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My Reads This Year 2012

By Geeky Gem

As many of you know I like to read and I don’t mind what I read so long as I have at least one book on the go at any one time. Last year I read 53 books, how I hear you ask? well I didn’t have a job so had very little else to do, this year so far I have only read 38 a big drop and this is more than likely down to the fact I have a job now and beside’s doing my job and writing for you lovely people I have little time to do much else. However I catch the bus a lot so I have time to read on my journey’s which is nice as I can usually get a big chunk of a chapter on my way to work. I thought I would let you in on some the books I have read this year, and some I cant wait to read that are waiting for me to open.

Dead Until Dark

Now I did star reading this book just before True Blood started on FX but at the time I just couldn’t get into it. That being said at the start of the year my cousin said I should try again so I did and I read the whole thing in a week, I havent moved onto the other book in the series yet but I have now doubt that I will. This was really good and different from the show but I did like it. If you like the show and havent read the book why not give it go.

Percy Jackson

With this one I had seen the movie some time ago and meant to read the books but never did, however this year I suddenly remembered them and thought go on then lets give them a go. I like any thing to do with Geek Myths so these books appealed to me. I picked up Lighting Thief and was done within in a couple of days,  wont lie to you I read all 5 books inside of a month. I just couldn’t put them down, they are really good and well worth your time.


Comics count ok, besides I read a few comics this year. This one was by far one of my favourite in this series Batman and Superman team up to fix things that are going on. In this one I have pictured it to help Super Girl come to terms with landing on Earth and how she can live her life amount humans. It’s a really good series of comics, if you Superman and Batman, your you just like on you have to give this cross over a go.

Kick-Ass 2

I loved the first Kick-Ass and I have been wanting to read this part for a while so last week, I picked it up and read it in oe go. It takes pace just after the events of Kick-Ass, however Hit Girl is no longer allowed to speak to Kick-Ass she has to be a good girl Kick-Ass however has joined a league of Superheroes and is running around town fighting crime with his new friends. That is untill Red Mist shows up and starts making trouble. If you havent read these and like comic then give them a go they are really good.

These are just some of the book si have read this year, I am also still reading a few. I am currently still reading City of Bones and I am re-reading the Harry Potter series. Both of which I am enjoying very much but it’s finding the time to sit down and give them a good few hours attention. I also have a copy of J.K Rowlings first book for adult’s called The Casual Vacancy which I am also looking forward to starting.

Well untill next time happy reading.

My Top 30 Favourite Movies: Part 1

By Geeky Gem

Now a few weeks ago Hmsbeefnuts told you all about his Top 20 movies and not to be outdone I started to think about what my Top 30 movies. When you look at my list you may well go back to Hmsbeefnuts list and find some movies are the same and that’s because well they are my favourite too. Shall we get down to it then?


Tron is a movie I have spoken about on All Geek a few times so is it any wonder that it is on my list. It’s a fantastic movie and brings back a memory of my childhood every time I watch and in the end isn’t that what a great movie should do.  Its simple yet thought-provoking story is both fantastic and fun.

Back to the Future

What kind of child of the eighties would I be if this wasn’t n my list, I have lost count of how many times I have watched. Who knows how many times I have day dreamed about time machines being really and where and when would I go? What and who would I see.

Lord of the Rings

Yes I am doing the same as Hmsbeefnuts and including trilogy’s on my list, all the movies are good apart but together they add up to one epic, fantastic adventure through worlds unknown, mix in some epic battles and Orcs and what more did this movie have to be. I can’t wait for the Hobbit, it going to be brilliant plus it will have a dragon and we know I love those.


I don’t even know where to start with Hellboy, its everything I love about movies and comics. It dark, edgy and Ron Perlman is just fantastic as the Demon from another realm. If the BPRD where real I would so want to work there, I’ve seen enough movies to banish a few demons.


This was one of the first Super Hero movies I ever saw, and it sounds cheesy but to quote the tag line I really did believe man could fly. This is where y love for Super Heroes came from and that can only be a good thing in book. That’s why I enjoyed written about The Sons of Krypton back in Avenging April.

