius could, maybe.

Matt Hooper O.P.B. Richard Dreyfuss

Rounding out our trio of shark hunting heroes, Matt Hooper from the Oceanographic Institute. Younger, rich, an expert on sharks, Dreyfuss was again perfect in the role. Why am I racking my brains to try and recast this perfectly cast film? Well I can’t stop now, so I’m going for Ryan Reynolds. Handsome and at home with both comedy and more serious roles, casting Ryan Reynolds could allow for the remake to include parts of the novel that Spielberg didn’t choose to film. For example, in the novel Ellen Brody and Hooper have thought about an affair, a nice little side story that would work well with Reynolds.

Ellen Brody O.P.B. Lorraine Gary

Ellen Brody, at least in my mind, should be smart, sexy, a good mum and a strong woman. If we are going to go with the added plot point of a possible affair with Matt Hooper, she should also be drop dead gorgeous. May I suggest, Charlize Theron. A great actress and a stunning beauty, Ms. Theron would fit the bill exactly.

Mayor Larry Vaughan O.P.B. Murray Hamilton

I don’t know why, but the first name that came to mind when I thought about who to cast as Mayor Vaughan was Morgan Freeman, and the more I think about it, the more I like it. Freeman is obviously a great actor, and does extremely well in small, but important roles (see Nolan’s Batman franchise). Freeman can play pompous well, but can also do remorse and worry. Morgan Freeman is in my mind, a great choice for Mayor Vaughan.

Mrs. Kitner O.P.B. Lee Fierro

A figure of sympathy, pain and remorse, she has two big scenes and as such needs to be able to handle the emotions of losing her son to that bastard shark. For no other reason than I really fancy her, I would cast Kate Beckinsale. She is also a great actress, but I mainly fancy her.

Alex Kitner O.P.B. Jeffrey Voorhees

Another small role, but I hate when kids can’t act and ruin films. Kitner needs to be played by a smart kid who can act and I would like to suggest Brandon Stark himself, Isaac Hempstead Wright. A great actor and the beginning of his movie career.

Ben Gardner O.P.B. Craig Kingsbury

A tiny tiny role. Basically only a head is needed for THAT shocking moment. Can I suggest Paul Giamatti? If you have read my stuff before, you know why.

Chrissie Watkins O.P.B. Susan Backlinie

A tiny, but pivotal role, Chrissie Watkins is basically victim number 1, but her death is shocking and meaningful, and should resonate for the rest of the film. I’m imagining a bit of Scream style stunt casting, where a well known actress buys the farm early on. Watkins is a teenager, should be good looking, with the possibility of some nudity, she does die skinny dipping after all. My choice would be Jennifer Lawrence. She is Hollywood’s next big thing, and suitably famous after X-Men First Class and The Hunger Games. Her death would be shocking enough that the film would make a bold statement.

So those are my picks, and remember, in no way do I want this film to be remade, IT SHOULD NEVER HAPPEN. But this has been a fun exercise, at least for me, and I hope you have enjoyed it too. Did I make any glaring errors? Would you pick different actors? Let us know below.

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