By @hmsbeefnuts
Before my scheduled article for today, we at All Geek To Me would just like to take some time to express our sympathy and sadness at the incident that took place at a midnight screening of The Dark Knight Rises, in America, in the early hours of Friday morning. We can not imagine how the family and friends of the victims are feeling right now, but that we, as well as I’m sure, anyone reading this are thinking of them in such a tragic time. Better writers than I have already put thought far more eloquently than I ever could about the incident, but my thoughts are, we should give this as little press coverage as possible, and not make the perpetrator in anyway famous, or infamous. Geeky Gem, Kirkie Chick and I have all attended midnight screenings in the past, and know how excited all those Batman fans were at the cinema in question. I don’t normally go in for sentimentality, but this happened to fellow Batman fans, and movie lovers, Geeks like all of us, and I felt that something should be written to show that the Geek community is behind the victims families and friends. Batman never uses guns, hates them, lets hope that this horrible incident doesn’t become known as the Batman shooting, but becomes better known for introducing a Batman law, guns are dangerous, normal people don’t need to own them. We here at AGTM urge you not to worry about visiting a cinema, even at this awful time. Watch the Dark Knight Rises, it is fantastic, let people know that fear doesn’t rule.
Batman is cool. We all know this. Unlike most superheroes, he was never involved in a chemical accident, he was never bitten by a radioactive animal, he didn’t come from an alien planet, and was never experimented on by the military. Instead, Batman’s parents were killed, in front of him, turning a nice well mannered boy into a revenge machine. Luckily for little Bruce Wayne, although his parents were now dead, they were extremely rich, and he was left the Wayne family fortune. Now what better pool of resources to have than seemingly endless amounts of money, especially if you want to wage a war on crime, and haven’t any superpowers to speak of. Time then for Bruce to spend some money on the best crime solving gadgets that ridiculous amounts of money can buy. Lets look at some of the Dark Knights greatest gadgets!
BAT SHARK REPELLANT SPRAY
OK, so you might not need this on every mission, but you don’t want to be without it when you do need it. The best way to deal with a shark attached to your leg. Also comes in other sea creature flavours.
ZIP LINE/GRAPPLE GUN
Perhaps the most essential part of the Batman’s arsenal. The grapple gun is the best way to get around Gotham, trap falling supervillians, rescue damsels in distress, and generally act like a superhuman badass, even if you are not superhuman. It looks cool, I want one, it is the first or second best (Indy’s whip?) form of swinging movement, sorry Spider-Man. Grapple gun for the win!
BATARANG
Perhaps the most famous piece of Bat kit. Useful as a weapon, or as a grapple device, and obviously shaped in the form of a bat. The batarang is a multi use device, a perfect amalgam of form and use. Can also come in radio controlled version, for super annoying video game sections!!
BAT GAUNTLETS
Now here, we are taking a bit of a side step. Batman’s gauntlets are awesome, but there was a time, when Bane had broken Bruce Wayne’s back, and Jean Paul Valley, AKA Azreal took over the mantel of the Bat for a time. One of his less friendly innovations were a new set of killer gauntlets. Razor sharp talons, able to fire mini bat throwing stars like bat bullets. OK not strictly within the rules that Bruce Wayne set up, but they were awesome.
SMOKE PELLETS
What better way to disappear than smoke? A small pellet thrown to the floor suddenly engulfs the thrower in a thick smoke, disguising their escape. Batman uses this to further instil fear in his enemies, and I particularly likes using it whilst playing Arkham City. So much fun to throw one down, grapple gun up to the rafters, then swoop down to deal out mega damage to henchmen. Smoke pellets, don’t leave home without them.
UTILITY BELT
All the above items need to be kept somewhere on Batman’s person, somewhere easily accessible to Batman, even in his direst need. What better place then, than a utility belt? Who didn’t want one of these when they were a kid, a pocket for smoke bombs, a pouch for a batarang or two. Lets face it, who doesn’t want one now? It like the coolest bum bag (fanny pack?) ever, and comes in sexy yellow.
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