Star Trek

I had to have Star Trek on this list; yes I know there is more than trilogy. There’s 11 in fact and with the newest one they broke the myth that every odd-numbered Star Trek is shit. These movies vary and not all of them are good but they are worth a watch, there are fantastic and run alongside the show nicely. However I really wish Deep Space Nine and Voyager had been given a go at the big screen.

Batman Begins

Did you really think I would include Superman and not include Batman? After having watched all six movies for Bat-A-Thon for Summer Knights, I sat there and had a good hard think about which of the six I like the most and this was it. This was everything I love about The Dark Knight with Nolan’s flare and a whole lot more.

How To Train Your Dragon

I have mentioned my love for Dragon’s many times and this movie even made it on to a list of favourite dragon movies. It was then I realized it’s actually one of my favourite movie, the animation is stunning and musical score is brilliant the voice cast is rich and the story line is brilliant. I can’t wait for squeal.


Krull came out about month after I was born, not a lot of people remember it and Hmsbeefnuts is the only other person I know to have seen it. Put this with The Princess Bride and you have one of favorite weekend double bills. A prince and a fellowship of companions set out to rescue his bride from a fortress of alien invaders who have arrived on their home planet. What more could you ask for.


Oh 300 where do I start. This was just the height of epicness for me. It has a brilliant story and fantastic effects. The graphic novel is really good as well if you can get your hands on it read it. The soundtrack and dialogue for this move was just everything it should have been.

Well that is the first part of my top 30. Come back soon to find what else made it on the list that I have already changed five times.


By @hmsbeefnuts


Welcome to another weekly dose of whimsy, prescribed every Wednesday by yours truly. This week, I shall only deliver a small dose, as I am rather busy with work commitments. But we shall see how far we get. This week has been a sad one for the Geek community as a whole, and the Batman Geek community in particular. I refuse to give any publicity to anyone who commits an atrocity such as the one that happened last Friday, and it sickens me that the news agencies are seeking to exaggerate matters by referring to this sick individual as ‘The Batman Killer’ or ‘The Joker’. Please refrain from using such phrases, it only adds to this guys infamy.

There was of course very happy news in the world of Batman too. The Dark Knight Rises is a fantastic end to Christopher Nolan’s trilogy. I will not review it here, at least not in any detail, until a few more people get to see it. I know Geeky Gem has yet to watch it, as soon as she does, I will write up some more detailed thoughts. I’m happy to say I thought it was fantastic, all the cast were amazing, the storyline was strong, and thankfully I avoided spoilers, which I urge you to do, as at times I was on the edge of my seat wondering what was going to happen next. A very satisfying end to a very satisfying trilogy. I do not envy the guy who has to reboot the Bat now, but I am looking forward to the results. My vote would be to go for a less realistic universe, one in which Superman, Green Lantern, Flash and Wonder Woman can co-exist with Batman, because I want a Justice League Movie.

The Olympics starts on Friday, and to be honest I couldn’t give less of a shit. However, look out for a special series of Geek Olympics that we will be featuring on All Geek To Me, as soon as I can find the time to write them. Time is becoming a real problem at the moment and I am struggling to fit everything in. I had to quit my regular Sunday article at due to time constraints, a shame, as I did enjoy writing solely about video games, even if I was having trouble thinking of stuff to write about. I honestly considered The Top 5 Shoes in Gaming. Yeah, I was scraping the barrel. I would like to say thanks to everyone for giving me the opportunity over at GameNTrain, and Eric in particular. Always helpful, always supportive, good people.

I am currently reading Batman : No Man’s Land, which I am enjoying very much, I really need to make a dent in my comics pile, it is getting stupidly huge. I am also still reading Hunting The American Werewolf by Linda S. Godfrey, and yes I have been reading it for far too long. Once again, time is a factor here.

Games wise, I have been having a go at playing Lego Batman 2, and although I enjoy it in parts, it shares the problems that all the Lego games do, i.e., it has an awful camera system, it is very frustrating, and at times down right unfathomable, there are parts that are so obtuse as to be ridiculous. It is all made worthwhile however, by the fact that when you play as Superman, the John Williams theme plays when you fly, and you can shoot down baddies with your laser eyes!!

August is almost here, and we seem to have hit a bit of a movie low point. Most of the big action blockbusters are already out, and there seems like there is nothing really spectacular out  until The Hobbit in December. Of course, I will always find something to watch, practically every week, but all but one of the films I was really looking forward too this year have come out, roll on December.

