Wednesday Whimsy; Caelrona at the Renaissance Faire

By: Caelrona

Hiya All! I can’t believe it is already Wednesday again! Well, I don’t know about ya’ll but I was busy this weekend. As some of you may know, I live in the United States; specifically I live in Arizona. Once a year our uh, fair(?) state has a Renaissance Festival. This Renaissance Faire is huge, sprawling and packed with many shows and fun things to do (and tons of way to spend so much money. So. Much. Money.) My friends and I decided a while ago to attend, and last weekend was dedicated to the Renaissance Faire. We spent both Saturday and Sunday from, sunup to sundown, walking about in medieval dress. Our feet hurt, our ribs hurt (cinchers and corsets are bloody painful!), hell even our scalps hurt. But we had tons of fun, and I thought that I’d share that with you as best I could through a blog. I mean, what is geekier than a Renaissance Festival?!

Jousting

One of the main things we spent nearly all of Saturday keeping track of was the jousting tournament. There were three different jousting events, all tied into one another, spread throughout the day which basically meant a crap tan of walking for us as we’d see one, then walk about the other shops and shows until the next joust and have to walk all the way back. There were four knights jousting, whose sections could be sat in to cheer for. We ended up in the section for the rider in amethyst. Unfortunately, we picked the loser of the tournament to cheer for, which was a letdown, but he was a good sport and spent the remaining time in the arena talking to everyone in his section of the stands and letting kids pet his horse.

The Tortuga Twins

My friends saw two of their shows; whilst I was only able to see one. During the first I was getting my hair braided at one of the stalls. However, the show I did get to see was hilarious. It also was apparently their only rated R show. It was definitely adult humor; several families got up and left within the first few moments (although why they were there that long I can’t imagine; they loudly proclaimed several times that it was an R rated show.) Several random audience members were accosted, embarrassed and mildly molested during the show. Well, I say mildly, but…

Zilch the TorySteller

Zilch the TorySteller is.. oh, I don’t even know how to describe him. He’s hilarious. From his website; ‘My name is Terry Foy, although you might know me better as Zilch the Storyteller. Er, ah, Torysteller. The stories I tell have a bit of a twist to them. I spalk in toonerisms. Ah, I talk in spoonerisms. Citching one’s swonsonants fack and borth Worning your Turds around. It’s serfectly pimple. You just have to tink thaster than you falk.’ Yeah. Try reading that a couple times and see if you get the idea. He talks that way the entire time, telling various ‘TairyFales’ like ‘Rindercella and the Stoo Tugly Epsisters,’ ‘Rittle Led Hiding Rood,’ and Spilliam Wakshear’s ‘Jomeo and Ruliet.’ Also, if that weren’t enough to catch your attention he goes off on random tangents to tell awesomely nerdy jokes and small stories. Like the time he had a group of Klingons and a group of Storm Troopers having a little inter-genre mixer at one of his shows, and one of the Storm Troopers was wearing a kilt! Or when he had a front row of Doctor’s from Doctor Who, and they kept getting excited and squeaking; ‘We’re in chronological order!’ This man was so funny, we could hardly breathe most of his show.

Tartanic

I’ve saved the best for last. Now you might be wondering; what is Tartanic? The simple answer; Tartanic is a band. They are the most interesting band I’ve ever come across, and one showing had me hooked; I am now a fan for life. The long answer? Dressed in kilts and sunglasses, Tartanic gives its audiences a barrage of sound from not one but two Highland Bagpipes, and three percussionists. Imagine one dancer, six drums, six drones, 18 notes, fast fingers, high comedy, flying bagpipes, taste-defying stunts and scorching hot music played at over 120 beats per minute with driving speed and high-volume, all brought to you by five men without pants. Yeah, they are pretty damn awesome. Little ol’ me with my pirate’s heart of gold even shelled out 15 clams to buy their latest album. That’s right; they are so amazing they got me to PAY for music. We saw 3 of their shows between the two days we spent there; mainly because I kept dragging my friends to them. What can I say? I love me some men in kilts with bagpipes and big drums.

 

So there you have it! That is how I spent my weekend; running around a huge dusty portal back in time and getting accosted by various people who thought I worked for the faire. Honestly, just because a girl is wearing period clothing doesn’t mean she’s going to sell you a corset people. But anyway, I had an amazing time, spent way too much money and walked so much I still hurt from it; it was fantastic!

Until next time,

Caelrona – signing off! ❤