Autumn of Terror: My Favourite Monsters Part 1

By @hmsbeefnuts

You may have noticed that around All Geek To Me, we like our monsters, we like them quite a bit in fact. As this month is our celebration of all things that go bump in the night, I thought that I couldn’t really let it pass without a look at my favourite monsters, so I wrote something about that very thing. I have picked my favourite iteration of each of these monsters, and as they have been put on screen many times, I hope this adds variety, as I could just choose the Universal or Hammer film versions, but I will try my very best not too. These choices are based on the look alone, film quality does not enter into my choices here, just this is my prefered version of the different monsters mentioned. So with that out the way, lets get on with some monsters.

WEREWOLF

I know the remake of The Wolf Man was not well received, but I liked it, I liked it a whole lot. Now yes, there is some dodgy cgi, but the main Wolf Man suit is quite simply spectacular. I loved it. It takes the look of the Lon Chaney Jnr. version and ups it to new super fearsome and crazy levels. This for me, is the finest example of The Wolf Man, all claws, jaws and ripped clothing. I will always have a soft spot for the 1941 original, but I don’t think you can argue that this design is far more awesome.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Van Helsing is another movie that everyone thought sucked. Well for all the cheese and bad acting, I still liked it. The Wolfman from Van Helsing is supersized, really huge and powerful, but once again, I really dug the design, I would definitely not like to meet this beast on a dark night.

VAMPIRES

For me Bela Lugosi owned the voice, but Christopher Lee owned the physical manifestation of Dracula, and so, as the Lord of all Vampires, he has to be my top pick for best Vampire. Hammer vampires were much scarier than Universal ones, all blood shot eyes and dripping fangs. Christopher Lee was just such a badass as Dracula, the embodiment of evil, however, Hammer did also show a talent for other types of vampires too, as we shall see below…

HONOURABLE MENTION

Hammer ruled the roost in terms of Horror sexiness, and thus any female vampire, bride or victim of Dracula, instantly becomes very appealing, especially Ingrid Pitt. I know it’s shallow and a bit sexist, but fuck it, vampire chicks are hot, and lesbian Hammer vampires are the hottest.

THE MONSTER

The Monster, not Frankenstein, has never been bettered since 1931 and Boris Karloff’s portrayal. The make up is stunning, the acting is amazing, the Universal Monster is the greatest that has ever been, and ever will be. Can’t really say any more than that.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Yes it’s Van Helsing again, but I thought this design of the Monster was unique, I liked the steam punk legs and the glowing brain. He may be a bit theatrical, but then wouldn’t you be if you had been cobbled together from a few dozen other guys?

GHOSTS

Ghost? Demon? Well it’s responsible for Paranormal Activity anyway, so I think it counts. I absolutely loved Paranormal Activity 3, and especially the bit from the picture above. I love how usually the invisible force is scary enough, but I couldn’t resist this sight gag, amazing. Paranormal Activity is so scary because it happens in normal houses to normal people. Those are my favourite kinds of spooky stories, the other being the classic Victorian ghost story.

HONOURABLE MENTION

The Woman in Black was a great return to form for the bleak and depressing Victorian Ghost Story, and is a great example of such a ghost. Vengeful, scary, and a bit of a dick.

SWAMP CREATURE

Universal’s Creature From The Black Lagoon, or Gill Man, if you prefer, is the classic beastie from the depths. It’s a great look for a sea monster, webbed feet and claws, and slimy skin. Enough to make you think twice about swimming in that lake or river.

HONOURABLE MENTION

Maybe not a typical Gill Man, however, the Fluke Man is disgustingly scary. One of the most memorable monsters from the X – Files, Fluke Man was horrendous. Just look at him. That shit is fucked up.

