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Autumn of Terror: Killer Killers

By Geeky Gem

We all love a good horror, well people who like horror like a good horror movie. Now a horror movie wouldn’t be a horror movie with out some deranged killer on the loose would be, so here we are going to have a look at just a few.

Leatherface – Texas Chain Saw Massacre

Leatherface is firstly a killer, secondly he gets his name from the fact he wears a mask made from human skin. These are the first two things you need to know about Leatherface, the others are that he likes eat people and share them with his family. I think that’s really all we need to know and that’s enough. Leatherface was first played by Gunner Hannsen.

Freddy Krueger – A Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger I think will be one of the all time killer’s in movies. I can’t think of a person who doesn’t know this dream killer. Bought to the screen by Wes Craven and played by the scary as hell Robert Englund Freddy was the think of Nightmare on Elm Street and beyond. I’ve seen all of these movies and each one gets a little stranger but that’s not to say they aren’t good. Freddy even gets his own rhyme, which is kinda cool. However we must never forget why he is a killer in the first place, he killed children and then the angry Parents killed him and so his spirit can now only kill in dreams.

Jason Voorhees – Friday the 13th

I know, I know Jason wasnt the killer in the first movie his mother Mrs Voorhees was but I couldn’t have this list with out him. Jason has been played by many people but the most well-known of these guys is Kane Hodder who played him for four movies. Jason is only seen in the first movie in the memories of his mother and the nightmares of Alice. It later turns out he is in fact alive and knows his mother is dead so goes about trying to kill Alice. Jason is best known to us for wearing a hockey mask and carrying a ruddy big machete.

Michael Myers – Halloween

Michael Myers is best known for helping Jamie-Lee Curtis scream real loud and make my best screams list. Well that’s not true really, He was bought to life by John Carpenter and played by Nick Castle for most of the first film, he carry on to hunt Laurie for a few of films including Halloween H2O. Not sure why, but he does plus he has a really big knife. No remember you can shot him and make sure he falls out  second story window but this doesn’t mean he’s dead.

Ghost Face – Scream

Ghostface was a killer for a new generation, when Scream first came out we were all still living in the world of Jason and Freddy and although these slasher movies were good we need some new blood as it were. That’s where Wes Caravan came back in and bought us Ghostface and the terror of Woodsboro. Ghost Face seems to want to kill Sidney Prescott and the details emerge with each movie as to way. In the first film Ghostface is played by Skeet Ulrich along with Matthew Lillard, who’s character’s created the identity in order to kill Sidney because of her mother’s affair with Billy’s father. After that it was played by two different characters in each movie with numerous red herrings throughout the movies. However the voice has always been played by Roger L. Jackson, Ghostface uses a voice changer to hide his voice and kills his victims with a hunting knife.

There we have it folks, a brief look at just some serial killers that have stalked babysitter’s, telephoned their victims and given them a pop quiz. They have also drowned in lakes and come back to life, used human skin to mask their faces and haunted dreams to scary you to death. So untill next time I suggest you read up on the rules and make sure your safe to close your eyes.

Autumn of Terror: Halloween Movie Marathon

By @hmsbeefnuts

I love Halloween, I’m not quite sure why, but I love it. When I was a kid, we obviously went trick or treating, and it was fun, but it also made me incredibly sad. Why you ask? Well you see, where I lived, Halloween was never that big a deal. My parents tried their best and they always made it fun, but what I wanted to experience was that Halloween amazingness that every American child has every year. I was majorly jealous. There is something heart-warming about the entire community coming together, dressing up as monsters and ghouls in order to eat sweets and more importantly, ward off the dead for another year. It seems strange that the Americans take All Hallows Eve far more seriously than us Brits, because originally, it’s our bloody festival!! But anyway, good luck to them, I’m just a bitter, jealous man who can no longer dress up as a werewolf, or vampire and go knocking on doors for sweets, people thought I was weird last year for some reason…

 

