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Wednesday Whimsy

Wednesday WhimsyBy: Caelrona

Hiya all! Caelrona here with another steaming cup o’ Wednesday Whimsy for you all. Last week I told you all about how I was going to attempt to stick to HMS’s Wednesday Whimsy style of more or less posting about my week, and it didn’t go nearly as terribly as I thought it would. I mean I sort of felt like I was writing a diary entry, but the finished product wasn’t quite as bad as I thought it would be. However, this week while attempting to write my post I came to the realization that, holy shit my life is boring. Seriously, I couldn’t even come up with one paragraph. The most significant things I’ve done this past week were to buy a ridiculously awesome fuzzy pink hat with bear ears and lose my wallet – all in the same trip, so that was the most exciting two hours of my week. Not exactly blog material, right there. So this week I’m taking us back to my Top 10 Favorite Movies. Now, I know, I’ve already told you about them in a twopart blog. However as I was creating my list for those blogs, I ended up with more than just 10 movies. Some movies made my list at first, but then got bumped because I thought up a movie I loved just as much. Sacrifices had to be made, and I ended up with a small list of amazing movies I really love, that just wouldn’t fit. So without further ado, here are my Top 10 Favorite Movies: Honorable Mentions.

 

Krull

Krull was released in 1983 by Barclays Mercantile in conjunction with Industrial Finance and released by Columbia Pictures. It is an epic styled Science Fiction and Fantasy with a runtime of 121 minutes. The story takes place on the planet of Krull, where the evil being known as ‘The Beast’ and his army of ‘Slayers’ have invaded. Two rival kingdoms decide to unite as one in order to defend against the Beast’s incursion. The union is to be solidified by the marriage of Princess Lyssa and Prince Colwyn, whom come to love each other. During the marriage ceremony The Beast attacks and kidnaps Princess Lyssa, for it is foretold that she will bear a child destined to rule the Galaxy. Prince Colwyn must quest to find and defeat the Beast so that he may save his love, and his planet. This is a really great old-questy type of movie – if you are into those type of things. You might recognize it off of GeekyGem’s list; seems we both love it! I haven’t been able to find a DVD version so expect the grainy goodness that comes from watching old-school VHS. I first watched this movie when I was a wee little girl of maybe 3 or 4 and immediately loved it. Although, I will admit that part of my initial love of this movie is that my name is in it. Nothing holds a small girl captive like having the Princess in a movie share their name. The monster was a little creepy back then (to be honest, still is) but it didn’t scar me for life to watch it at that age (or did it? Ha <.<; ) so it is fairly family friendly in my opinion.

 

Resident Evil

Resident Evil was released in 2002-Current by Constantin Film in conjunction with New Legacy Films, Davis Films and Impact Pictures and was released by Screen Gems in the USA and Pathé in the UK. It is a Horror Fantasy film and the entire series of movies to-date has a runtime of 481 minutes. The series follows the life of a woman named Alice through the zombie apocalypse and beyond. The sixth in the series, Resident Evil: Retribution was just released not too long ago and looks awesome! Is 12 too young to love zombies? I honestly think that is when my obsession with them began. I’ve never played the games (I know, I know. I need to,) but the movies caught my attention; and more importantly they’ve kept it. There are a lot of movies series that lose quality as they progress; each sequel seems to be worse and worse. Maybe it is the zombies talking, but Resident Evil doesn’t do that; at least not for me. Probably not for the kiddies; but definitely a great watch!

 

How To Train Your Dragon

How to Train Your Dragon was made in 2010 by Dreamworks Animation in conjunction with Pacific Data Images and released by Paramount Pictures. It is an animated fantasy adventure movie with a runtime of 98 minutes. It follows an awkward teenage Viking named Hiccup who aspires to follow his tribe’s traditions and become a Dragon Slayer. When he captures a dragon he finds that he is unwilling to kill it and instead befriends it. But hiding a dragon from a village of Dragon Slayers is about as easy as it sounds. How to Train Your Dragon is a great film. When I first saw the trailer my reaction was this sort of odd cross between fan-girl squealing and shout of ‘OMGIWANNASEETHAT!’ What can I say? I love dragons; and this film didn’t disappoint. I saw it twice in theatre and got my hands on a copy of it as soon as I could. This is a fantastic film for all ages; kids will love it and so will adults.