Well that’s going to have to be it for one week, I have work to do.

Avenging April: 5 Badass Supervillians,That Aren’t Super Famous

By @hmsbeefnuts

Avenging April continues here at All Geek To Me, and the excitement is palpable. Not long now, not long. At this point, I am waist deep in comic books, superhero films, and Wikipedia articles about comic book characters I have never heard of before, and I’m loving it. Later this month I should have written an Avengers marathon piece, just have to find time to watch all the recent Marvel films, in order, and then write something amusing about the experience. It’s not easy you know, quite time consuming really. So you may have already read  out first Avenging April Article, 5 Super Stupid Supervillians, and I thought that a companion piece should be written to highlight some of the super badass villains that aren’t as famous as your Jokers, Lex Luthors, Green Goblins and Riddlers. The following super criminals are all some of my favourite characters that have come up against some of my favourite heroes. You may notice that this list is DC heavy, and that is because I am going through a bit of  DC period right now. Many of the great heroes have a vast Rogues Gallery, and it is only fair that these guys get their chance to shine, as they are some of the baddest ass villains ever.

Vandal Savage

Vandal Savage is just completely and utterly badass. A  Cro-Magnon man, a chance encounter with a mysterious meteorite granted him immortality, super strength and enhanced intellect. Throughout the ages Vandal Savage has been involved in numerous great historical events, and has tried to take over the world numerous times. He has fought all the great and the good superheroes, including Green Lantern, The Flash and Superman, as well as The Justice League, The Justice Society and The Titans. He is one of the most evil men alive, and is a great villain, and what a name!

Solomon Grundy

Solomon Grundy started life as Cyrus Gold, born sometime during the 1800’s. Living in Gotham City, he carried on an affair with a prostitute who fell pregnant. After a meeting in Slaughter Swamp, Cyrus was murdered by the hookers pimp and buried in the swamp. That was 1895, a bad year for Cyrus Gold. Due to an unknown process, the vegetation in the swamp zombified Cyrus body. He would resurrect and become known as Solomon Grundy. Grundy possesses superhuman strength, sometimes to the level of Superman himself, super stamina, energy absorption, the ability to redresser himself and also has a mystical invulnerability, making him impervious to almost everything. Having fought everyone of importance, I do prefer him as a Batman villain.

Black Mask

Black Mask is one of the coolest crime lords in Gotham City. Born Roman Sionis, Mask’s parents were wealthy and important, although they cared little for their son. He was given a position in the family Cosmetics business, falling in love with a ‘lowly’ secretary. His parents didn’t approve, and after a huge argument, Roman burnt his family estate down, with his parents inside. He inherited the business, but it failed, and he was bailed out by family friend Bruce Wayne. Not dealing with these turn of events in a positive manner, Roman tried to break into his Fathers crypt, but was struck by lightening, opening the crypt and smashing the Ebony sarcophagus. Roman took this as a sign, as well you might, and carved a mask out of a broken piece of his Fathers coffin. He then took on the mantel Black Mask. I love this guy, and sadly it doesn’t look like he will be in a Batman movie any time soon, a damn shame.

Star Sapphire

Basically Star Sapphire is a pink lantern, but bad, and confusingly her powers don’t come from will, but love. A formidable opponent for any hero, they have a special hatred for men. I’m gona be honest here, I have become slightly obsessed with Star Sapphire, and in particular, Star Sapphire cos-players. She is included in this list for no other reason than her outfit is quite simply amazingly sexy, yep, that’s this section done.

Omega Red

Our lone Marvelite on this list, but I have liked Omega Red for along time, ever since the X-Men cartoon in fact. Not really sure why, he just always looked really cool to me. As with seemingly most mutants, Omega Red has, superhuman strength, speed, stamina, reflexes, agility and durability, a regenerative healing factor (obviously) carbonadium retractable tentacles within each arm, he can secrete sickness and death causing pheromones, absorb life force, and is quite good at beating people up. I just liked the look of Omega Red, even from a young age, he seemed like a badass, on Wolverine levels.