I have then, been forced to find different outlets in order to have fun this Halloween. I have considered Ghost Walks, and Ghost Tours, but I imagine that the worst day to attend one of these is on Halloween, far too busy, I’ll go the day after. There are costume parties of course, but to be honest, I don’t drink, and the thought of being trapped in a house with fifty odd pissed up monsters, beloved characters and slutty vampires (wait, maybe I will have a party), is a bit of a nightmare. I couldn’t get anyone to attend a Black Mass at the local grave yard, and it’s hard to find the local Witches Coven in the Yellow pages, and the Google search I did, whilst visually stimulating wasn’t really what I was after. Time to rummage through the DVD shelves, invite a select few friends, slutty vampire costumes optional, but preferred, make some themed food and drinks, and sit back and get our scare on in a Halloween Movie Marathon.

I’ve tried to get a good varied selection together for today’s Marathon, so we don’t get bored, or feel the need to do something productive, as enthusiasm is at its peak, I have gone for Nosferatu. Yes it’s a silent movie, and black and white, but the eerie feeling that the film exudes is a good Omen (see what I did there?) for the films to come, we are all drawn into the nightmare unfolding on screen, and it is a great way to kick off this night. Oh by the way, I won’t be reviewing these films, but this will be more about the atmosphere and general mood of the evening. The film holds us in a sort of rapture, halfway through, the snacks stop being snacked and we are drawn into the silent horror. Once the film is over we snap out of the trance, and everyone says how surprised they are that they liked it and how creepy it was, score one for me I think.

A change of pace perhaps, and our first vote of the night. Well our contenders are Paranormal Activity, The Last Exorcism and An American Werewolf in London. We vote American Werewolf 5 – 3, and so off to the moors of England we go, beware the moon. We have all seen this before, and so a different atmosphere descends, not the eerie silence of Nosferatu, but a jovial talkative atmosphere, joking about when we first saw it, our favourite bit and Jenny Agutter in the shower. The energy levels in the room are at a peak, and everyone is having a great time with John Landis’ masterpiece. The film seems to fly by, considerably more crisps are eaten and drinks are drunk, and before we know it Jenny Agutter is crying and the werewolf isn’t a wolf any more, this doesn’t dampen our spirits though, onwards to….

The losers of the vote demand Paranormal Activity, and so we slip it in to the DVD player and off we go. Once more discussions range from, ‘Is the girl attractive?‘ we decide yes of course she is, and ‘how much of a dick is her boyfriend?‘ The men decide that they would be better boyfriend material then the dick in the film as the girls tut, and the first half of the film passes in this manner. The second half is a different matter, watching Paranormal Activity at home, is a different thing all together than in a cinema, this movie was made for DVD. Once the shit really hits the fan we are all jumping and going along with the action on screen, one member of the group, who has not seen it before is quite scared, this is defiantly the way to watch this movie. During one of the security camera montages, the door bell rings and some of the more unstable members jump, but it wasn’t a Demon, merely the Pizza Guy.

A short break is the order of the day as the sun goes down outside and the night begins proper. The X-Box gets turned on and a few games of Nazi Zombies later, and a few toilet breaks, we are ready to continue. I decide that I should choose the next film, and go for the little known Trick ‘r Treat. No one has seen this before, I had heard good things online, and so this is the first film tonight no one has seen. Wow, it is great. A myriad of stories all take place in a town on Halloween, and nasty things happen. This film has a bit of everything in it and it once more energises the room. Hot girls, nasty surprises, and spooky pumpkin headed kids all add to the fun, it is a worthy addition to the marathon, and will be a Halloween staple from now on.

 

Its dark now, and we have the sweets out ready for any Trick or Treaters, we have all eaten rather a lot, so the food is relegated to the kitchen for the time being, and we decide that a change of genre is needed. A classic we can all agree on and love is the order of the day, and vote number 2. Scream, Scream 4, I Know What You Did Last Summer and Alien. An eclectic mix. The winner? A draw between the two Screams, a further round knocks out the latest one, so we put on the original and best. Boisterous may be the best word to describe how this film went down. We all try an approximation of the Scream Voice and ask each other what’s your favourite scary movie? And do you want to die Sydney? All part of the fun. What a great film Scream is a classic. However, after five films, fatigue is starting to seep in, it’s time to end the fun for one October night.