 

The Scorpion King

The Scorpion King was made in 2002 by WWE Studios in conjunction with Alphaville and released by Universal Studios. It is a fantasy-historical action film with a runtime of 92 minutes. The Scorpion King is a prequel/spin-off of The Mummy series of movies, following Mathayus, the Scorpion King, a small character featured in The Mummy Returns. The Scorpion King follows Mathayus and his rise to power as the legendary Scorpion King. Mathayus begins his tale as one of the last of the Akkadians, a race of unparalleled mercenaries and assassins. He is hired to take out the Sorcerer of the tyrant Memnon, but unfortunately – or perhaps fortunately – not all goes to plan. Instead of killing the sorcerer he kidnaps her, and eventually the two learn that they have more in common than originally thought – including a common enemy, the tyrant king Memnon. Mathayus must battle King Memnon to save his Sorceress, whom he has come to love. The Scorpion King has been one of my favorite movies for a long time. It is my go-to movie for sick-in-bed days. I’m not sure why it has held its appeal for all these years; it just has. There is plenty of action to keep me happy, plus it was one of the first things Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson acted in, so there’s always that to make it awesome.

 

Robin Hood: Men In Tights

Robin Hood: Men In Tights was released in 1993 by Gaumont in conjunction with Brooksfilms, and was released by 20th Century Fox, Columbia Tristar Films and Distributors International. It is a fantasy-action comedy, with a runtime of 104 minutes. Robin Hood: Men In Tights is a comedic romp through the tale of Robin Hood. It follows Robin of Loxely and his band of Merry Men in their campaign to oust the odious Prince John, whom has taken control of the kingdom whilst his brother, the good King Richard, is off fighting in the crusades. Robin also endeavors to regain his family lands and save the fair Maid Marian from the unsavory advances of the Sheriff of Rottingham. I know that there are other Robin Hood movies out there; some arguably better than RH:MIT. However, this has always been one of my favorite movies. It is always great for a laugh, plus Cary Elwes is fantastic in this. I saw it when I was fairly young, and it quickly cemented its place as one of my favorite movies.

 

Well, there you have it! The finishing touches on my list of favorite movies. Cutting these from the original list was a hard thing to do. I love all these movies just as much as the ones that made the actual list, and I felt that they deserved mentioning as well. I have my reasons for not including them in the Top 10, but rest assured that entertainment value was not one of those reasons. These movies are all excellent films, and if you haven’t seen any of them then I highly suggest you plunk your rear end in a seat and turn on the DVD player, because you are sorely missing out. There are a lot of other great films out there, but for me these take the cake.

Until next time;

Caelrona – signing off! ❤

All Geek To Me’s Geek Olympics: Fencing

By @hmsbeefnuts

I don’t know about you, but for months, if not years, I have been fed up with all this Olympic nonsense. I get it, it’s cool that the lesser sports get a great big competition to see who is the best, but by Zeus, I find it incredibly boring. There are some bright spots though. Fencing, wrestling, boxing, javelin etc. are all cool events, it’s just that all the stupid rules get in the way of me having a good time. It was then with a slightly mischievous glint in my rolling eyes, that I decided to pick a few choice Olympic sports and hold a Geek Character Olympic games, a far more interesting prospect than the real boring ones that are currently on going. All characters and real people are eligible to enter the Geek Olympics, and a few interesting (hopefully) events will take place. Oh and there can be only one, so no silver, no bronze, just gold, the Geek Olympics have no place for losers.

OPENING CEREMONY

I have organised this celebration of awesome physical feats, and as such, I get to pick the acts for the opening ceremony. So here goes. We start things off nice and folksy with a performance by Flight of the Conchords, as everyone has a gentle introduction to the madness that is to come. A few toe tapping songs later, and our next act comes to the stage, The Lonely Island. The boys, joined by Mr Timberlake rock the stadium as a Human Torch relay is taking place. Johnny Storm is carried around the stadium by all the participants. Finally, as The Lonely Island’s set comes to an end, The Hulk carries the Human Torch up the steps of a gigantic platform and throws him at the Geek Olympic symbol, setting it on fire. We are almost ready. Just time for our last and best act, Tenacious D rock the crowds socks off with a storming set as some dragons do a fly by and a firework display, provided courtesy of V and Gandalf lights up the sky. With the ceremony over, it is time for our first events.

FENCING

Our contenders for the fencing gold medal are, Robin Hood (Errol Flynn Version), Inigo Montoya, Count Dooku, Syrio Forel, Ezio Auditore, Captain Jack Sparrow, Colin McCloud and Zorro. McCloud faces Montoya in heat 1. There can be only one, but Montoya knows something McCloud doesn’t, Inigo isn’t left handed, Montoya goes through easily with a killing swipe that takes the Highlanders head. Heat 2 Cpt. Jack faces up to the dancing teacher himself, Syrio Forel. Both unique individuals, this heat goes on for a while, with Jack’s unusual ‘drunken’ style making a fool out of the former First Sword of Braavos. Back and for the match goes, until Jack is distracted by the glint of the Gold medal, displayed near the arena, Forel, lunges, Jack falls, and Forel is through to the next round.