Avenging April: Sons of Krypton

 By Geeky Gem


When I think about Super heroes I like, my mind will always go straight to either Batman or Superman. I have watched and read a number of things on the Man of Steel, and I love every bit of it. Most of the Super heroes we think of come from this planet and were born special or made special through an event. Kal-El however is not from this planet but from a long distant, and now lost, planet of Krypton. When I think on this I began to wonder just who has had the honour of playing the Man of Steel, here we going to have a look at these Super Men.


George Reeves


George Reeves played Superman in the television show that ran from 1952 until 1958, and was one of the first men to don the red cape, well it wasn’t really red as this show was filmed in black and white. That’s right kids black and white. In June 1951, Reeves was offered the role of Superman, he was initially reluctant to take the role because, like many actors of his time, he considered television unimportant and believed few would see his work. The half-hour films were shot on tight schedules; at least two shows were made every six days. Reeves’ first role as Superman was in Superman and the Mole Men, a film intended both as a B-picture and as the pilot for the TV series.


Christopher Reeve


Possibly the one person you think of if someone mentiones Superman, well for me at least. Chritopher Reeve played Superman in four films between 1978 and 1987. He even had a small role in Smallville. Which sadly was one of his last performances on screen. Whilst filming My Life, Stark Hesseltine told Reeve that he had been asked to audition for the leading role as Clark Kent/Superman in the big budget movie, Superman: The Movie. Lynn Stalmaster, the casting director, put Reeve’s picture and resume on the top of the pile three separate times, only to have the producers throw it out each time. Stalmaster wouldnt let it go and through her persistent pleading, a meeting between director Richard Donner and Reeve was set up. The morning after the meeting Reeve was sent the script. He got on a plane to London for his screen test and the rest, as the say is history.


Dean Cain

Now if you were born before the start of the 1990’s you may remember a little show called Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman, which ran from 1993 untill 1997. At the height of it’s popularity, it would bring in an average of at least 15 million viewers per episode. The series ran for four seasons, which for me was not enough. Dean Cain played Superman in this frankly brilliant show. It was basically about Clark’s life and how he and Lois came to be, with weekly kicking of bad guy butt to even it out. The show was really good and Dean Can bought new life to the Man of Steel, which finally gave me something to watch of a weekend afternoon.

Tom Welling

As I have covered TV verisons of Superman we can not leave out Smallville, which is all about Clark Kents life before he becomes the Man of Steel. Tom Welling plays the young Clark in Smallville and did so from 2001 untill 2011. Welling was cast in the television series after a nationwide search in America for an actor to play Clark Kent. In an interview with a teen magazine, Welling spoke about the day he auditioned for the role: “I was on my way back from the Warner Bros. studio, and I stopped in a gas station to call my manager and tell him how it went. I called and got him on the phone and he said, ‘Can you hold on a second?’ Next thing I know, there are literally seven people on the other line and almost in unison they say, ‘Tom, you got it!'”. The pilot for the show aired in October 2001, and became the highest-rated debut for The WB, with 8.4 million viewers.Welling even turned down the lead role twice, but after reading the script, decided to take the job. Like Christopher Reeve, he was not a Superman fan prior to being cast as Clark Kent. Welling even got to work with previous Supermans: Christopher Reeve, when he was a season two episode and Dean Cain who appered in a season seven episode.


Brandon Routh

I have to get one thing striaght before I talk about Brandon Routh and Superman Returns, this is the only movie based on Superman that i did not take a liking too. I am not afraid to admit it, I waited for that date in 2006 too see a shiny new Superman, even working at a cinema where I could have seen it for free, I paid to see it the week it came out. I was so dissapointed, the script was awful, some of acting from some cast memebers was wooden at best, but dispite all that there was a Superman that had it not been for a bad script vould have been great. Prior to Routh’s casting as Superman, Warner Bros. had spent over a decade developing a plan to relaunch the franchise and went through a number of actors they thought should play the Man of Steel, some names that came up were Nicolas Cage, Brendan Fraser, Will Smith , Paul Walker and every one inbetween. It also went thorugh a number of directors including Tim Burton, Brett Ratner and Wolfgang Peterson. Finally it was Brayn Singer who got the job, he insisted an unknown actor be cast in the part, in the tradition of the casting of the best-known film Superman, Chritopher Reeve. Routh, then 24, had previously already auditioned for director McG and was spotted by Singer after he viewed Routh’s videotaped audition. Singer was impressed by his resemblance to the comic book icon and found the actor to be humble and perfect for the role.