Autumn of Terror: Top 5 Screams

By Geeky Gem

As Autumn of Terror goes on I thought it best to make a clip blog of the best screams in horror movies. There is nothing better than having a giggle as people scream in movies at things that have scared them or are trying to kill tem. I don’t scare easy so this always makes me giggle, here are some of the ones I liked most.

Halloween – Jamie Lee Curtis

Where better to start than with the woman be call the scream queen. Jamie Lee has been in so many horror movies I think she had screaming down to a t. Here is the chase scene from Halloween, just for you to see what I mean.

Scream – Drew Barrymore

Scream was one of the first horror movies, that I bought on video. This was surely down to the fact that I thought it was really good and kind of funny as the movie was intended to be a spoof movie but became so much more. It was horror for a whole new generation, a generation that knew the rules for horror movies. Here is the clip that opened the movie and saw Drew Barrymore scream her guts up, literally.

Evil Dead – Bruce Campbell

I love Bruce Campbell, if you follow him on Twitter he is really funny and even answers fan’s questions when he can. I also love the Evil Dead, Sam Raimi just made this movie on a show string and its fantastic. This clip shows some of Bruce’s best screams.

The Texas Chain Saw Massacre – Marilyn Burns

I had originally picked The Wicker Man to go here, but just before posting I changed my mind. This movie made my banned list eariler in the week, so I picked the dinner scene for you to enjoy. Marilyn Burns screams a lot in this scene, so its worth a watch.

Scream of Fear – Susan Strasberg

I couldn’t very well have a list of screams and not included one from the home of horror Hammer. It took me a while to find one I really liked but in the end I picked Scream of fear. The screams in this are fantastic, I have chosen to show you trailer here.

There we have it folks a whole lot of screaming going on, my thorat is sore after all that. Until next time take care.

How Bigfoot Can Save Hollywood

By Hmsbeefnuts

Hollywood loves the reboot, the re-imagining, the sequel. In recent years almost every blockbuster that has emerged has been one of these, or has been seen as the start of a franchise. There is nothing whatsoever wrong with this. I love sequels, as long as they are worthwhile, and I love reboots, Batman Begins was a fantastic fresh start for the Bat franchise and everything has since gone swimmingly. However, there is a trend that Hollywood seems to repeat, and this is, the unnecessary reboot or sexual. Step forward Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and especially you Amazing Spider-man, its time someone put a stop to you.

Now this is a very personal beef that I have with these two films, and I can understand if you don’t feel the same way, understand, but never forgive. Lets start with crystal skull, I’m not putting the title in upper case, it doesn’t deserve it. Now I will admit to being very excited for the new Indy adventure, but little did I know that it was as no more than a cash grab, the story was terrible and it almost tarnished three perfect films from my childhood, but it didn’t, Lucas and Spielberg didn’t rape my childhood, but they did waste a shit load of money, something we will return to later. Lets take the worst offender, the object of my geek rage, The Amazing Spider-man. In 2002, Sam Raimi directed a very good film Spider-man, the story of a boy who once bitten by a radioactive, or genetically modified spider, gain the super human ability of said arachnid. He followed this origin tale with two further films, one very good sequel, and a poor third entry that still made killer box office.

Due to critical reviews, Sony pictures decided to reboot the Spider-man franchise, and so in just under 10 years, the cinema going public will get to see two origin stories for Spider-man. This is uncalled for. By now everyone who cares knows how Spider-man became Spider-man, we get it, we know, stop wasting time re-telling the story and get on with a good film. But no, we get to see a slightly different take on Spider-man’s origin. Now don’t get me wrong, the film might be great, but the trailer looks a bit dark and depressing, but what I’m trying to get over is that the $100 odd million spent on this new film could have gone to something else, something new, or at least, something that hasn’t been tried in more than 20 years. Step forward Sasquatch…