Robin Hood and the devious Count Dooku face each other next, Dooku is forced to use a formal sword, no lightsabres here. Unused to the extra weight, and due to the fact he is old as shit, Robin Hood easily overcomes him, a cut to the hand makes Dooku drop his sword, and with a slap of the tights, Robin of Loxley is through to the next round. Heat 4 has Ezio Auditore, master Assassin, and Zorro cross rapiers. But before the match can start, Ezio goes to shake hands, as Zorro reaches out, Ezio unleashes his hidden blade, one swift jump kill later, and Zorro is no more. On to the Semi- Finals!!!

Inigo Montoya draws Ezio Auditore, and after what happened to Zorro, Montoya is taking no chances. The match starts and Inigo begins his first attack, Ezio is dodging, trying to get away, but Inigo is able to keep up. Steel clashes on steel, and minutes pass without a break in the deadlock. But then Inigo has a thought; ‘You wouldn’t happen to have 6 fingers on your right hand?’, Inigo asks Ezio, confused by the question, Ezio drops his guard, only for Inigo to stab the Italian Assassin to death. Inigo through to the final. That leaves Syrio Forel and Robin Hood, in semi-final 2. Robin is having a great time, laughing and joking with the crowd, and laughing at Syrio and his dancing style. Not being taken seriously annoys the Braavosi and he flings himself at Hood. All of a sudden silver flashes and metallic clashes ring out with renewed fury. Syrio over stretches, Robin slaps Syrio’s arse with his sword, a fatal mistake, Syrio launches his sword behind him, straight into the laughing face of Hood. Lesson? Always take sword fights seriously!!

OK its time for the first final, the big one, the Gold Medal contest between Syrio Forel and Inigo Montoya. The final takes place in a ruined castle, stair cases, rocks and chandeliers. Its going to be good. Both men are pretty evenly matched, masters of many different styles. Both men walk to the centre, salute each other with their swords and then… en guarde!!! A flurry of sword strikes is almost blindingly hard to see. The crowd is on edge as the fight goes back and forth, up stairs, down stairs, swinging on the chandeliers and the exact cutting of conveniently placed candles. It seems the Braavosi and the Spaniard are an even match, even the left handed/right handed trick doesn’t work, both men have studied there fencing well. For four hours both men put on a show that puts all other contests to shame. However, it all comes down to conditioning, and Inigo is a younger man than the retired First Sword of Braavos, a trip over a lose step, put Forel on his front, defenceless. Inigo draws his sword to the throat of the downed man. But something stops him from striking; ‘I would sooner destroy a work of art than a master like yourself, yield to me.’ Syrio agrees, the Inigo helps Syrio up, and the two men hug it out. Winner Inigo Montoya.

That’s it for this time, there will be more events coming, and hopefully you will stick around to see what happens? Until next time…

SUMMER KNIGHTS: TOP 10 SWORDSMEN IN FILM

By @hmsbeefnuts

Knights have swords, everyone knows that. So in a thinly constructed link to our Summer Knights season of articles, I have decided to write a few words about my personal favourite blokes who wield swords. Hardly any of these are knights, but they all have swords, so it counts, it defiantly counts.

CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Conan is the ultimate sword based badass. No stupid barbarian is he, but a clever, and deadly opponent, a match for any man, woman, monster, demon or God. Taught from a young age to end lives with his blade, Conan has been awesome at being a buccaneer, warrior, corsair, thief, gladiator and every other conceivable sword based career type you can mention. His sword is awesome, he killed wolves and wore there skins as a cloak, and dammit just read some Conan or watch the original movie, you wont be sorry.

SOLOMON KANE

Who said religious guys weren’t fucking badass? An ex pirate, reformed because the Devil wants his soul, Solomon becomes a Puritan hero fighting evil all around the Globe. His pirating skills obviously help a lot when you are fighting demons and monsters, and the guy can dual wield swords like a mother fucker.

INIGO MONTOYA

Anyone who’s Father dies at the hands of a six fingered man, swears revenge, and dedicates his life to the pursuit of revenge, despite there being little money in it, is alright by me. Inigo is a permed Spanish Badass, fair, yet deadly. A future Dread Pirate Roberts, Inigo is a master with a blade. His fight with The Dread Pirate Roberts, is one of the greatest fights in cinema history, and boy, what a catch phrase… Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my Father. Prepare to die!!!