Autumn of Terror: Top 5 Hammer Horror Films

By @hmsbeefnuts

If you like your Horror films with a massive spoonful of gothic, a healthy dose of sexiness and some of the finest British character actors ever produced, then you surely are in love with Hammer Horror films. I have loved these films for ever, they are responsible for my love of evil women in corsets, and they are fantastic examples of good old fashioned gothic horror. I have a large collection of these films on DVD, but my fondest memories of these films must be when I first caught them on the TV. I was at the right age, hormones raging, cleavage unbearably exciting, and the thought of a film called The Vampire Lovers was all a bit too much. Needless to say I tried to watch as much Hammer as possible, and although the chance of bear female flesh was initially the draw, I soon realised that the films were great too. So here, are my top 5 Hammer Horror films, I hope you enjoy…

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES

This just happens to be one of my favourite films of all time. I love The Hound of The Baskervilles, and this version is my very favourite. Perhaps not a typical Hammer Horror, it definitely deserves it’s place on this list. Peter Cushing is the great detective, with Christopher Lee reduced to the smaller role of Sir Henry Baskerville. What we have here is a bit of a change of pace from our usual Hammer fare, there isn’t much sexiness going on here, but this film is all about atmosphere. Baskerville Manor is suitably dreary and gothic, and the moor is desolate and foreboding, and the howl of the Hound is heart stopping. I love the beginning, showing how the Curse of the Baskervilles came to be, and Hammer manage to add some occult overtones to the story. All in all, this is a sure fire hit for me, and I am bound to be slipping it in to my DVD player in the run up to Halloween.

CAPTAIN KRONOS VAMPIRE HUNTER

Not a success when first released, I had a few problems tracking this one down, but I have to say, this film is rather fantastic, and a whole lot of fun. Captain Kronos is a Vampire Hunter (obviously) but not really in line with Peter Cushing’s Van Helsing. He is more of a proto Hugh Jackman Van Helsing. In this film, Vampires suck the life out of victims, literally turning them into old haggard husks, when once they were beautiful women. As a former soldier, and ‘expert swordsman’ Kronos and his hunchback assistant travel the country dispatching vampires in a far more swashbuckling type manner than Professor Van Helsing, and this puts a unique spin on vampire hunting in the Hammer canon. Perhaps not for everyone, there are a distinct lack of Hammer Stars in this, however, the film, planned as the first of a franchise, deserves to be seen and appreciated. Highly recommended.

THE HORROR OF DRACULA

Hammer’s take on Bram Stoker’s original story, The Horror of Dracula is the daddy of Hammer Dracula films. We have Christopher Lee as the Count, perhaps the greatest person to ever play him, and his arch nemesis, Van Helsing, played by Peter ‘the man’ Cushing. This doesn’t quite match the original story, as Hammer took some liberties with the plot, but as a film, this is just fantastic. Seeing Cushing and Lee face off against each other is worth the price of the DVD alone, there simply aren’t many more Hammery Hammer Horror Films one can see.

COUNTESS DRACULA

OK I’ll admit it, this choice is based on Ingrid Pitt alone. She is one of the most devastatingly beautiful and downright sexy women ever to drain the blood from sexy virgin girls and bathe in it. The fact that I have also had a long fascination with Elisabeth Bathory, The Bloody Countess, which true story this film is based on, also helps a bit, but by all that is holy and innocent, Ingrid Pitt looks like a Goddess and could be forgiven for any crime, even the murder of a few hundred maids, as long as she looked that good. I feel at this point I must apologise, as this isn’t really a review as such, and I’m not really giving many reason why anyone should watch this film beyond ‘Ingrid Pitt is banging’. Well… does it help that Hercules himself, from Jason and the Argonauts, is in it? Or there is copious amounts of nudity? No? Well unlucky, Ingrid Pitt is hot as hell, and she is naked a lot in this film, and the story is fascinating, so, all in all, this movie is full of win.

CURSE OF THE WEREWOLF

The only werewolf film Hammer made, and quite a good entry in the genre. Werewolves are my favourite monster, and Universals The Wolf Man is one of my favourite movies of all time. Whilst Hammer’s take on the werewolf doesn’t quite reach the heady heights climbed by Lon Chaney Jnr, Oliver Reed gives a tragic performance as the man wolf. Hammer’s version of the monster is a mix between the Lon Chaney Wolf Man, and the earlier Universal film Werewolf of London, another film worth checking out Horror fans. There is quite a bit of werewolf myth going on here, particularly in the way werewolfism is passed on, or created. Set in Spain, this film is very atmospheric, and a perfect cap to any Hammer Horror Marathon.

The Celluloid Cryptozoologist: Werewolves

‘Even a man who is pure of heart, and says his prayers by night, may become a wolf, when the Wolfs-bane blooms, and the Autumn moon is bright’.