And finally, but by no means least, we move on to man that we will be seeing in 2013, who put on the famous red ‘S’ and show us a new take on The Man of Steel.

 Henry Cavill


As you can imagine, very little information is known about this new reboot of Superman, all that we know at the moment is the movie will be with us in 2013, that Henry Cavill has been cast as Superman and from the picture above he looks fantastic. One thing i know for sure is that Cavill is the first Non-American to play Superman. An achievment in its self, if you dont mind me saying so. What else can i tell you, let me see. The movie is under the devlopment of Zack Synder, Christopher Nolan, (he just can’t stay away from superheroes can he?) and David S. Goyer. It is currently being shot in Chicago and Vancouver, the movie entered principal photography in August 2011. Lets hope Cavill pulls this off in a way that will show people that Superman has returned and he is The Man of Steel.

Avenging April: 5 Super Stupid Supervillians

By @hmsbeefnuts

It’s April and here at All Geek To Me, we are VERY excited about a certain superhero film that drops at the end of the month. So, in celebration of the upcoming The Avengers, during a recent production meeting, Geeky Gem and I have decided that this month shall forever more be known as Avenging April. With us so far? Good. Now what does Avenging April actually mean? Well basically, we are trying to ride The Avengers bandwagon by writing a series of articles based on superheroes, to try to alleviate our growing excitement, and to make sure you all go and see what is sure to be in the top three biggest films this year. Now All Geek To Me’s staff don’t claim to know everything about superheroes or comic characters, but we know what we like, or don’t like, and thus, consider this fare warning…over the next month, superheroes will very much be taking centre stage, although there will be other articles for those who aren’t cape fanatics. So, without further ado, lets kick off Avenging April with a look at the 5 Super Stupid Supervillians…


I don’t feel like this pick needs too much explanation. Just look at the picture. Vincent Price with a huge egg shaped bald head. Egghead was created especially for the 1960’s Batman TV show, and was suitably camp and rubbishy. I’m not down on the Batman TV show, I like it, but it is a work of campy genius. Egghead is one of the stupidest, and therefore best villains on the show. He is described thusly; ‘A super smart villain who’s brain is too big for his head. He has a soft spot in his cold heart for anything that has the word egg in it‘. I love that corner of The Bats Rogues Gallery that is populated by villains who are fixated on ridiculous things. He even had a Moll called Miss Bacon. Just look again at the picture Egghead is stupid, and incredibly awesome. How about Egghead and King Tut for a Batman reboot?

Granny Goodness

My God that name is stupid. Granny. Goodness. Ridiculous. What is even more stupid is that Granny Goodness is associated with Darkseid. She runs the training facility for his elite soldiers, using torture and brainwashing techniques in her warped childcare system, in order to train elite fanatical warriors, who will die for Darkseid. Her powers include superhuman strength, speed and durability. She is also adept at using Apokoliptian technology. She is a formidable opponent, but she is called Granny Goodness. God damn it.

Crazy Quilt


Our next three villains fall into the category of ‘not everything sounds sinister and scary’. Especially in this case, Quilts. Crazy Quilt was once Paul Dekker, an ex-painter who has turned master thief. Blinded during a botched robbery by a gun shot, he was taken to prison. Whilst inside, he volunteered for a medical procedure that would restore his vision. It worked, sort of. He can now only see blinding, disorienting colours. He obviously then went insane, and started to dress like a complete idiot, oh and calling himself Crazy Quilt, and he is now able to control peoples minds, with a mind-controlling helmet.

The Kangaroo


Dear God. Frank Oliver studied kangaroo’s in his native Australia, so hard he developed a jumping ability to rival the marsupials. Obviously, he decided the best way to exploit this new ability was to become a champion boxer, well you would wouldn’t you? After accidentally kicking an opponent in the face, and right into the hospital, Frank jumped ship to America to evade justice. Escaping from deportation, Frank decide a life of crime was for him. Having been defeated by Spider-man easily first time off, he escaped but had wounded pride. He then met Dr. Jonas Harrow, who offered to superhuman The Kangaroo up. An operation later, and The Kangaroo was now jet powered, able to leap 100ft. and be super strong. The story doesn’t exactly end well, but no spoilers. He hates Spider-man though, loads.