ROBIN HOOD

Robin of Loxley, hero of the crusades, a noble man who fights for the common man, against the combined evil of King (Prince) John, The Sheriff of Nottingham and Guy of Guisborne. More noted as an archer, and why not he is very very good, Robin is also quite adept as a swordsman. His fight against Guy of Guisborne In The Adventures of Robin Hood, is the standard against which all subsequent sword fights should be set. The guy is a legend, even as a fox, he could wield a sword better than most humans, suck it most humans.

ARAGORN

Aragorn is a man trapped by destiny. He is destined to reclaim the throne of Gondor, but he doesn’t spend his time trying to stay alive until his time is right, he spends it fighting Orcs, Cave Trolls and Ring Wraiths. Absolute middle earth bad ass.

OBI WAN KENOBI

Ben is responsible for besting more Sith Lords than any other. He cut Darth Maul in half, sliced the shit out of his former best friend and pupil Darth Vader, and chose to become one with the force in an old age rematch. Lightsabers are cool, and for my money Obi Wan is the best at lightsabers, simple.

ACHILLES

Achilles is a killing machine, he can barely move his arm and kill you. Every move is measured and deliberate. His finishing move, the jumping lunge, is as deadly as the Leg Drop of Doom, or The F5.

MAXIMUS DECIMUS MERIDIUS

General, gladiator, farmer, Father to a murdered son, Husband to a murdered wife, Maximus is a stone cold badass with a gladius. The shorter Roman sword isn’t an easy weapon to master, but Maximus, decimates the competition. Dispensing sword advice to his adversaries, throwing swords like a knife, and fighting tigers and Emperors, Maximus is the Roman equivalent of Batman. It doesn’t get any better.

NED STARK

In the land of Westeros, everyone fears Ser Jaime Lannister. Renowned as the greatest swordsman in the land, in both battle and tourney. However, there is one man, one man in Westeros, who could not give less of a fuck about Ser Jaime’s sword skills. Ned Stark, Lord of Winterfell, Hand of the King, and owner of the biggest sword this side of the Wall, is the baddest most Knightly, honourable man in the whole kingdom, and is an absolute dude with a sword. If he and Jaime ever got the chance to go at it, without interference, my money would be on Ned.

JASON

In a ship full of the greatest heroes in all of Greece, Jason alone is the man who survives a fight with 7 viscous skeletal warriors. No mean feat to fight the undead, especially since you cant stab them, or cut them. Jason is cool, even though his sword looks like a gardening implement.

Summer Knights: Top 5 Sword Fights

By Geeky Gem

Now I love nothing more than to watch a good movie, throw in a sword fight and I am a happy girl. Upon hearing that Hmsbeefnuts would be doing a a Summer Knights theme for this month I had a hard time thinking about what I could do. As we decided not to let everything focus on Batman we thought we could branch out and share other things with the class. That is why I am going to share with you my top 5 sword fights. Now I have included  a video with each of these so you know what  I am talking about.

Westley vs Inigo – The Princess Bride

If you haven’t seen The Princess Bride where have you been, it an awesome movie. Very funny and has some great sword fights in it. This being one of them. Here Westley is fighting Inigo, the fight is witty and fun. Why I am telling you just watch this clip.

 

 

Anakin vs Obi-Wan – Star Wars III: Revenge the Sith

My feelings for the Star Wars prequels aside I had to included this epic conclusion in Anakin’s story. There was something about this fight that was just frankly amazing. As much as I like the fight between  Obi-Wan, Qui-Gin Jinn and Darth Maul, this one was just what the prequels were all about.

 

Jason vs The Skeletons – Jason and the Argonauts

As we here at All Geek have mentioned a number of times we love the work of Ray Harryhausen so it would be a crime not to have this on the list. I love this fight so much its just genius pure and simple. Don’t believe me, take a look for yourself.

 

 

Robin Hood vs Guy of Gisboure – The Adventures of Robin Hood

No list would be complete without at least one fight from the fantastic Robin Hood. Here we see him fighting Sir Guy of Gisboure who is a nasty piece of work. I love this movie as well, old school sword fighting at it its best.

 

 

Aragon vs Lurtz – The Lord of the Rings

this fight is just the start of some of the best fights in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It had me on the edge of my seat the first time I saw it and it still has the same effect now. It is brilliant, so I’ll shut up and let you watch Aragon vs Lurtz in peace.

 

 

That brings us to the end of the sword fighting I hope you enjoyed the fights here as much as I did. I am sure I could think of more that I have missed out but these are the ones that stick in my mind when I think about sword fights and the epicness they bring to any movie.

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