There have been many Bigfoot and Yeti films over the years, but all bar one share a commonality, they are all low-budget B movies that are never really satisfying. The suits are awful, the acting sub-par and the whole thing comes across as disappointing. The exception obviously is our friend Harry above. Harry and the Hendersons is a fantastic film. I loved it when I was young and I think it is down to it and a few books on unexplained mysteries, that I love Bigfoot to this day. The film s high budget, the suit looks amazing, unequalled to this day, and the acting is great, because great actors were in it. However, there is something about it that doesn’t quite sit right with an older me. Harry is adorable and the film is a funtastic ride to jolly town, but guess what? I want a companion piece. I want a scary fall into the horror ravine, and I want to be pushed over the edge by a big budget, scary ass Bigfoot. The world is crying out for a great scary Bigfoot movie. How do I know this? Well I bet I’ve seen more films about Bigfoot than most people knew existed, and I don’t say this to boast, only an idiot would boast about that when he had to endure some of the shit I’ve sat through. I say this because, there is clearly a market for scary films about Bigfoot, so now, someone needs to stop making shitty reboots and sequels, and front up the money for a great Sasquatch movie. Lets look at some of the films that have come before…

Sasquatch Films that are Rubbish…

I have seen many bad Sasquatch films, these include, but are not limited to;

The Snow Creature (W Lee Wilder, 1954)

Shriek of the Mutilated (Michael Findlay, 1974)

The Capture of Bigfoot (Bill Rebane, 1979)

I will not review these films but they are all terrible, acting, beast suit everything a complete waste of time.

Sasquatch Films that are OK…

Snowbeast (Herb Wallerstein, 1977, TV movie)

The Legend of Boggy Creek (Charles B Pierce, 1973)

Clawed: The Legend of Sasquatch (2005)

Savage (2009)

These films are OK if you’re in the mood and like shitty horror films, maybe.

Sasquatch Films that are Decent to Good…

Harry and the Hendersons/Bigfoot and the Hendersons (William Dear, 1987)

The Abominable Snowman/The Abominable Snowman of the Himalayas (Val Guest, 1957, UK)

Abominable (2006)

These films are worth seeing and are actually quite good.

OK so we have established that Bigfoot films are popular with some sort of audience and that there is room for a high budget take on the Sasquatch legend that isn’t a cute comedy, and will scare the bejeezus out of people. Some more evidence? Horror is big business, look at Paranormal Activity and Saw, audiences lap up horror movies. Also, Bigfoot is a recognisable character in pop culture, that no one actually owns the rights to, this means anyone can make a film about him, and it has the potential to be successful. OK, how though? How is a Bigfoot film going to make it worthwhile for an audience and a studio? Well it just so happens that I have come up with three solid gold concepts. Ready children? Then I shall begin…

Concept 1) Bigfoot the slasher, or Scream for Bigfoot

OK simple enough premise. Sexy teens go into the woods for summer camp/spring break, and disturb something in the woods they shouldn’t. Get Kevin Williamson to write the script, known good-looking actors and spend money on the creature, a post modern Bigfoot hit is likely to follow. Easy.

Concept 2) Bigfoot the found footage film.

This will take the style and story of The Blair Witch Project and Paranormal Activity films, and feature a documentary crew who venture out into the woods making a documentary on a logging company. A year later their footage is found, but they are not, guess who they pissed off?

Concept 3) The Historical Bigfoot epic

I must admit this is a bit of a favourite of mine and I’ve had this idea in mind for a few years now. Colonial America. As the French and British fight over who controls the new world a small settlement is set up on the boarders of a dense forest. Indian Legends say that something they fear to name lives in these dense woods, they so fear it that they dare not live within miles of the forest. The settlement grows and builds a fort, in preparation for the winter months and everything seems normal, except a few members of hunting parties never return. The leaders put this down to desertion or Indian War parties, that is until winter draws in and the real culprits are revealed. Can the Fort hold out until the early spring when the mountain passes open and fresh troops can arrive with supplies? Or will the Sasquatch get their terrible revenge for the disturbance of their habitat?

So there we are. That’s how Bigfoot can save Hollywood from an endless stream of reboots and shitty sequels. Right, who’s gona stump up $300 million so I can do concept three justice? Anyone…

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