The Calculator

Look comic creators, not everything in the world should be turned into a cool superpower. However lame The Calculator seems, and he seems really stupid, he is actually quite a tough opponent. He started off by losing to every member of the Justice League. However, in reality he was assessing his opponents strengths and weaknesses with his calculator suit, which after pressing a special button, he could make sure they could never beat him again. He became immune from defeat by any hero he had analysed, and could only be defeated by a new hero each time, or by turning his powers against him. In fact The Calculator is quite cool, he just looks really stupid.

A Happy Mothers Day, Here are 5 Bad Parents and 5 Good Parents in Honour Of All Geeky Mums Everywhere

By Hmsbeefnuts

It’s Mother’s Day again, so instead of our usual look at the trivia of a geeky thing, today we will be looking at some of geek cultures best and worst parents. It was going to be Best and Worst Mothers, but damn, it was hard to think of 5 positive and 5 negative examples of Mothers. We had to expand the list to include Fathers as well. I don’t know if it’s the kind of movies I watch, but women defiantly need some good or bad Mother roles! Come on Hollywood, sort it out. This post is dedicated to all our Mums, and all Mums everywhere who have encouraged our geekyness. We LOVE YOU Mums!!! Now without further ado, on with the list…


Thomas Wayne

The Father of one Bruce Wayne. This guy was so loved by his son that after he was brutally shot in front of his son, Bruce vowed his life to not only vengeance, but to making sure that no one would ever have to go through what he did again. Bruce loved his Father so much that he dresses as a giant bat and swoops over Gotham City scaring the crap out of people. Thomas was such a decent Dad that he left his faithful retainer Alfred in charge of Bruce in the case of him and his wife’s death. Also leaving his bereaved son with a huge fortune, so huge in fact that his son can afford all those wonderful toys. The guy must have been awesome, he is Batman’s Dad.

Police Chief Martin Brody

Martin Brody is a man with a mortal fear. He hates water, and is terrified of being drowned. He is Police Chief in a little town called Amity. A little town that is being menaced by a bloody huge Great White Shark. Chief Brody hates water. Sharks live in water. Brody decides he must do something, but must stay on land. That is until the shark decides to fuck with Brody’s family. The shark picked on the wrong kid to swim past and almost eat. Brody loves his kids so much, he does the one thing that he hates the most, gets on a boat, to kill that mother flipping shark. What a guy. Oh and he manages to kill the son of a bitch too. Lesson? Don’t fuck with Brody’s kids.

Martha Kent

How many of us would adopt a baby who we found in a huge meteor crater? A baby with amazing super powers? OK well probably most of us. But how many of us could make this Super human baby into one of the nicest and gentlest men on the planet? It would be mega hard not to let his power take over his personality, it would be so easy for Superman, to become Megadick. The fact that he fights for truth, justice and the American way, is testament to the powers of Martha Kent (and her husband), as truly great parents. I know if I had super powers, it would be all too easy for me to exploit them. I wouldn’t of course, because my Mum brought me up right, and she is awesome. The world owes Martha Kent a debt of gratitude, if not for her, Kal-El could have been the worst thing to happen to Earth, instead of one of the best.


OK he’s a rat. Doesn’t mean he’s not an awesome Step-Dad. Splinter is the kind of Dad who doesn’t really exist in real life, being a huge mutated rat and all. The Dad who adopts four children from a different species and brings them up as his own. Oh, and teaches them to be awesome ninjas. OK, so 5ft rats don’t exist, and a rat would probably kill and eat four helpless Turtles anyway, but doesn’t this just prove what a great Dad Splinter is. I love my Dad, he is brilliant, but he only taught me maths (he was a maths teacher) not ninjitsu, and I think you’ll agree that ninjitsu is way cooler than maths. Not only does he take in these turtles, he doesn’t get rid of them when he realises they are freaks who have been dumped in mutagen, what a guy. He also gives them awesome renaissance names and teaches them discipline and respect. Maybe we should put some of those reprobates involved in last years riots in the care of giant mutated rats, teach them some respect. Splinter is awesome.