An Olde Gypsy saying.

In the world of monsters, ghouls and ghosts, for me, there is only one choice for king, or queen, of the scary abandoned Gothic castle. Sure I like vampires, ghosts and gillmen as much as the next guy, but they simply can not compare to the lycanthrope, wolfman or werewolf. The wolfman beast type thing, is my favourite monster, and so I shall now write a rather long, but hopefully interesting, article on the subject. So sit back, relax, and enjoy as I bring you the first in a series of articles, The Celluloid Cryptozoologist.

The Werewolf, can come in many types and classes, but all, (well most), are awesome. Unlike Vampires (Dracula etc.), the Werewolf, hasn’t really had a classic novel or work that defines the typical werewolf, and as such, they are open to a certain degree of interpretation. The classic film, The Wolfman, is perhaps the archetype of many celluloid werewolves to come, and is a classic of the genre. In this film many of the trappings of werewolfery are set out, but some are very much absent. So friends, shall we delve into this fascinating celluloid cryptid? I think we should go on a journey, a journey into the heart of man, to reveal the beast in us all, so grab your wolfs-bane, and silver based weapon, and follow me into the forest where the beast who walk among us reside, don’t stray from the path, and off to Grandmother’s house we go…

WOLFMEN

 

The Wolfman is a curious breed. In this list of werewolf-type creatures, a wolfman is perhaps the closest to a human. There are many distinct types of wolfmen, but similar features are found in each. A wolfman will stand upright, and from a distance could be mistaken for an average human. However, on closer inspection, if you are stupid enough, or unlucky enough to to see one up close, they are very different to the average human. In The Werewolf of London (1935), the werewolf is less hairy than other types, the face is distorted into an animalistic snarl, and the teeth, claws and eyes are certainly terrifying. Often described as The Elvis Werewolf, due to the hair style, this poor creature was turned by the bite of another werewolf, although this is not always the case with wolfmen, as being born on Christmas Eve, having eyebrows that meet in the middle and being the result of a rape, can all account for the child being a wolfman (Curse of the Werewolf).

A hairier cousin to this creature can be found in The Wolfman (1941). Poor Larry Talbot, also bitten by a wolf, has more pronounced changes, hairy all over, a short wolf snout, and hairy clawed hands and wolf feet. A tragic character, this creature instinctively seeks to destroy those it loves, and can only be killed with silver, in this case, a silver headed cane, although this method may not in fact be very efficient as 1943’s Frankenstein Meets the Wolfman, suggests. At times a wolfman may exhibit the attributes of a wolf during his human hours, including an increased sense of smell, and hearing, as well as sexual aggressiveness and a take no shit attitude (Wolf, 1993). The Wolfman, may in fact be just a stage of evolution of the werewolf, as Jack Nicholson’s character in Wolf shows, he eventually turns in a werewolf proper i.e. a full on wolf. The Wolfman, 2010 shows a far more animalistic and vicious creature, hairier, more aggressive killing machine. It is a matter of some debate whether or not a wolfman needs the full moon to change, it seems that sometimes he does, but other times not, it must be taken on a case by case basis.

WEREWOLVES

 

The werewolf, from the Anglo-Saxon were, meaning man and wulf, meaning wolf, literally a man-wolf. However, for the purposes of this article, here, a werewolf will be a term describing a man who turns into a four legged wolf, literally, a man turning into an animal. Again, there are numerous types of werewolves, and as mentioned above, the werewolf, may be the final stage of transformation of the wolfman, however, evidence suggests that most werewolves do not go through a wolfman stage. Classic examples of this type can be seen in The Beast Must Die and The Company of Wolves. In these cases, the man whose disease origin is unknown, turns into a real wolf, and once dispatched, will revert to human form. Werewolves are more likely to only change during a full moon and are susceptible to silver, usually in the form of a bullet.

Special cases of this type of werewolfery include An American Werewolf In London and Red Riding Hood. In these cases, the werewolf far exceeds an ordinary wolf in both size and aggressiveness. In the first case, people bitten by a the wolf will become werewolves, but those killed become undead, and haunt the human hours of the werewolf, causing guilt at what he has done. In the second case, the curse of the werewolf can be passed down through family members, but a bite is still required to cause a final transformation. A psychic link to family members may also be present, showing that at least some werewolves are not just savage beasts, but are able to make decisions and show a definite human intelligence, making them extremely dangerous. Transformations can be extremely painful, as the human body twists and shift into the form of a wolf, and sufferers will often wake up in strange places, often in a mess of blood an entrails, and sometimes even in the company of real wolves. Unlike with wolfmen, werewolves do not wear clothes, so waking up naked somewhere quite public is a real possibility. Vampires have been known to be able to change into wolves, and as such the werewolf and the vampire are closely linked. (Dracula, 1931).

LYCANTHROPES

 

Lycanthropy is a real disease, symptoms include, an aversion to sunlight, animalistic behaviour and an increase in hair growth, however, for the purposes of this article, Lycanthropes will be used to describe those werewolves who turn from man in a bipedal, wolf-headed creature. Once again, there are a few types of these creatures, and their physiology is not always common. Variations in size are recorded, however, Lycanthropes are usually described as very large, aggressive and extremely dangerous. There have been cases reported that suggest that these creatures are the most dangerous of all werewolves. In Dog Soldiers two teams of highly trained British soldiers, one of them a Spec Ops team, are literally ripped to shreds by a pack of Lycanthropes. This is one of their most fascinating traits, pack behaviour. Unlike other werewolves, who prefer a solitary existence, some types of Lycanthropes prefer to hunt in packs, and can in fact live in family/pack units. (Dog Soldiers, The Howling), it is unclear whether or not Lycanthropy is inherited or not, but it is certain that it can be transmitted through bite.

Other types of Lycanthropes have the ability to talk (Cursed) and many have a specific hatred of other members of the underworld of monsters, namely Vampires (Underworld). It has been suggested that Lycanthropes were bred as guardians for vampires, vampire guard dogs if you will. Also it is suggested that a Lycanthrope is the only creature that can destroy a master vampire (Van Helsing). Lycanthropes are common around the world, well as common as any creature of the night, but are most commonly found in Europe and North America. Native American legends talk of the Manitou or Wendigo creatures that bare a strong resemblance to the Lycanthrope (The X-Files : Shapes). Lycanthropes do not need the full moon to bring about the change, and some types, do not even require darkness for it to happen, being able to change at will. Silver is a common cause of death, but by no means a certain way of destruction, it seems fire in the form of an explosion will do the trick (Dog Soldiers).

WOLF-MAN TYPE THINGS

Our final species of werewolf, and hard to pin down. Some types of these beasts exhibit many of the traits of wolfmen, lycanthropes and werewolves, and some, not at all. Some barely seem to change from their human form, whilst others are wild and savage beasts killing all who come into contact with them. In She-wolf of London, one of our few female case studies, the subject does not change into a wolf of any description, instead, the change is a psychological one, as she convinces herself she becomes a wolf at night in order to commit murders. Other examples, and indeed, another female example can be found in A Company of Wolves. One case in this study concerns a young female creature who is neither werewolf, wolfman or lycanthrope, but a kind of wild girl with slight wolf attributes. A Professor Lupin, who used to teach at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is reported to be a werewolf, however, pictorial evidence seems to suggest that the creature that he turns into, whilst sharing certain characteristics with lycanthropes, is not a true member of this species (he looks rubbish).

As mentioned above, the vampire and the werewolf are quite closely linked in some cultures. Powerful vampires are said to be able to change into wolf like creatures in order to exploit their more animal natures. A certain Count Dracula, renowned as King of all Vampires, has at times exhibited the ability to turn into both wolves, and wolf like creatures (Bram Stocker’s Dracula). There most fearsome of all wolf-like creatures however, may in fact be the werewolf/vampire hybrid. A werewolf born, then later bitten by a vampire, creating a creature of terrifying power, sharing all the strengths of both species, but few of the weaknesses, the hybrid (Underworld) is to be avoided at all costs by all but the most confident hunter.

So there we have it, all that man may know about the loups–garou, that’s a French werewolf to you, yeah look impressed. Until next we meet, stay on the path, don’t talk to strange men who’s eyebrows meet in the middle, and most of all, beware the moon, and if all that fails, make sure Liam Neeson is in close proximity.