There are very few bad ass Mums in this world, or any other, so Ripley deserves special mention. Once again we have a case of adoption, but there are very few people ever, who would fight a big huge fuck off Alien Queen, in order to save the life of a small child she had barely met. OK so she left a real daughter millions of miles away on Earth, but she was just trying to make a living, a better life for her family, and anyone willing to go into space for years on end in such a depressing way has to love her kids loads and loads, or really hate them… Hmm. I’m gona say that she really loves them. Newt is clearly a replacement for her Earth daughter, but that’s OK, she still really cares for her, and as I said before, if your willing to go toe to toe with a 20ft. Alien Bitch Queen, then in my book, you are at least in the running for Parent of the Year.


Shmi Skywalker

In the category of bad Mums, Shmi Skywalker takes first prize. Now first of all, she is such a bad Mother that she doesn’t even know who her sons Father is, and makes up a ludicrous story that he was conceived by magic. Yeah right. She was probably slagging it all over Tatooine and the kids Dad could have been any number of scum or villainy in the rat hole that is that stinking Dessert planet. OK, so she wouldn’t win any prizes for being a good Mum, but fairs fair, she kept her son alive until he’s like 9, not too shabby since she hasn’t got a proper job or anything. But wait. One day a bearded man arrives at her house, claiming to be a warrior and a magician. He thinks her son, Anakin, is special, and wants to take him away to another planet so he can run some tests and such on the little boy. So far so Catholic Priest. The shocking thing is, Shmi allows this intergalactic weirdo to take her son away, to Yoda knows where, to become the test subject of an ancient religious order. Doesn’t sound too good to me. She has know ‘Qui Gon Jin’ for all of a few hours before she is off loading her magic baby in to his care. Nice one Shmi. Is it any wonder things didn’t go quite to plan with young Anakin’s training? Just how off plan we shall see below…

Anakin Skywalker

Anakin Skywalker, or Darth Vader if you prefer, is a mega jerk. Flying around the galaxy destroying Jedi, enslaving planets and destroying everyone’s faith in a secular life. The guy is just bad news, like a headache at Disneyworld. It could be argued it isn’t his fault, after all his Mother was an irresponsible fool, however, being the second most hated man in the Galaxy has to make you a bad Dad. The fact he thinks his kids are dead, even though he is the strongest Force user in the universe is poor form indeed. The fact that one of them is hidden on his home planet, with relatives of his, who share his last name is insane. Just shows he doesn’t care enough. Once he does know of his kids survival, he tries to enlist him into the Galactic Empire of Douchebags, then tries to kill his him. Not good parenting, Super Nanny would be having a nervous breakdown, if she saw all this going on.

Jor – El

It could be argued that Jor-El is a great Dad. That sending a tiny baby half way across the known universe to an unknown fate, was a sensible thing to do, considering his planet was being destroyed. But I say this to you, why didn’t he and his wife go with little Kal-El. I refuse to believe that he couldn’t have built a three seater spaceship. Hell if he wanted to go down with the sinking planet like some prideful sea captain, let the women and children go, send his wife as well, but no, selfish. He sends his little boy to a strange planet that’s proximity to a yellow sun will allow his child super powers, irresponsible if you ask me, what if the Kent’s hadn’t found little Kal-El? Jor-El was an idiot, and it was lucky that it turned out quite well.

Charlie Kenton out of Reel Steel

This guy, a failed boxer and Father, literally sells his son. Set in the not too distant future, like 10 years at most, and the dude SELLS his son, after his estranged wife dies. This guy is a jerk of the highest standards for about 40 mins of this film. He then learns valuable lessons and becomes an awesome Dad. But the fact remains, he sells his son. That is a pretty shitty thing to do. Oh, giant robots are also in this excellent movie. Check it out.

Evil Queen in Snow White

The wickedest of the wicked. Jealous of her step daughters beauty, the wicked queen tries to murder her, twice. Not good parenting. Plus, fruit should be something that a child wants to eat, poisoned fruit does not fully conform to government regulations, and leaving it around the castle is just a very bad idea. A vain murderess should not be in charge of children. They should however be on some sort of list.

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